Love Hurts ( Mischa )

[Ceraphine Davis]

As Kevala laid there in her silent sleep, the first nights sleep she had in some time, she felt a tinge of pain seem to invade her senses, causing her to whimper in her sleep and shift about on the bed. She did not know where it was coming from and the uncomfortableness she felt seemed to increase as if the pain was growing more and more until it finally reached a breaking point.

In her dream, she saw Mischa crying....the pain a remnant of those emotions she had felt from the girl before...the emotions she had caused.

Another soft whimper would escape her as the pain slowly began to fade, though it seemed like it took forever. However the dream remained, long after Mischa had left the house to get breakfast, Kevala was still trapped in this dream like state where she was forced to relive all the pain she had caused the other girl. Her own guilt and worry seeming to increase ten fold.

However eventually she would wake up, those icy hues fluttering open to look up at the ceiling as she bit her lip and bit back the tears that wished to spill forth from her eyes.

It was only then that her hand extended out in search of Mischa and found her bed empty....a stab of pain in her chest at the fact that Mischa was not there......Yet she could tell she was still in the house.......A fact that offered up more relief than it should have.

What was she doing? She didnt know honestly but she knew that if she kept this up she would only make it that much more worse on the other girl.

Slowly she would crawl out of bed, dressed once more in her undies and tank top she ran her fingers through her hair to get it looking somewhat decent, and then headed out of the room to try and find the other girl...the smell of food hitting her senses.

"You always try to feed me for some reason."

She leaned up against the wall as she looked at Mischa and laughed softly. Not that Kev was not hungry, but still.....She didnt eat THAT much.

>.>

[Mischa Badoer]

"You always try to feed me for some reason."

Mischa would roll her eyes. "You always make it seem like it's an inconvenience for me." she would would get everything laid out on the table before approaching Kev, wrapping her arms around her hip. Mischa would casually press her lips to the corner of Kev's. She wanted to act as couple-like as possible with her before she left the house... 'cause she knew after this... they will have to be friends. "And I know you... You love your food and can eat as much as you put your mind to it." she said with a little laugh before turning the connection between their lips into a small and sweet kiss before parting. "I have to feed my Kev or she gets grumpy."

Mischa would sit herself down and help herself to the food. "Now eat." she grabbed some bacon and stuck it into her mouth giving it a good chew when she remembered how she had went to her pizzeria to get it... she was gonna pay for it to be nice but she dropped her wallet somewhere.. she checked the school ground...'cause... yeah.. then she checked the car... so that just left the house.

"Hey...mind if I take a look around..I think I dropped my wallet some where?" she would finish the bacon and wait for an answer.... after all she didn't want to go looking if it made Kev looking.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala smiled at those soft kisses and closed her eyes, soaking up the feel of the girl who was now so dangerously close to her. Though as she spoke Kev would shrug slightly and look as innocent as possible.

She only got a little grumpy....not like she completely lost it or anything......

>____>

Yes so it was easy to say that Kev would do as she was told, moving to take a seat and start eating.....It was soooo good, and of course she got lost in the moment of food heaven.

As she nommed she heard Mischa speak and would wave her hand in a casual manner.

"You know I dont care....Look all you want."

Oh yeah she was lost in the yumminess of the bacon and all the other goodies that were there to chow down on. Wanting to eat as much as she could before Zeke woke up. She bet she had about another hour before that happened, which was good. Cause this food was soooooooo good.

Those icy hues lost on the food in front of her as she drank down her juice and then nommed some more bacon.

"You know...you are like the most amazing cook."

She flashed that little grin and then continued to eat. Knowing full and well that Mischa did not cook...but Kev always loved to pretend.....It was just one of the many little things they shared between them.

[Mischa Badoer]

She got the okay as Kevala was too absorbed into her food... Then she heard the compliment only reminding her of every time they were together eating store bought food... Mischa smiled back and nodded. "Only the best for you." she would stick another bacon in her mouth before getting up to look for her missing wallet.

"I know where it might be..so be right back." she would skip along to the room where Kevala had showed her the song the night prior. Smiling in victory she picked up her wallet, threw it in the air and caught it...before she saw the MP3 player on the ground. Her smile faded as she remembered why it had been out..what it showed her. She picked it up and tried turning it on before seeing the batteries were dead. Mischa sighed and wrapped the headphones up and opened the drawer to put it back where Kev had grabbed it. She set it down and was about to close it to return to the kitchen...before she saw it.

