Love Hurts ( Mischa )

[Ezekial Seran]

Zeke was so happy to see MOMMY!!!! But then he felt the dull nervous throb of emotions from somebody else and his eyes were soon brought upon another lady...Purrty lady!!!

*GRABBY HANDS*

His attention drawn back to his Mommy as she talked and a little nod given.

"Eke gewd boy! Pway wif Waura!"

He smiled that innocent smile and then turned back as the pretty lady talked to him now.....His blue eyes shimmering as he giggled and wiggled to get down.

Once Mommy had set him down, he would run over to his blocks and plop down on his but, showing her his tower.....

"Eke play dinosaw!"

With that he would growl and knock all the blocks down....Apparently somebody had let him watch Godzilla and now he believed it was the coolest thing on earth. Even though he always loved destruction...Now he had a name for it.

hehe...........The picture box was fun!!!

He then set about stacking the blocks once more, clapping his hands as he finished and then pointing at them.

"You turn!!"

He giggled and then sat back watching, content and happy to have play time.

She was a lady so she was not scary like the men...men were bad cause men had taken him and gave him owwies!!

[Ceraphine Davis]

As Zeke wiggled to get free she would set him down before moving to take a seat on the couch, letting the two get to know each other as she laid back, closing her eyes....

She was so stressed out lately and tomorrow night she was going to be very busy. The lack of sleep wearing on her and the desire to hurt somebody increasing all the more.

Yet she let no sign of this come forth...instead she would simply let out a little sigh and nuzzle into the couch....

Just resting her eyes for a moment as she yawned once and placed her arm over her eyes.....

All the while listening to the two of them play.

One thing she had to admit is Mischa had always been so great with children...something that pained her to know that that little bitch had cost them their child they would have had together....the one thing that could have saved Kev's soul.......Now, it was lost and she did not know if she would ever get it back.

[Mischa Badoer]

Zeke got excited over the mention of toys and he wanted to show her... which was a good thing! She followed in tow as s

he plumped himself on the floor by a pile of blocks.

"Eke play dinosaw!"

Mischa put on a look of shock and amazement as her voice made it sound like she was highly impressed. "Dinosaurs?! I donno...can you pull that off?"

Once she said this he gave a growl and knocked his little castle to the ground.

"Holy! That was scary!" she would then help him build the towers once more.

"You turn!!"

Mischa's face had mock concern and worry..though she was generally just having fun with him. "Oh...I don't know if I could be as scary as you... but I will give it a try." She would give of a loud rawr before smacking the blocks down. "Oh no! I'm out of control!" she said in a a voice that was supposed to be "dinosaur-esque". Once she said this she lifted her arms and her fingers would be barbed as if they were claws. "Raaaa!" she would reach for Zeke and grab his sides to tickle him and she would lean in to pretend to nom on his stomach. "OM NOM NOM DINOSAUR HUNGRY!"

[Ezekial Seran]

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

He giggled as he rolled onto his back. His little hands pushing at her head as she tried to nom his tummy!!

"No eats me!!!"

He would laugh uncontrollably before he would wiggle away and crawl off to hide and peek out from behind the chair, a little hushed giggle given.

She was totally never going to find him here!!

Ducking back around the side he would sit there with his little knees drawn up and a muffled sound of laughs escaping. Not like anyone could hear him or anything....

Hehehehe!

Zeke was so awesome!!

Eyes darting over to Mommy to make sure she was still here....A bad habit since the break in.......But he was doing better, despite the long scar that ran down the length of his arm....

Hands coming up to cover his mouth as he tried to hold back a fit of giggles as she was no doubt trying to find him.

NEVAH!!!!

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala tried not to go to sleep, yet she found herself in that freaky half asleep half awake stage, curling onto her side as she placed her hands under her head and let her hair fall over her face to block out the light.

She honestly felt so content and at ease with Mischa there that her stress level was not nearly as bad as it had been before. Which was a nice change of pace......

The muffled out sounds of Zeke's laughter bringing a smile to her face as she sighed and curled her feet up so that she was in a little ball on the couch, gently nuzzling her head into the couch and just listening.....

She had no worries about Zeke while Mischa was there...Which was good...She hated having to be so concerned with his safety around every person she met....But then that was just the life that she lived......

[Mischa Badoer]

"No eats me!!!"

He squirmed around and laughed that cute little laugh all babies had. She would keep making om nom noises. "BUT I ARE HUNGRY!" she said in the best of her ability to have a booming voice.

He escaped from her playful grasp and he went running to hide behind the couch. She looked around as if she had no clue where he was. Mischa would climb the couch and try her best not to stir Kev...who looked to have been sleeping. Now she looked over the side down at Zeke who was expecting her to come from another location... so she jumped down in front of him.

"Rah!" she would grab him picking him up. Now this is when she started running around with him...giving him the effect of him flying.

