Twisted Hauntings ( Lucien/Open )

[Ceraphine Davis]

It was night, though not too late....she had a feeling if she was too late in crawling into bed with David that he may actually worry about her. Either way, she was out.......again. Only this time it was more just to get fresh air.

She supposed that if she went out at dark, when the rest of the world was supposed to be asleep, then things would be okay. Dressed in a tank top and jeans, with that jacket on, the one that read "Blaze" across the back, she slowly made her way through the city.

It was a deserted part of town, or at least it felt that way, and as such she felt safe keeping her head down and her eyes to the ground. With little hands stuffed into her pockets she paid little mind to what was around her.

She was lost in thought...Thought of what had been done to her, about David.......a lot of thoughts about David.....She could not help it...She was with him so much, spent so much time curled up against him, using him as her anchor to whatever sanity she had left in this world.

He was all she had left in this world..........or at least that is how her mind saw it......

Letting out a little sigh, she would continue along, her feet dragging along the pavement as she chewed softly on her lower lip. The only time her hand left her pocket was if she was checking the time on her watch.

Sure, she had a cell, and if David really wanted to talk to her he could call, but some part of her worried she may start to push him away by needing him so much.

gah!

Shaking her head to try and be rid of the thoughts she just continue on, her converse sneakers dragging against the cement as she did so.

Finally she would reach into her pocket and pull out her cellphone. She was still an avid photographer, just more in secret these days......So, she started to flip through the pictures she had taken with her phone......stopping on one she had of David and biting her lip as she did......

FUCK!!!

Not really looking ahead and suddenly running right into somebody, hard enough to send her phone to the ground at their feet and her back onto her ass.

She didnt even bother to look up, breathing grew heavy, that dirty feeling came over her, and she hurried to put the jacket to her nose, taking in that scent as she tried to calm down.....letting out a muffled apology in the process.

"I..I am sorry....."

[johndoe]

It was a dark and quiet night, like the few Lucien had experienced since his escape from the asylum. He was currently quite confused as to what he was going to do with his life. The real part of himself, Nathaniel, seemed to contradict himself at every turn, wanting to kill the girl known as Ceraphine and then telling her that he was still in love with her. He wasn't quite sure what time would bring the two of them, but she seemed to be able to handle Nathaniel's touch and so that was some progress at least. The two of them had a child together, so that meant that in a way Lucien was also a father. Sure, he wasn't even around for any of the times between the two of them, but he was still a part of Nathaniel. He would remain someone else entirely, living his own life the way he wanted and letting Nathaniel take control when he wanted to.

He had been walking down a dark alley, wearing a black zip up hoodie and a white tee shirt with a pair of navy blue jeans with rips in them and some black skate shoes. His hood was up over his head, and his hair was hanging down over his face, covering some of his face but leaving enough space to see and show generally what he looked like. He wanted to get some air and give Mischa a break from having to deal with him all the time. The only thing he had to defend himself was his skill and the switchblade that sat in his hoodie pocket. He would be ready for anyone that wanted to attack him, and with the noises he heard around the corner he was sure that he would come into some sort of conflict. Mischa wasn't around to see him, and so he didn't have to hold back at all.

Turning the corner, he saw a couple of guys giving a young woman a hassle and trying to take her purse from her. He took a couple of steps before his head began to hurt again. Clutching his head, he would close his eyes and wonder what was happening. 'Nathaniel, what are you doing?...' He was left with silence for a couple moments before he realized that he was now the one stuck in the darkness of their mind. "Sorry Lucien, but I need to get out some aggression before I go completely insane..." He would walk toward the conflict, his hands in his hoodie pockets and his head hanging down slightly hiding the grin that was on his face. These petty thugs had no idea what exactly they were going to get themselves into.