Mischa's hand brushed against that journal that she had come all too familiar with within the confines of being committed for her addiction.

She picked it up and flipped through the pages. It was painful to see what she had written..especially on the last entry she had written... after staring at it for a bit she went to put it back in the drawer...but it slipped out of her hand "Fuck..." damn her clumsiness! She leaned over to pick it up...but of course hit her head on the desk first.. "Fuck, Mischa, you fail." she would mumble to herself with a small laugh before realizing the page that it had landed on was that not of her own writing.

Mischa looked in it out of curiosity... she wasn't TRYING to be snoopy... but when you found writing in a journal that used to belong to you and was now in the possession of a girl you love who has opening up issues...it was hard not to.... Who would pass up the chance to fully understand that person you love? Not Mischa...

As she started to read...more and more did her heart sink... Fear... fear of what Kev had done... Fear for what was happening to Kevala. Mischa sunk to the floor her eyes glued to the page..forgetting everything...her grip loosening around her wallet as she bit her lower lips and her fingers worked at turning the page...to the next...to the next... she wouldn't even hear any foot steps...

"Kev...what...is happening..." she would mumble to herself... scared shitless for what was going on in Kevala's mind.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala stared at the last bit of food, a little pout forming on her face as she debated on eating it and then decided that she should instead leave it for Mischa.......Awww......

Looking longingly at the food, she would whimper softly and then turn to see if Mischa was returning yet......

Oh the torture!

So she waited, and waited, and yeah it got to the point her hand was slowly slinking toward the last bit of bacon. Though quickly she caught herself and pulled her hand back, deciding she should probably go check on Mischa, because the girl was clearly taking too long and Kev was worried she might have hurt herself or something.

So with one last look at the food left there, she would push away from the table and bounce off into the other areas of the house, trying to find Mischa and spotting the door to her study open.

Hmm..so that was where she went.

Bouncing in that direction, she pushed open the door the rest of the way and stepped in, her body freezing as she saw Mischa seated there on the floor with that journal in her hand.

There was blood smeared on the pages, bits of hair from each of her victims taped to the pages and rantings of her shattered mind.

Instantly that demon began to growl in her mind, the chains having been broken for so long now that there was no controlling it. Icy hues flashing instantly to crimson as she growled and reached out gripping the door handle. Trying to keep herself in place.

The her that was still there, lost inside the darkness was not about to let anything happen to Mischa, even if the darker nature that burned within her wanted nothing more than to hurt the girl to protect herself.

"What are you doing?"

Her tone was darker, her entire form trembling with anger at not only being caught, not being careful enough to hide it, but also at the way she felt the urge to hurt the girl she so desperately loved.

Closing her eyes as a series of violent thoughts entered her mind, she would slam herself back against the wall, her hand going to the side of her head.

"Mischa........."

The word was barely able to pass her lips as she fought her own personal battle in her mind. She would hurt herself before she did so to Mischa, but the feeling was still there none the less. Now it was a matter of trying to control herself........something she had lost the ability to do the first time she had written in that damn journal.............

[Mischa Badoer]

"What are you doing?" the suddenness of the voice...and even the tone caused Mischa to jump and slam the book closed as fast as she could. She looked up to Kevala who had turned a crimson red.... she was angry. Mischa's apologetic eyes looked to the ground..scared for what was going to happen. It looked like Mischa was being snoopy... deceiving... not only that... she found out some information nobody would have wanted to share. Mischa waited... waited to get hit or something... Kevala was angry... she didn't really recall ever seeing those crimson eyes.....she had... but not for something she had caused... so she didn't know what to expect.

Though her body would loosen up and her gaze would look away from the floor when she heard the slam. Kevala had thrown herself into the wall and was now pressing her hands to the side of her head... like she was holding something in...

I thought Sasha was gone....or was it Sasha?

Mischa would drop her wallet and the journal as she stood and ran over to Kevala. Her hands would grab each of her wrists to pry them off her face only so she could place her own hands on each side of her cheek. She would draw her face close and make sure Kev's face was in hers. "I'm sorry, baby... I didn't mean to see it...Ba-baby? Is there something you need to tell me?" she would try everything in her to avoid throwing up anything that she had just eaten...

[Ceraphine Davis]

She didnt hear her move, didnt see it either, she was too lost in trying to contain herself from hurting the girl before her. Then came that familiar touch to her wrists, pulling her hands away from her head to rest them against Mischa's face.