"Woooo! Is it a bird? Is it a plane?! IT'S SUPERMAN!!" she cheered as she ran around the living room. She would stop then whisper in his ear. "Mommy needs a super, big hug from Superman. Do you think you've got what it takes?" knowing the kid he would take her up on her dare... so she would swoop him in and toss him on Kev...not from an alarm distance that would hurt Kev or Zeke from the collision... just from a distance that made it shocking for Kev and fun for Zeke.

[Ezekial Seran]

He was stealthy!

He was smooth!

He was caught!

Ack!! NUUUUU!!

Giggling as he was captured and swooped up into the air. It was enough to make him clap his hands and kick his little feet.

Then she called him Superman....which was totally cool because he saw the man called that on the picture box and that guy was...

O___O

So yeah...he was more than happy with that....

Then talk about hugs for Mommy! Yesh!! Super hugs!!!

Giggling once more as he clapped his hands.....

"Hugs Mama! Biiiiig huggies!!"

He would then wait as he was launched into Mommy...Feeling her jerk slightly as he wrapped his little arms about her and clung to her for dear life.

Of course she was quick to wrap an arm around him, only making him that much more sure she was loving her huggles!!!

<3 The Mommy!!!!

Placing a kiss to her cheek he would wiggle around on her as he spoke out happily

"Luffs you Mama!!"

His speech so much better since he started to listen to what people had to say....Instead of just the sound of their voice

[Ceraphine Davis]

She was just about asleep when she felt that weight dropped onto her, knowing instantly it was Zeke from the laugh and the little arms that wrapped about her.

Smiling as she forced herself awake she would wrap her arm protectively around him letting him wiggle up her body til she felt his lips on her cheek.

Another new trick she had taught him.

Then the words escaped him and all she could do was look at him and smile, her lips pressing to his forehead as she spoke out softly in that soothing....Motherly tone....

"I love you to baby.....You know how much? More than all the stars in the universe....Which is a lot....."

He was the one thing in her life that she could honestly say she loved beyond all reason and beyond all doubt. He was her world....just as the twins had been.....Hence her doing what she did to protect them.

Looking down at Zeke she wondered for an instant if she could do the same for him.......

Though she slammed that door shut real fast, not wanting to think about how much better of he would be without her.....Hell, how much better off everyone would be without her around to fuck shit up and cause stress...............

Honestly, her place in this world became more and more blurry each day.........

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa dropped to the floor sitting on her but and her legs spread and laying flat on the ground..her hands supporting her by being propped up on the floor that was in between her legs. She watched intently to the swapped intimacy. Kind of stung a bit... could have been them and her baby... Kev would have been a fantastic mother to their unborn kid..just as Mischa would have tried her best to be a good mother as well.

"I love you to baby.....You know how much? More than all the stars in the universe....Which is a lot....."

Mischa smiled big..she couldn't help but fall in love with Kev all over again. Now she didn't want to move because it wasn't in her place to interrupt their moment... but she couldn't help but feel apart of it rather excluded.

"All the stars? Holy moly you're one lucky super hero, bud." she stared up at them from the floor..still smiling like the dork she was..though as she studied them she saw the scar on Zeke's arm. She wasn't sure if that was the core of Kevala not telling her of him to protect him....or if it was from something new....then again Mischa was getting pro with scars... after all she had a few from her own mistakes and a few inflicted by others...so..yeah she was able to tell this one wasn't old at all. Did she dare ask? Yeah..Mischa has asked some cut to the chase questions...like the origin of the brand mark on Kev's hips... some she didn't ask about... like the self inflicted wounds over Kev's skin..it was obvious...so all Mischa would do was comfort her... but now this question didn't involve Kev..it involved Zeke...so she was worried it would hit her harder because she cares for others more than herself...s'pecially if they were someone she loved.

Save it for another day.

"Because she loves you so much..its only fair you eat all your..." she paused giving the sentence more anticipation for the lawls "..VEGGIES!"Her smile was still apparent..now looking up at Kev with the same shimmering look she had given her two years ago...

[Ezekial Seran]

Zeke was sorta distracted at the moment, seeing as there was a grumbling in his tummy!!!

NUUUUU!!!!

The little one falling over on his Mommy as he held his tummy and faked death......

Yes, another new trick he had learned. Eyes closed he would then peek one eye open at her and smile.

"Eke hungy!!! Nuu vestebles!

Bleck!

Icky nasty stuff!

Instead he would wiggle down to stand and then bounce in place clapping his hands, those eyes shimmering with prospects of cookies...Oh! Or fruit!! He looooved his fruit cups!!

Toddling off to the kitchen he would try and see if he could pilfer from the cold box thingy before Mommy got there. But that darn door was so heavy!!

X___X

His little giggle sounding out from the other room now as he tugged a couple times only to end up on his butt on the floor.