The woman started to scream as they started to try and take advantage of her, but this was all put to a halt as they all saw Nathaniel walk through the vapor that came from the hot water pipes below the city. The woman screamed for him to help her, and the two thugs let go of her to go and take care of what they saw as a minimal threat to their perfect night of robbery and rape. "You chose the wrong alley to wal..." The man was interrupted as Nathaniel's hands shot out to his head, pushing his fingers into his eye sockets and then snapping the man's neck. With a combined look of fear and surprise on his face, the other thug stood in shock as Nathaniel ran toward him with the switch blade, stabbing it into the mans heart and then twisting it as he let out a relaxed sigh. "Time to sleep... I am the only evil needed in this world..."

As he pulled the blade from the man's chest, he would take a couple steps back before falling to the ground and taking his last few breaths of life. Nathaniel would walk up to him, wiping his bloody knife on his shirt to clean it up before retracting it back into the handle and placing it in his pocket again. The girl, who seemed to be in just as much shock as the thugs were in before they died, stood there in ripped clothing shaking to grab her purse from the ground as Nathaniel made his way over to her. She started to shake as she took the pepper spray from her purse and pointed it at him. "Don't... Don't come a step closer... I'm warning you..." Nathaniel would walk up and past her, stopping behind her and letting out a laugh at her words. "A simple thank you would have been fine..."

With that said, he would exit the alley and turn around the corner, but unknown to him there was someone right there and the two of them ran full force into each other. He had knocked the small female to the ground and made her drop her phone at his feet. He was about to offer to help her up before that scent entered his nose once again. Then the voice came from from her lips, the same voice he knew all too well. It was Kevala, or Ceraphine as she changed her name to get over her own past. So, instead of helping her to her feet, he would pick up the cell phone at his feet and look at the screen. It was a picture of another male, someone he had not met, and upon closer observation he seemed to be wearing the same jacket that Ceraphine had been wearing last time, and this time as well.

"Its... fine..." He would put his hand with the cell phone down to give her phone back to her and offer to help her back up. "It was as much my fault as it was your own..." There were so many thoughts going through his head, and as he hid his eyes behind his hair he would wait for Ceraphine to grab her phone and possibly grab his hand for help. She had touched him before, told him that she loved him, but was it all a lie? Was she actually with the man in the picture, simply telling him that she loved him so that he would not harm Mischa? His thoughts were running around, causing his emotions to spike and his sadness and anger at himself for believing her words growing as he realized how stupid he was. He became the man she wanted and needed for a couple of seconds, and it was all for nothing...

[Ceraphine Davis]

She reached for the phone, quickly taking it back as she struggled to get the panic attack to go away, eyes falling over the picture and a sense of calm coming over her......She heard the guy speak, but it was not really all that clear through the muffled sounds of her mind.

Then as she saw a hand reach out for her, she whimpered.....it was not much, but it was there just the same.....It was only then that she looked up and saw who it was, those eyes giving it away instantly.....

Slowly......very very timidly she took his hand.....Letting him help her up despite the sick feeling it gave her in her stomach. Then came the feelings, the wash of his emotions and they made her duck her head and step back.

She did not know how to handle his feelings, because he had never let her that close. Now suddenly there they were....

"I...I thought you were gone......"

She quickly changed the photo on the screen and stuffed the phone back into her pocket, her hands coming up to push back the hood of her jacket to look at him with lavender hues, the wind blowing her long black strands into her face as she did so.

Biting her lip she would look at him with uncertainty and nervousness.....She did not know what to say, and she knew how he had reacted over Jack......when it had been nothing at the time.....But now this......If he had seen the picture of David.....

Fear gripped her and she felt the panic rising in her chest, barely able to breath as she reached out to place a palm against the cold brick wall beside her. Tears filling her eyes as without thinking she brought the jacket to her face, the sleeve pressed against her nose as she drew in a deep and heavy intake of that scent.

Slowly she seemed to calm, her entire body seeming to relax slightly as she bit her lower lip nervously and then returned to looking at him.......

Lucien......Nathaniel.........whoever he was anymore.....

"W..What are you doing here?"

It was an odd question, but one she asked just the same....Lowering that sleeve away from her delicate face she would let her tongue brush slowly over her lips, trying to hold his gaze though she was still so broken from the asylum.....not that he would see that.....see what they had done to her.....how they had destroyed her.......he would probably take it as something else....he always did...........