As she opened her eyes and looked at that loving face she whimpered as tears filled her angry red eyes. Growling once more, the urge to lash out so real she could almost taste it, she slammed her head back into the wall, trying to daze herself enough that she would not wish to hurt her........

She would destroy herself before she ever laid a hand on Mischa....She had always known that. It was why her items were built not to work around her.

"I ....h..have d..done....h..horrible things...."

She hissed, though honestly it was not Kevala that did so, it was that darker nature showing through, angered at the bit of information she was letting forth. Tears burned down her face as she slammed her eyes closed and struggled to maintain some form of control.

"Not...the first time....."

Drawing in a sharp breath she jerked away from the other girl and lightly pushed her out of the way, giving her enough room to make it to the desk where she drew out her letter opener and then fell to the floor.

Staring at the sharp blade now resting in her hand, she would growl and draw in a deep breath. She had to stop the bad thoughts, had to stop herself before she did something she would regret.

Before Mischa could stop her, like she knew the other girl would try to do, she slammed the letter opener into her thigh, a cry of both pain and of relief seemed to echo from her as she lowered her head and felt the blood starting to slowly seep down her leg....dripping onto the carpet in a heavy stream......

Quickly she jerked the blade back out, only allowing more blood to escape.....fully prepared to do so again.....

"DO YOU SEE ME!!!? SEE WHAT I AM!?"

She ran her fingers through the blood, only to spot the journal laying there.........As she reached out, she grabbed it and flipped it open.....

"All of them! Dead! Because of me! Do you see the monster that you fell in love with!? Do you understand now??!!!

Her voice echoing through the room as she ran her bloodied fingers down one of the pages, eyes focused on the strand of hair that rested there. The urge to kill still burning inside of her like a fire that could not be contained.

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa was shoved off as she let out a little gasp. She watched as Kev grabbed for an envelope opener and her eyes went wide... People still had those? The first thing she thought was she was gonna get stabbed or something...but the she remembered the piece of a broken glass.... Kevala had driven it into herself....and just as she thought of that she saw that blade being lifted in the air..

"Kev n-" she didn't have time as she had seen the blade driven into her leg. Mischa slapped her hand to her mouth to try and stifle back a scream.

"DO YOU SEE ME!!!? SEE WHAT I AM!?" Mischa's brows furrowed as her hand on her mouth gripped tighter as she felt the tears coming. She was afraid to move because Kev had the blade ready for another take on her own body... she was scared she was going to aim for a more vital location... that and she STILL didn't want her to stab herself again... didn't matter where.

"Kev...Baby you're scaring me..."

"All of them! Dead! Because of me! Do you see the monster that you fell in love with!? Do you understand now??!!!

Mischa would shake her head as she watched her flip through the countless pages of victims she had murdered. "Kev...You have skeletons in your closet... scary skeletons..... I kill people too... just... you need help..." Mischa would try and get to that blade before Kev did anything else with it. She would be on her knees and pry the bloody envelope opener out of her hands...which would be easy considering it would be slippery. If Mischa got a hold of it sh would throw it to the other side of the room and press her hands against Kev's cheeks, getting them bloody. "I can get you help... I committed myself..there is no shame in it... there is nothing wrong with you..." she pressed a hand down on Kev's thigh making sure she didn't care for the pain she was causing..just worrying about slowing the bleeding... well...maybe that will take her mind off of causing more pain...

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala's hand clenched around the letter opener as she felt Mischa trying to pry it away, yet the blood made it slippery and soon enough she felt it slip from her grasp.

As it was thrown across the room, she felt those hands on her once more and growled softly. The words that escaped Mischa only further enraged the thing that loomed inside of her, yet she struggled with herself not to react as it wanted her to.

"No....You have killed people.....But I torture them. I live for their screams, their pain...their suffering. Hours I keep them there...For hours I bleed the life from them until they beg me to die!"

She felt the heat of her angered tears continuing to flow down her face. The thought of being locked away like some animal too much for even her to bare. She was not going to be locked away. Never.

But in the back of her mind, she begged for it, begged for peace from this dark demon that roamed within her. For just a moment of feeling normal.

Whimpering softly she felt Mischa press her hand to her leg, the blood easily seeping through the girls fingers as she looked down and watched the red flow of blood continue to pool on the carpet.