It was his nemesis.....One day evil cold box thingy! One day!!!

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala made quick to hide her concern for him as she noted the look in Mischa's eyes, instead forcing a smile as Zeke faked death. She could not help but giggle at that. He was such a strange little boy and yet something about that made him all the more endearing.

As he wiggled free and went to rage war with the fidge she would sit up and look at Mischa, her hand coming forth to brush over a few strands of the girls hair.

"No more looks like that. Do not worry so much about me."

She would then drop her hand away, her eyes falling to the floor for a moment before she would draw in a deep breath. Collecting herself before rising to go and chase down Zeke.

"So little man. What do you want? Pea? Cabbage? Hmmm....carrots?"

Laughing at the ugly look she got as she opened the fidge and pulled out a sippy of milk and a fruit cup.....A squee of happiness as she heard him hurry to climb into his chair.

As she set about making the snack for him, well opening it....she would look to see if Mischa had followed. No matter how much she knew they could not be together, she still wanted her in her life, in one way or another.

[Mischa Badoer]

She watched as Zeke played around as an absent smile was now apparent on Mischa's features. He then ran off leaving the two of them alone. Kev's hands brushed a few strands of her hair and as if just zoning in on the conversation Mischa looked into her blue eyes.

"No more looks like that. Do not worry so much about me."

Mischa shrugged. Now how was she supposed to that? Yeah, Kev could ask her not to...but it would be too damn hard to try not to worry. Live with someone who has many burdens for that long you really start to worry how they are handling things. Mischa was impressed with Kevala's strength in carrying on in life. There were a few slip ups... but she was only human.

Kevala got up and left the living room to attend to the hungry baby. Mischa sighed and laid her back on the ground to rub her eyes. She looked to her watch and it was getting late... they had spent a lot of time at the school as well with playing with Zeke. It was late... but Mischa didn't want to leave anytime soon.

Finally she would walk into the kitchen area... her head leaning against the threshold of the entrance.

"So little man. What do you want? Pea? Cabbage? Hmmm....carrots?"

Mischa let out a small laugh at Kevala fooling around with Zeke... making him worried he had gotten forced into veggies he made a disgusted face. Of course it all changed when Kevala "caved" and gave him a fruit cup and some milk. They both sat down as Mischa still stood there observing the love in the room. She missed it all... Missed Kev... Missed the Twins... Missed the nights where they would all just have dinner or something that involved them all gathered together and having genuine fun.

Mischa would catch Kev's look as if she was making sure she was in the kitchen with them. Mischa gave her a smile and would then take a seat across the table from the two. Her chin would rest on the balls of both her palms and would watch the two have their mother and son moment.

What would have it been like if she were to have a kid? Yeah... she was really young... but she felt she would be good with one. If...she made it past the pregnancy part. Would life be a little easier on her if she had that baby? Kevala may have been still with her... and if not... well, at least she would have had the baby.

"...Sometime...We should..hang out. Maybe take Zeke to the zoo.." she would smile looking to the table top..shy of the question. "Just the three of us?"

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala listened, setting about strapping Zeke into his chair so that he was not able to escape and then turned to face Mischa, letting him eat as she drew in a deep breath.

Walking toward her she bit her lower lip nervously and then reached out, taking the other girl's hand and tugging her out of the kitchen.

"We need to talk...."

She would then tug Mischa into her study, shutting the door as she leaned back against it and released her hand. She had to tell her why she did what she did, why she was the way she was. All their time together she had kept it all inside, all locked away so that no other could see the weakness that grew inside her. Eating away at her soul until there was nothing left but the dark emptiness that was now Kevala.

Drawing in a deep breath once more, she would slip past Mischa, heading over to her desk and sitting upon the top of it. Her small hands gripping the edge as she lowered her head and thought over what she was about to say. Something she had realized about herself awhile back, yet had hoped would change. Now, as she sat there, looking at Mischa, she knew that it never would.

Finally those eyes cast a glance toward her, icy hues shimmering with tears as her nails bit into the hard wood of the table.

"The reason I left......The reason I said all the things that I said, was because I was.............scared...."

The instant the words left her lips she felt her stomach turn. Never in her entire life, not once had she uttered those words, and her complexion visibly paled upon saying them now, slinking off the desk until she was crumpled upon the floor, barely able to continue, yet she forced herself.....She owed her this much.......

"I cannot be happy Mischa.....I fear it....I am destroying myself.....One day at a time........and I wont stop until the end......."

She looked up once more...eyes now white....The meaning of the end more than clear to both of them she was certain.

"You deserve better than what I can give you....I will self destruct to push you away.........To keep myself safe...to not feel ........f...fear...."

She coughed upon the end of the word. She had never believed that some emotions, some words were so powerful they could cause such reactions, at least not until today............