[johndoe]

He stood there, waiting for her to grab the phone and possibly his hand as all of those thoughts and emotions went through his mind. She was with another man... Someone had taken his place in her heart, and there was no getting it back... Sure, he may have Kevala's soul, and her love, but if she had truly been replaced with the young woman that sat before him than her feelings for him probably had as well. He wanted to just disappear... To go into the deepest, darkest depths of his mind and never come back. Things would never be the same... He had ruined everything in his life beyond the point of fixing, and so he just wanted to die. She could be happy with someone that was actually there for her, actually made her feel wanted and safe. He had never given that to her, and now it was too late to try.

She grabbed the phone from his hand quickly, looking at the photo and seeming to calm down upon seeing it. He must have been something special to him to be able to calm her with just a picture or his scent. He couldn't compete with a real relationship, and so he would just give up on trying. She seemed reluctant to grab his hand until she looked up to see who it was that she had bumped into in the first place. Once she saw who it was, seeing his emerald eyes that let her know that it was him and not Lucien, she slowly grabbed his hand and let him help her up off the ground. As soon as she was to her feet she would take a couple quick steps away from him, letting him know that she still didn't like to be touched by him. He was a monster. Why would anyone want to touch him, let alone the one person he hurt the most.

She told him that she thought that he was gone, and he simply shook his head disagreeing with her. "I'm not gone... Though I'm starting to wish I was..." He would look down as she changed the picture on her phone, an intense pain stabbing into his heart as he thought of her with another man. Kissing him, sleeping with him and just loving him... He had overreacted before, but all of the evidence in front of him seemed to scream out that he was too late to try and change for her. She pulled her hood off of her head, letting that raven hair he had pulled and smelt so many time before sway freely in the slight breeze that was going around them. She was always beautiful to him, and even if she changed he couldn't help feeling the same way he had. She was still the woman he loved, even if she had moved on.

She seemed to be panicking again, as she placed her hand against the brick wall beside them and started to breath heavily. She couldn't stand to be by him, she couldn't stand his touch and she couldn't even stand the sight of him. he would lower his head, hiding his face behind his own black locks as he help back the tears he knew his body wanted to let out. It was so hard for him to control the way his hidden emotions affected his body, but even though it hurt him more than anything he would keep them in check. Sure, she could feel what he was feeling, but as long as he stayed calm and everything on the outside it didn't matter to him. He saw that she lifted her jacket up to her nose, breathing in the man's scent and calming her down once again. At the sight of this a single stream of blood would fall down from his right eye, dripping to the ground.

He would wipe it away as quickly as he came with his sleeve, but the fact that he couldn't even hold it back told him that he was truly broken now. There was no going back to being the Nathaniel he once was. He was damaged goods now, something that no one would ever want again. At least Lucien had Mischa, something he could always be happy about. Nathaniel had his darkness, swallowing him more and more with every passing day. He should have been used to it, used to not being wanted by anyone, but it still killed him to finally realize the extent of how unwanted and unneeded he was. As she finally calmed down, she asked him what he was doing there. It was an odd, but simple question. Something to possibly keep him from bringing up the man the man in the picture.

He would turn away from her, some more bloody tears falling down his face as he faced the other way. He would wipe them away just after more drops hit the cement beneath him. "Lucien wanted to take a walk... I killed some thugs... Now I don't have a reason to be here anymore... Sorry for hurting you yet again..." He would take a couple steps away from her, before the woman he had saved came out from the alley and hugged him. His eyes widened as she help him tightly, tears running down her face. "Thank you... Thank you so much... You're a great man..." She would let go of him, looking over at Ceraphine and wiping away her own tears. "This man is a hero. Don't let his appearance fool you."

He couldn't believe the words that had come out of the young woman's mouth. She called him a great man, a hero even, and her choice of words seemed to hit home for him. Don't let his appearance fool you? It was like she knew he was a different man beneath the facade that he put up in front of everyone. Everything seemed to be happening as if all of these events had been planned. He had ran into the woman he loved twice in such a short time after escaping the clutches of the asylum, and everything that was being said seemed to be telling him he was better than he let himself believe he was. "All I did was kill two men..." The woman was long gone, but Ceraphine was still behind him. "I'm not a great man... I never was... and I never will be..."