"I am a monster.....I am dangerous. You should not be around me....I will only hurt you. I cannot control myself. It is tearing me apart inside and I will not have it do the same to you."

She hissed as she jerked her head away and slammed her fist into the desk which rested nearby, pain shooting up her arm, that wrist having just healed from its recent break, and still very tender and sore at times.

Yet still there was cracking sound of the wood giving under her hit.....Only trying to cause herself more pain to try and avoid doing something she would later and always regret.

[Mischa Badoer]

"I am a monster.....I am dangerous. You should not be around me....I will only hurt you. I cannot control myself. It is tearing me apart inside and I will not have it do the same to you."

Mischa clenched her teeth as she saw her punching the desk. She wasn't working with Kev right now..this was someone else.

Pain she wanted pain she was going to get.

Mischa would grab Kev's chin with her free and forcefully jerk it so she would be face to face with Mischa... "Enough of that!" she would hiss before sticking her thumb in Kev's knife wound. "You don't think I torture people?" she pushed harder. "Hm?" with the hand around her chin, Mischa would try and shove her to her side onto the ground so she would be laying down rather than sitting. She wasn't doing any of it to purposely make her feel pain.... it was just to render her. "Don't you recall a little run in with my dad? Do you even remember what he did to you? He didn't even get far... I torture all the time." If Mischa got her on the floor she would climb on her pinning the girls arms under her legs and she leaned in closely. "I'm a monster... you're a monster..... we need help... I was getting help.. I need you to do the same... if not for you are me... for Zeke... for the twins. Now... Don't you ever tell me I shouldn't be around you."

[Ceraphine Davis]

As that finger dug into her wound, the emotions in the air shifted and Kevala hissed in response. She was not used to Mischa behaving in such a manner and it in all honesty caught her by surprise.

The finger continuing to dig into her would and making her growl and shift about though in all honesty the pain was welcomed, needed, begged for......

Hearing those words she would shoot her eyes toward the other girl, narrowing them slightly as she clenched her small hands into fists at her sides. How badly she wanted to lash out at Mischa, but still she held herself back, only to soon find herself pinned beneath her.

She could move if she wanted to, the ability to pull her arms free was within her grasp, yet she let her finish, looked up at her with those intense crimson eyes and listened.

Then just like that, when Mischa leaned in so dangerously close to her, she shifted her body, rolling to the side so that she was able to get Mischa on the ground beneath her now instead.

Her entire body was trembling as she leaned down, her heated shakey breath falling upon Mischa's neck as she growled next to her ear.

"How? How can you have so much faith in me?"

Those words a heated whisper set forth to break across her flesh. She did not understand this, did not comprehend how one person could believe in her so damn much.

Another wave of rage shot through her, and she felt her lips brush against Mischa's neck, that undeniable urge to sink her teeth into her flesh hanging on every thought that escaped her mind.

Unable to pull away, she whimpered, struggling with herself to not do that one thing she so desperately wanted to do.

"Hurt me......Hurt me before I hurt you......"

She was hoping the girl would listen...Hoping she would stop this before Kevala did something she could not control.

"I c...cant stop.........I n..need it too badly...."

She closed her eyes tightly, every breath bringing in more of that intoxicating scent, lips brushing against Mischa's neck as emotions continued to grow darker and more hungrier.

[Mischa Badoer]

"How? How can you have so much faith in me?"

There was the one and only answer to the question.. Both Mischa and Kevala knew that answer so it was left unsaid.

"Hurt me......Hurt me before I hurt you... I c...cant stop.........I n..need it too badly...."

Mischa's body tensed as she felt the heated breath and the demand from Kevala.... Mischa didn't want to hurt her any more than she had already done. She was scared.... scared if she didn't it would cost her her life... something she would have never expected from Kev... but she wasn't herself right now.

With the arm that was on the other side of the area Kev had her lips again she would would quickly snatch up a handful of hair. With a rough jerk she would tug on her hair pulling her face clear from her neck and so close to her own face. Both of their breaths were heated... Mischa was scared... Pissed off... Sad... everything was bubbling inside her...driving her breath to shake and quicken as she had a tight hold of Kevala's hair... a weakness of the girl's. Now.. with her other hand she would slap it as hard as she could across her face.... she wasn't going to punch her... nothing that would leave a mark... 'cause she didn't want to do this in the first place.... With a little exhale of her breath she would slap her again and tug her head forward driving her lips into hers. How rough she kissed her was slightly painful... but right now wasn't entirely a "tender" moment. She would then pull her head away from hers and send another slap to her face.... before she would curl her leg and shove Kev off of her and she would climb back on her.

