Love Hurts ( Mischa )

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa held her hair all until she was finished. She wiped her face and would bury her face in Mischa's lap...which she let. Her hand was still in her hair as her other hand was rubbing her arm comfortably.

"I am trying......"

Mischa leaned her head back as she comforted her. "Kev... You are more than capable... you are just focusing all your energy on the negatives... if you rearrange that... you can put your mind to being happy... Baby... I love you... I won't hurt you and I think a part of you knows that... but you are too busy psyching yourself out. Just let me in... I will wait for you to find yourself... I will wait for as long as it takes."

And this was all true. Kevala's self esteem was too low to think she could actually accomplish happiness in life...Mischa wanted to show her out of that state of mind. At a point Mischa had a very low self esteem... at times she still does being all unsure of herself... but she got better...Kevala made her life better... let her see there was something for her in this large lonely space. Mischa hoped to open Kevala's eyes and show her a new way of seeing.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala listened, her head buried into the girls stomach as she breathed in her scent and slowly started to relax, her grip however never releasing as she sniffled and bit upon her lower lip rather harshly.

"I....I cant....stop..I try so hard. But no matter what..I feel like I have to help them."

Sure, most people figured she was the evil bitch that she came off to be, thinking that she didnt care about anyone but herself, but she did, that was the problem.

Finally pulling her face back some, she released one hand to come up and brush away the tears that streaked down her face, her hair falling across her eyes and no attempting being made to move it.

"I love you so much baby....I just.....I cant give you what you need until I figure out how to stop myself...."

She whimpered softly and nuzzled into Mischa's lap, her eyes closing as she simply tried to soak up all the strength she could from being with her like this.

[Mischa Badoer]

"I....I cant....stop..I try so hard. But no matter what..I feel like I have to help them."

"You can...You just don't know how to be a little selfish once in awhile." she said with a smile. Some hair fell into Kev's face and she brushed it away, tucking it behind her ears. once she did that she wiped at her tears and leaned over to give her a kiss on her head.

"I love you so much baby....I just.....I cant give you what you need until I figure out how to stop myself...."

What she needed was Kev... and for Kev to be finally happy.

"I know... and I love you too...Which is why I will wait until you figure some stuff out...and remember...I'm just a phone call away...I will help you to the best of my abilities, because yeah...I will wait... but doesn't mean I'm still not gonna be impatient...I want my baby back." she said with a small smile. "Want me to stay over tonight?" she could want the company...at times like this people felt vulnerable and lonely...and Mischa wanted her to know that she was there for her...and NO she wasn't wanting sex... she just wanted to stay over...'cause yeah... she didn't want to be alone either >.>

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kev felt a bit better as that hand came to brush her hair out of her face, biting her lip still as she listened. She could pretend to be selfish, and apparently came off as such on occasion. But honestly she didnt know how.

Not like anyone but Mischa would ever believe that. Letting out a soft sigh she would nod. Feeling guilty for having Mischa wait on her. Having to be selfish now as killing her. Yet the other option was for her to keep fucking up and hurting her....Not something she could live with doing.

Her life was so complicated..things just did not make sense right now. She needed them to.

As the offer came to spend the night, Kevala would finally push herself up off the girl's lap and sit up, her hand running through her hair as she drew in a deep breath.

"I would like that...."

She did not really want to be alone. Not right now......Letting a weak little smile pass her lips she would gather the strength to rise and stand....Nodding toward the door.

"I am sure there is a little man who made a big mess in the kitchen waiting. Heh....Come on...."

Those eyes a pale shade of their usual color, but far better than they had been.

[Mischa Badoer]

She sat up and said Mischa was allowed to stay for a night with that pretty smile on her face. Mischa returned it in kind and as Kev got herself up, Mischa's hand pressed to the small of her back as if to help her up...but more for moral 'cause she didn't shove her up or anything. She got herself up and smiled at Kev with the mentioning of Zeke. She wiped her eyes and would wrap an arm around Kev's waist as they left the bathroom.

They entered the kitchen and Mischa would separate from Kev and let her deal with messy baby matters as she helped herself in looking for a glass. Living with the girl for so long she was able to pick up how she organize things..so she guessed where the glasses were and...well..was right.