[Ceraphine Davis]

She did not have to see his face, or even those eyes to know how he felt, he could not block her anymore and the pain he felt tore through her....

Then as he turned to leave the woman came out of nowhere, just as Ceraphine had taken a step in his direction. The appearance of the woman made her retreat, the threat of being touched too real.

She watched the scene unfold, heard the words the woman spoke, and as she hurried away, her own comment thrown toward CJ she would simply nod.

"I know......I always told him that....."

She kept her head down, and as she saw the bloodied tears hit the pavement she whimpered softly. Slowly she inched toward him, she knew what he must have thought, what he must have felt in seeing her actions, but she could only explain so much.

"His name is David.....Wh..When I was in the hospital.....and could not speak....everyone thought I tried to kill myself....He was the only one who believed me......and he found me....and saved me from that place....."

She gripped the jacket as she took yet another step forward, gathering her nerve with every step as she drew in a deep breath.

"He is the only one, who has been there....through it all....The nightmares, the fears.....the thoughts of those men, raping me, night after night.......Even Mischa could not stand me any longer and left me there to suffer in my own madness."

Finally she was close enough to slip around to stand before him. Her hands shaky as she tried to get the nerve to touch him, but at the same time wanted to stay calm.......

"I fear everyone Nathaniel.....Not just you....I get sick whenever another touches me.....I...Its like being in that place all over again....Those hands, brushing my hair from my face, telling me how pretty I was.....their breathing on me.....their sounds....."

She grabbed her stomach, stumbling back and slamming into a lamp post as tears streamed down her face.

"I barely manage to go out.......I live in darkness...."

She was not about to say that her only light was David, she did not need to add that, for it would only hurt him more.

"That lady was right........You are a good man....Y..You just never chose to be......Y..You wanted to hurt....to cause so much pain.......and to shut everyone out....to shut me out......."

She whimpered once more, lowering her head as a soft sob escaped her throat.....She tried to hold it back, but she could not. It was destroying her to say this to him, because she did love him....But how far could love carry one when both were so far gone.

"I tried so hard to reach you....but you spent more time with those other women than you did me.......I was....I was there.......and you could have had me any time you wished....but you desired them more......"

She figured why not let it all out, why not let the pain escape her that she had kept bottled up for so very long.......They were both hurt, but yet neither seemed to understand the other.....Now was as good a time as any...........

[johndoe]

Nathaniel stood there, watching as the young woman made her way away from him and Ceraphine, her words still lingering in the back of his mind as he tried to figure out why she thought he was a great man. He heard Ceraphine agree with her, saying that she always told him that he was a great man, but it didn't change anything for him. He was still a monster, the man that caused death and destruction to everyone and everything around him, even the one person that he had cared about the most. He had hurt her so much that she could barely stand being around him anymore, and there was no changing that fact. He would have to learn to be away from her, to live his life without her in it. He was no longer an important part of her, and so he was not important to anyone. As far as the rest of the world was concerned he was dead, so he would just keep it that way.

Ceraphine slowly got closer to him, stopping behind him to explain who the man was. He was David, and from seeing the back of the jacket before he could only guess his last name was Blaze. David Blaze, the man that took his place in her life as her new man... Even though Nathaniel was giving up he would still have to show David that he wouldn't just sit back and let him take her without a fight. Nathaniel would kill the man, or die trying, for making him look worse than he already had looked before. He was there to save her when Nathaniel wasn't, there to make her feel safe when he couldn't. He took advantage of someone who had been beaten and tortured until they were so weak mentally and physically that they could barely handle anything. Nathaniel knew all too well what that was like, but no one was going to take advantage of him like that.