Mischa would lean in and kiss her again, forcing her tongue inside her mouth before again she would push away and slap her in the face... now instead of repeating she would grab Kev's chin and tilt her head to the side and Mischa would press her free arm's wrist to her lips. "I thought it was under control... I was wrong...." Mischa would clench her teeth and her fist of the arm that was now against Kevala's mouth. "Bite me." she would hiss through her teeth. "Do it... Baby...do it."

Tough Love.

[Ceraphine Davis]

The first of the series of slaps was only fuel to the fire that burned inside of Kev, but it was enough to keep her from doing something she knew she would regret.

Tears continued to streak down her face as the second then third hit landed across her face, leaving a burning sensation in her flesh. Then came that kiss, and the taste of it, the feel of the tinge of pain that was offered by its forcefulness would cause Kevala to growl heatedly.

Lost in that moment, the next slap came as a surprise...that hand that was still curled in her hair only making her weaker and weaker. She could not help that she caved every time somebody pulled her hair....More so when that somebody was Mischa.

As her body again fell back, feeling Mischa pin her down with her weight once more...Then another kiss, this time deeper, more heated. The fear and anger that bubbled up from Mischa only making Kevala that much more hungry for everything that was happening and yet craving so much more.

Then, as Mischa broke away, she heard those words, saw that wrist now so close to her lips.

It was enough to make her whimper as she shook her head, looking up at Mischa and biting her lip. She didnt want to hurt her. She couldnt hurt her.....

"I....I cant.....I cant hurt you..."

Yet even as she said this, she felt a press of that wrist to her lips and all her restraint faded away, before she even knew what she was doing, her teeth sank into Mischa's flesh, that heated blood flow now filling her mouth and causing her to almost purr with relief and satisfaction.

Hungrily her tongue brushed over the wound she had created, entire body seeming to relax and settle there under the other girl as she was lost in her current state. Nothing else there but that taste......that feel........

[Mischa Badoer]

"I....I cant.....I cant hurt you..."

And Mischa pressed on... and soon enough she felt her teeth bar into her skin. Mischa whimpered to the pain, but she felt the slack of Kev's muscles loosen... she was relaxing and Mischa was getting more tense. She let out heavy pants...Moans that sounded very sexual escaped her lips... it was caused by the pain the bite had brought along side the stinging of her tongue against the open wound. As she groaned, her hand slapped to the ground and her fingers curled tiring to grab for something.....

"Kev..." she moaned as she pressed her body into Kev's.... this was SOOOO having the wrong effect on her.... Mischa the pulled her hand away and would take off her shirt and tear it so she could wrap it about her wrist.... then wrap it around Kev's thigh. She would look down at Kev with hunger filled eyes. Her thumb came up to wipe the blood from her lips before she would lean in and kiss her.... Mischa slid her tongue into her mouth...able to taste that tinge of copper that still lingered on the other girl's tongue. She pulled back.. but biting the girl's lip hard with a forceful tug. She would grab Kev's wrists and pin them to the ground above her head as she sucked on her lower lip.

"Only you can make me feel this way..." Mischa traced her lips along her skin down to her neck biting it harder than usual. "And I don't know why...."

[Ceraphine Davis]

That moan was enough to drive Kev over the edge, it was heaven to her ears to hear such a heated sound escaping Mischa as she licked away that blood that flowed from the wound.

Then as the hand was pulled away, she whimpered with her own want and desire, those eyes looking up to Mischa once more as she bandaged her wound and Kevala's.......then came the kiss, the taste of that blood mixed with Mischa's natural taste was ecstasy.

A loud, growled moan escaped her, her hands being pinned above her head she would rock her body up into Mischa's...Returning that kiss for as long as she could before feeling her pull away with that rough tug to her lip.

Then came the rough bites to her neck, her head tilting lightly to the side as she trembled with pleasure.

"Baby......"

The tone was harsh and yet filled with longing and desire. She was craving her more now than ever, though it always felt that way when they were around each other. She felt the desire burning within Mischa and it only made her own that much more real.

After a moment Kev would shift her body once more, knowing she could escape this hold but not wishing to. No, she was too lost in the way the girl atop her made her feel. Too wanting of more of her precious Mischa.