"Want a glass of water to wash out that nasty taste?" she would let the tap run and let it cool off and she poured the water into the cup. She made one more trip and that was to the freezer to grab a few cubes of ice. Mischa would sit herself down and pass her the glass of icy water. Apparently Kev didn't have a say if she wanted water or not. Mischa wasn't going to take no for an answer.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kev would take the drink of water before going over to where Zeke was sitting and scooping him up. Then, with a little smile offered toward Mischa, albeit weak, but still there, she would press a kiss to her cheek...

"Always taking care of me. Even when I do not deserve it."

She would then let Zeke give the little kiss he wanted to offer up as well before she laughed softly.

"I am going to lay him down. I will be back soon."

With that she would turn and leave the room, heading up the stairs toward his room where she would change him into his jammies and then laid him down, giving him a gentle kiss to his forehead before brushing her fingers through his hair softly.

With that she would leave the room, turning off the light and then heading to her room where she would change into her typical boy shorts and the tank top that always stopped just above her belly button....Her hair being pulled back and her glasses put on.....

Yeah she looked a little dorky at night, but then she knew Mischa did not care.

Heading back downstairs she would go in search of Mischa before stopping and leaning against the wall.

"You sure you want to stay with me?"

Kev was nervous about asking, scared she would change her mind. Scared she would leave.....Yet knowing it may be best in the long run.......

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa would return the smile as she let Kev kiss her on the cheek. Mischa would then blow a kiss towards Zeke before they left the room. She would wait awhile... wondering what was taking her awhile.. then Kev came in with her usual PJs and her glasses on. Kev never really showed herself looking like such... Though Mischa thought she was always beautiful.

"You sure you want to stay with me?" Mischa would size her up... the curves of her body never getting old. She would stand and approach her... her arms would slink around her waist loosely as she would press her pelvis to hers.

"Well Kev... I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it... and if I didn't know any better... I would assume you were trying to talk me out of it."

If Kev wanted her to go...then she supposed she would leave. Mischa didn't want to leave though and would really like the company... and it would be nice to just have that small feeling of having what she used to.... being able to hold her closely... just... each others company. "I'm staying over unless you say otherwise..." she would press her cheek to hers giving a little nudge as her lips were near Kev's ears "Unless you don't brush your teeth."

She would let out a small breathy laugh as she would pull away. "So... deal or....?"

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kev stood there, unmoving as Mischa came near her, her arms slipping about Kev's waist and her words sparking that fire in Kev that was all too familiar. This girl knew just how to tease her until she was ready to break....breathing already growing a bit more heated.......

Then Mischa leaned in, her cheek pressing against Kevala's and the words she spoke only seeming to fade out as she focused instead on the way Mischa felt and the way her scent lingered so dangerously close to Kev's........Those lips so close to her ear, the last straw........

Growling softly Kev would shift her weight, quickly pinning Mischa to the wall as she pushed her body into her.....A little, dark grin curling onto her lips as she tilted her head and brushed her tongue slowly over her lower lip.

"Tomorrow you will go about your life....We will be friends.....we will be forced to take things slow......."

She leaned in, her lips brushing to Mischa's neck, softly at first before she would nip her just a bit roughly...Something she often did when in this mood......Another growl escaping as she hissed out a soft reply once more.......

"But tonight you are mine....."

Possessive? Yes, she was, and though she knew she had no right, none at all, for tonight she would let that side of her come to light.......Tomorrow she would learn to control it......Learn to look the other way at people who neared Mischa..........

But tonight........it was just about them......About showing Mischa just how much she set that fire ablaze inside of Kev.

[Mischa Badoer]

Before Mischa could pull away she was pushed into the wall. Now she didn't even know she was leading Kev into temptation until she felt that tongue over her lips. Mischa tried keeping her composure. Was it a good idea to do this?? Really??

"Tomorrow you will go about your life....We will be friends.....we will be forced to take things slow......."

Mischa nodded to the truth to it as she made a small moan when she felt that nip at her neck.

"But tonight you are mine....."

She could feel a wash of sadness at it.

Tonight Mischa will be Kevala's.

Forever Kev would be Mischa's.

Mischa pulled Kev's face away from her neck and would look deep into those blue eyes. There would be a moment where she would just stare... trying to remember that look, because she had a feeling she might not get it any more... that it might be for someone else. Mischa pressed a hand to the girl's cheek and would kiss her forehead; instantly turning something more rough into something full of passion. Mischa would place her thumb under her chin and lift her face up so she could lean in and give a faint kiss on the lips.