He was actually glad that Mischa wasn't there when Kevala needed someone to be there for her, because than she would have just gotten back with her instead of going with this David guy. He had never even heard of him, and now he was the one that she felt safe with? The thoughts and images that ran around in his head made him clench his fists together as Ceraphine walked around him and stood before him. She told him that she feared everyone, but he knew that it was a lie. Sure, she may have not wanted people to touch her, and she probably didn't like to be out in public like this, but he knew that there was something more to it than that with him. They were in love once, and now she couldn't even stand to be around him? He wasn't there for her, yes, but for her to blame him for something he had no control over and not let him hold her... There had to me more to it.

She would stumble back, running into a street light, as she mentioned how the men in the asylum treated her. It must have made her sick to think about all of it, but it also made her sick to be around him. He didn't know what to do or say to try and make it better, to try and make her see that he would do anything to fix all of the mistakes he had made in the past. Maybe there was truly nothing he could do to make up for it all... She told him that she lived in darkness, but how could she know what living in darkness was like? She at least had control of her body. Nathaniel barely ever got to leave the darkness that was basically his prison. He lived in a never ending darkness. No light, no happiness, no love, just an abyss of his own sorrow, fear and hatred for himself.

She said that the woman was right about him, that he was truly a good man but he had never chosen to let himself be that man. He embraced his darker half instead, killing and hurting people in every way, and even locking out those that only wanted to get close to him. He knew who he was, what he had done, but she didn't understand that everything he did since leaving her was for her. He wanted to change, to be the man that she deserved, but all of it was a waste if she couldn't except the new him. She mentioned that he payed more attention to the other women in his life, but that was just a blind lie. Sure, he had enjoyed the company of other women, but she also spent so much time with other men. Everything she could say about him she had done as well, but it didn't matter to him anymore.

He would slowly back away from Ceraphine, his head hangin down as he unzipped his hoodie and pulled the hood from off of him head. He would slide the hoodie off of his body, taking the switch blade from the pocket before tossing the black hoodie at the brick wall beside him. Having the blade come out of the handle, he would look down at it, bloody tears running down his face as he started to cut up and down both of his arms. Blood would drip down to the cement below him as he cut through his white shirt, slashing his torso in random spots before stopping and holding the blade out to the side, lifting his head to look over at Ceraphine. "I deserve every once of pain in the world for not being the one that protected you... I can't help you anymore... The one reason I had for living anymore doesn't exist..."

He couldn't handle being the one that caused her so much pain anymore. She had David to be there for her now. She didn't need him at all anymore, nor did she ever need him. He was a mistake, just the man that had gotten her pregnant. He tried to make it work, in his own messed up way, but he knew from the beginning that he would fail. He was good at everything else in life except for being the man that a woman could trust and love. He knew this for so long, and yet he still tried to change. "I tried to change for you... I wanted to be that man you could feel safe with... The one that you knew loved you... No doubts... No fears... Such foolishness is not becoming of a Seran..." Holding the dagger above his his right shoulder he would get ready to plunge it into his heart. "Enjoy the love I could never give you... with David..." And with that he would bring the blade down toward his heart.

[Ceraphine Davis]

She listened......and in her mind she knew she had committed so many wrongs......just as he had....But she had been so alone....and no matter how much she tried, he just ......would not let her reach him.

Tears continuing to spill down her face, she let out a whimper at the sudden removal of his jacket, instinct making her take a step forward, even as she saw that knife....Then he began to cut into his arms, making her shake her head as she sobbed softly..

"N..Nathaniel stop it!"

His words, they made no sense. He had always been enough, he had just never wanted her.........he had left her and she did not blame him, she only wanted him to see why she was how she was at this moment.

How could he not see the damage they had done to her. He said he loved her so much, and yet he refused to wake up and see the reasoning behind why she was the way she was.

He was blind to her, and yet here she stood trying to desperately to understand him. She did not care what he looked like, she did not care how he behaved........He was Nathaniel deep down, the father of her child......But this....this was pushing so far....so hard....

It was as though with every slice of that blade he was driving the distance between them further and further apart. As she whimpered, her stomach growling at the sight of the blood, she covered her nose with the sleeve. No...she could not let that one weakness rule over her now.

She tried to think of what to do, of how to stop this, and as he spoke she shook her head.