Tears sliding down her face she would reach up, gripping the desk to pull herself up once more as she patted her hand blindly across it, not stopping until she came to her MP3 player which she listened to religiously. It had always kept the voices down, now, it was just habit.........

Turning it on, she easily found the song she needed, seeing as how it was all she listened to these days......Moving forward, her eyes refusing to meet Mischa's she would force it into her hands.

"Listen to this.....You will understand."

She then hurried out of the room.

Why?

Because literally she was going to be sick. In a matter of minutes she had gone from strong and brave to scared and sick....Heh...

Heading into the downstairs bathroom she would collapse in front of the toilet, yeaaaah...........anything she had eaten up until now launching a protest in her stomach........

[Mischa Badoer]

"We need to talk...."

Mischa's brows furrowed as she was being tugged. Kevala seemed very serious... and out of nervousness Mischa did the one thing she usually does when she is this nervous.

Joke.

"Zoo a no go then?"

She was then pulled into a study and she stood there..confused out of all hell why Kevala started acting...different.

"I cannot be happy Mischa.....I fear it....I am destroying myself.....One day at a time........and I wont stop until the end......."

Kevala collapsed onto the floor and already Mischa's eyes filled with tears as she felt worried for her. It scared her when Kev talked like this. Why? Kev never did. Never would Kevala admit to something she feels...always doting upon others.... never Kev talked about "the end" with Mischa 'cause she knew damn well Mischa wouldn't take it... but there was something different about this confession.... Mischa couldn't put her finger on it only because she didn't fully understand. And right now...all she felt was fear of her own.

She would kneel down and wrap an arm around her shoulder to rub her bicep of the arm on the other side. She tried hushing her to calm the convulsing but nothing worked.

"You deserve better than what I can give you....I will self destruct to push you away.........To keep myself safe...to not feel ........f...fear...."

Mischa's brows furrowed as a stray tear spilled from her eye. She was trying to be strong right now... Kevala was scared....vulnerable... someone needed to be strong... so her voice was steady... but her eyes let the tears fall no matter how hard Mischa tried to stay brave.

"Kev I wan-"

Kevala interrupted her objection and handed her head phones to an MP3 player. Kev demanded she listen to it before she bolted for the door. Mischa stood, headphone still in her hands. She wanted to chase after her, but got confused about the whole music thing. So she put the head phones to her ears...still in a ready stance to go chase after Kevala. Her lip quivered as she listened to the lyrics... and just as she listened to enough of it to get the point she dropped the device to the floor and run down the stairs. She ran into the kitchen to see Zeke by himself... no she wasn't in there. Mischa paused looking around..panicked to where she could have gone. Her breath started coming in quick paces...hyperventilating... This wasn't like Kev...To run...

Finally she heard the noise in a room and she would open it to see Kevala collapsed on the floor in front of the toilet. Mischa would run to Kev and kneel down half way behind her and to the side of her so she could hold Kev's hair back.

"Baby..." her voice was a calm whisper...well it sounded come... but Mischa was scared to death to the point it was hard to speak. "Baby you're not too far" she said referring back to the lyrics. "Please...baby? Just let me catch up. I want you to be happy... I don't deserve anybody but you." she would kiss the side of her head near her ear. "Please don't talk like that.. baby it scares me."

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kev felt that hand pulling back her hair, she felt the fear that escaped Mischa and seeped into her own self, and she welcomed it. Because it was not her fear, it was not her weakness....yet still those words, that realization echoed in her mind, only making it that much harder to stop the convulsions that ripped through her body. Her muscles seeming to have a mind of their own as she trembled so hard it was impossible for her to grip anything, giving up finally and laying them upon the floor.

The words Mischa spoke were clear, yet she could not help but feel like the girl was wrong. She was too far. She was always just out of reach because she kept herself that way, and as she struggled to regain some bit of composure she wished with all she had left inside that she could change that.

Then that kiss pressed to her head, her eyes falling shut as she whimpered out softly. It was all she could do, no words wanting to spill forth no matter how much she willed them to.

Finally, when she had absolutely nothing left to throw up, she pushed back, falling back against the tub and letting her head rest there as her hand reached up and gripped the towel from the rack, using it to wipe her face where sweat now covered her features.

Eyes falling closed as she continued to tremble softly, tears falling down her face as she focused on Mischa's emotions. Trying to drown her own out, to pretend they did not exist once more. To let them fade away so that all that was left was what everyone else felt.......

Yet she could not, all she could do was slowly lower to the floor, her head coming to rest in Mischa's lap as she buried her face to the other girls stomach....crying softly and gripping her tightly.

"I am trying......"

It was all the managed to get out before once more the words seemed to get lodged in her throat.....Instead just settling to curl into a tiny ball on the cold tiled floor and hide, that fear crippling to her.....Just wanting to disappear and run away from it....But right now....she couldnt......