"What ever makes you happy..." she would say in a small voice and a weak smile. she would brush her hair behind her hair and her hand would cup the back of Kev's head gently. "Anything for you, baby." her voice held sincerity and the pain of having to let her go for her own good. Mischa wish that having Kev wasn't holding her back. Only time Mischa ever felt selfish... it was always with Kev.

Smiling and looking into those eyes she would lean in again and press a kiss to her lips.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala was always able to sense what Mischa felt, always....It had been the one thing that linked them, that direct line that she had to the other girl's emotions.....So now, with that wave of sadness, Kev would tilt her head and listen.....

She was a smart girl, and though she knew what it was that Mischa wanted, she also knew that she could not give it to her. Not right now.

Pulling back from that kiss, which was extremely hard to do, Kev would wrap her small fingers about Mischa's wrist and tug her up the stairs into the bed room, as she moved over to the bed.

As she pushed Mischa to lay down, she would wait til she was settled and then slowly begin to crawl up her body, making sure to brush softly against her with each movement....

"Tell me what I can do to prove that you will always be mine....and I yours.......And do not pretend that is not what you were feeling......You know I can sense it......."

Her small hands pushing at the other girls shirt, slowly, brushing her lips across her silken flesh.......No heated moment, just soft loving touches.....

"For you I would suffer any torture, if it proved to you that which you doubt so much....."

Not moving yet, simply lingering those kisses over Mischa's tummy......

[Mischa Badoer]

Kev parted from the kiss as Mischa felt like running away to hide. Kev then lead her into the room and lifelessly let Kev position her on the bed.

"Tell me what I can do to prove that you will always be mine....and I yours.......And do not pretend that is not what you were feeling......You know I can sense it.......For you I would suffer any torture, if it proved to you that which you doubt so much....."

Mischa stared at the roof as her body studied every touch Kev presented her.

"I'm not pretending anything now am I going to say anything... What's done is done." her hand would comb through hair. "Let's just play along... There is no changing it..." Mischa would prop herself up and look down at Kev as her hands remained in her hair. "Don't dwell on what I feel, love. Focus on yourself." she would lift Kevala's head and lean down the rest of the way to kiss those lips... to have that connection that was like the one she had before Kev broke it off to lead them into the room.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kev hated when Mischa did that, acting as though what she felt was not important. But Kevala knew that if she kept pushing it then things would only get worse.

So she would take that kiss, pushing her body upward to pin Mischa to the bed and letting her hands roam up her side, another soft growl escaping if only to benefit Mischa. Kevala could always act as though she were fine, it was what she was good at....So she would do it now.

Breaking away from the kiss she would trail her lips down the girl's jawline and onto her neck, a soft nip offered as her thigh slid up between Mischa's and brushed against her teasingly.

She was seeking out those sounds she loved so much, craving them almost as much as the darkness inside her craved pain and suffering.....

Her fingers brushing over the flesh of Mischa's side slowly, nails lightly biting against the girls flesh as she pressed into her, breathing in her scent and soaking up the feel of her body.

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa laid down now as Kevala forced her to. Everything was heated in between then... but since when was it not? Mischa's eyes closed as she let every touch soak into her skin... every shrill of excitement pounding in her head as she let out a heavy exhale of her breath. Mischa's thigh's grip tightened around Kev's thigh. Mischa's hand would grab a handful of Kevala's boy shorts in a tight hold tugging her closer. Her left foot would slide up so her thigh can press in between Kevala's.

Her body bent and shifted in the response to the feelings she had tingling beneath her skin. Toes curling, fingers gripping on her clothes... lips sucking on her sweet neck... everything was ecstatic...Her touch, her smell, her sounds.... her taste. Mischa would use the grip she had on her boy shirts to slide them down her thigh. Mischa's nails then would return dragging up the length of her hips and slid to Kevala's back side.

Mischa's body would shift so when she moved, she would roll over on top of her. Now she would be sitting up tall, looking down at Kevala. She felt like what she was doing now was taking something that wasn't hers. It felt wrong to be doing something like this with someone when you know they weren't looking for a relationship... but it felt more right to be with Kevala so it canceled the possibility of it being wrong out. Mischa slid off her shirt and as it was out of the picture her eyes returned to those blue hues. A smile painted on her soft features... it wasn't the same dorky smile most seen her with... it was a genuine smile that she only showed Kev... Her lips formed into the unspoken words "I love you" before she leaned into Kev... her tongue licking her collar bone before she engaged in a trail of kisses to the seem of the tank top collar and continuing on to her exposed stomach.

Mischa's hands would pull Kev's shirt up as her lips followed close behind to taste the newly exposed stomach.