"Nathaniel please! Dont you understand!? I do not blame you!"

He would not listen..........he never fucking listened! Then he raised the blade, a surge of emotions coming from him as he did so, and those words.......She knew all too well what he intended to do.

No.......No not like this......She was not about to let him take the easy way out because he was too upset to deal with his own emotions. She was not going to let him end his life over something like her........

Just as he swung the blade down, she was there, having darted forward and come up between him and the blade, so that when the sound of it piercing flesh was heard, the scent of blood filling the air between them.....It was not his, but her own......

Softly she whimpered.....instantly feeling that struggle to breath as she coughed and blood coated her chin and dripped down her neck....

Quickly the front of that jacket was becoming coated with blood, the red pool spreading outward from the knife as her small body became instantly weaker......

Another soft, gurgled whimper as she collapsed onto the cement.....those tears barely able to seep from the corners of her eyes as she fell to her side, her long black hair concealing her face as she laid there.......vision blurring.......no strength left to even move.....

[johndoe]

As he began cutting himself with his blade, he could see that it was affecting Ceraphine with every slash that he made into his own flesh. She told him to stop, but he wouldn't hear it. He was the cause of everything, whether or not she blamed him for the things that happened. If he would have just opened his eyes and his heart to her, if only he had stayed with her and given her the love that she needed, he could have stopped everything from happening. He would have been the one to go and help her, breaking her out from the hell she was imprisoned in instead of being stuck in his darkness. He had been more foolish in the short time he had spent loving her than he had been throughout the rest of his pathetic excuse for a life. Living everyday just to have sex and kill those that he saw as useless to the world.

The funny thing was that those people could have done something with their lives. They could have learned from their mistakes and turned everything around after what Nathaniel had done to them, but instead he ended all of their lives for his own pleasure. The cuts that he gave himself were for all of those people that died by his hands and didn't deserve their fate. Sure, some deserved to die, but there were far more innocents that he killed than people that actually deserved it. He was sure that Ceraphine knew the other reason he had for cutting himself. He was punishing himself for everything, even though she told him that she didn't blame him. It was something that he had to do to get on an equal mind set as her. He needed to feel the pain she felt... and even more.

He would end the life that should have ended at birth. Hell, if he was never even born everyone he affected with his presence would be that much safer and happier. He knew it was the truth. It killed him to think of his son growing up without a father, but Gabriel would be there to do what little he could to raise him. He wouldn't become the Seran that Nathaniel wanted him to become, but he would grow up with that male figure in his life. That's all that really mattered to him. Kevala, or Ceraphine as she liked being called now, would eventually get over her fears and memories, and when she did he knew that she would once again be a great mother to their son. His existence in his son's life, and in his loves, meant nothing in the big picture. As he faded from existence, so would what little memory he made in people's lives.

With every ounce of his being, he would bring that blade in his hands down toward his heart, hoping to finally end the life that had been ruined since the start. In slow motion he watched as the blade grew closer to his chest, but there was something else that caught his eye. Before the blade made it to puncture his flesh, he saw Ceraphine running to him as quickly as she could, putting herself against him and taking the stab to protect the man that was once the on who made her happy. He didn't have enough time to stop, no time to even react, as he pulled the blade from her body and caught her as she was falling to the ground. He would drop the blade, feeling the warmth of her blood on his hands as he put pressure on the deep wound. He was in shock as he could tell her breathing was getting more and more shallow.

"Why?... Why would you?... I'm not the one you want or need anymore..." He held her in his arms for a few seconds, his bloody tears shifting to the normal salty tears that he had held back for nearly his entire life. It took him basically killing the one he loved to finally open his eyes to the truth of the matter. There was nothing he could have done to be there in the state of mind he was in. It truly wasn't his fault, but because of everything she had been through she found more comfort in another arms than his own. It still hurt him to think about it, imagine it, but that was for a later time. He had to get her out of sight so that he could save her without others seeing him perform his talent. If people knew everything that he could do they would try to utilize his talents, just like the people at the asylum were trying to tap into.