[Ceraphine Davis]

As she laid there atop of Mischa, she felt a chill of excitement and desire course through her body. It was like a fire slowly spreading over every inch of her silken flesh, ignited by that fiery touch the other girl offered up so very very well.

Her scent, her touch, every single thing about her was intoxicating and oh so addicting, very addicting. She could not resist her, no matter how much her head told her this was wrong, no matter how much she knew she should turn away, she should distance herself, she was drawn back like a moth to a flame.

Yes, that was exactly what Mischa was, a fire. A beautiful, exotic, hypnotic fire and once Kevala let her icy gaze fall upon her, she could not turn away. Instead she dove head first into the flames and prayed each time that she could eternally get lost within them.

As they rolled, her back pushed into the soft mattress beneath her, her hair fanning out in long, soft curls over the pillow. She gazed up at those beautiful eyes she had looked into a million times before. That smile sparking a jump of excitement within her chest as her heart began to race faster than it previously had been.

It was torture, to lay there looking at that beautiful body atop her own, watching that shift be lifted away and tossed aside. It was almost too much, before she could help it her body shifted upon the bed, unable to remain stationary with such a sight before her. Silently begging for one touch, one single touch to send her into her heaven.

It was only a matter of moments, but it felt like eternity. Then, Mischa bent down, her scent engulfing Kevala's senses to the point that all she could do is close her eyes and grip the cover beneath her. Her heels digging into the bed harder and harder with ever single brush of soft lips to wanting flesh.

She was powerless in this moment, the girl that fought so hard to be strong, reduced to begging whimpers under the touch of the girl she loved so very much. A single word escaping in a hushed whisper upon the air between them, a plea, a declaration, a saving prayer............

"Mischa..."

[Mischa Badoer]

I don't want to do it...........

But it is you...

It played in her head... Her intentions of sleeping over were just to keep her company... and to keep herself away from being alone.. That and she just wanted to be able to have Kev in her arms like back in the day when everything was so much easier... But their passion always got in the way of innocent intimacies... don't get her wrong... she still liked it... but she wish that she could just have a relationship with the girl rather than playing games like they have been. It was confusing...deeply confusing. Though.. moral was no longer an option... because the only time Mischa showed selfishness... was with her Kev... and she won't stop what she was doing because she wanted her.

She removed Kev's shirt fully now... Her lips delicately caressed the sensitive skin of her chest before her tongue would flick out to have a taste... and to tease Kev.

"Mischa..."

Her brown eyes would shift to look up at Kev's face. Mischa looked back down to press her lips and her teeth to her skin... letting them drag up to her neck before she would nip and deliver a kiss to her ear as her soft voice whispered a similar plea.

"Baby..."

Her hands would slide down to where they needed to be as Mischa tugged on Kevala's lower lip with her teeth...

-Time skip-

It was morning... Mischa was behind Kevala... Their bodies were curled like two perfect bodies entwined. Her arm was wrapped around and her fingers were laced in with Kevala's and pressed to her stomach. Mischa's face was resting on the side of Kev's head... where her lips were near her ear. She would wake before the girl... but would be as still as an inanimate object so as not to disturb Kev in her sleep. She let the sent of her hair envelop her nose... her lips would graze behind Kev's ear as she released her hand and brushed some strands away from her face as gently as she could. It was rare to see Kev at a peaceful state... Mischa closed her eyes as she felt the burning sensation of tears blurring her vision. He pressed her lips to her neck just below her earlobe before pulling away and clenching her teeth and closing her lips tight. A tear broke free and trailed down her cheek. She pulled away from Kev in a sudden jerk... but making sure she didn't wake her... She got off the bed and hurried out the bedroom door after she slapped her hand over her mouth to try and muffle the sounds of a cry.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against the wall... sliding down as a pain in her chest throbbed with grief and the lump in her throat aching to be released. Her hand left her mouth... looking down at the finger that used to belong to a beautiful golden halo. Burying her face in between her knees and hugging her shins tight she let her sobs escape... it being to hard to hold in...

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Mischa was dressed and just got in the door from picking up some breakfast... she was hoping Kev wouldn't mind she left the house unlocked... she just didn't know the code.... but Mischa didn't know how to cook so she had to go buy breakfast... that and she really needed to get out of the house to get a hold of herself.... if Kevala was awake by then Mischa would show her the to-go containers with a smile... if Kev wasn't awake... she was getting breakfast in bed.