He would life her up, one arm behind her back and the other below her knees after he picked up his sweatshirt to lay her head on when he needed to. Carrying her into the darkness of the alley, past the two dead thugs, he would turn around the corner and place her down chest first on the ground, placing his sweatshirt underneath her so she wasn't on the dirty pavement. He would take off the blood jacket with the name Blaze on it, clenching it in his fists before throwing it into the dumpster behind him. Then he would rip her tank top where the blade had pierced her body so that he had room to place his hands on her wound and the skin around it. As his hands laid on her bare flesh, he began to grunt and groan as her flesh slowly came back together like nothing had ever even happened.

She had lost a lot of blood, but he knew that she would be fine. Luckily it wasn't an extremely fatal wound, as he had brought her back from worse, but it still took a bit out of him to close the wound and fix the puncture in her lung. After he was done fixing the damage that he had once again done to the woman he loved, he would sit against the brick wall and bring her up to lay her back against his chest, covering them both up with his black hoodie. He would kiss the top her her head, stroking her hair lightly as he took in the mixture of vanilla, honey and blood that was in the air. "I... I don't know if you can hear me Kevala... but I am truly sorry for everything I've done to you..." Wrapping his arms around her he would let out another sigh. "I just hope you'll eventually let me be the one to hold you at night again..."

[Ceraphine Davis]

She was aware that she was lifted up, but just barely....As her eyes drifted from open to closed over and over again she would whimper out weakly...only to finally fall silent....As her mind slowly started to shut down, she would simply let it......breathing growing weaker and weaker.

Then, like once before, she felt that energy in her, fixing her, healing her....Though honestly, was the darkness, was the peace she felt such a bad thing to come back from?

No.....Not really.......

At least there she could not hurt anyone. There she did not feel so torn.....So useless.......She didn't feel like such a monster....Yet she really had no choice in the matter, and soon she was feeling the air once more fill her lungs....

She coughed lightly....Her entire body suddenly cold....Something was different.....something was wrong......But before she could really register what it was.....she was again moved..This time pulled from her resting position and laid back against something....no...somebody warm.....

She whimpered once more, felt a hand stroking her hair.....Suddenly that fear crippled her....She was not back there...She could not be back there......Images of those men...their hands, their breath......Suddenly she started to tremble, almost uncontrollably as she tried to move but was too weak to do so....

It was happening all over again....Then hit that sudden pain....the one in her stomach.....her hunger......Tears broke free and rolled down her cheeks just as those words caught her ear.

Nathaniel.............

The image of him entered her mind....The him that he was now...the one who had tried to end his own life....

Another stab of pain.....and though she was still in a state of panic due to the position she was in, the hand stroking her hair, the images in her mind....She tried to raise her arm.....

It was only when it got close to her face, a task that took a lot of effort, that she realized something......that scent...the one that surrounded her......It was not David's......

She whimpered louder.....that trembling only increasing as she tried to calm down, but it was impossible....Her lungs seemed to seize up....fear gripped her.......Yet so did that hunger....

She had done so well to hold it back, to feed only on her own and only when away from everyone...Nobody knew.....But god she was so hungry....

Her bare arm pressed to her lips....trying to bite down into her flesh....yet she was too weak......and too gripped with panic and fear.....The note of her bare flesh only increased this........His jacket...it was gone....

So many thoughts......

Why had Nathaniel saved her? Why was she here now, like this? Where was her jacket? Where was that scent...the one she needed to stay sane?

Limply her arm fell away from her mouth, too tired and weak to even bother trying any longer...instead she let the pain take over, let the spreading fire in her body start to make her tense up and whimper as she instinctively tried to curl up......

She couldn't....her body was too weak, and though she tried to speak that just took too much effort......She wanted home...she wanted bed......she wanted that scent.....She wanted to eat.....

Her head finally turning slightly she would tilt it back and forth as she bit her lower lip softly.....tears rolling down her face and dripping off of her......

Those thoughts....they would not go away.....that pain.....it just would not stop.......

[johndoe]

As he held her in his arms, he began to feel her slowly come back to life, her breathing getting stronger and her body going from cold to slightly warmer. He was glad that he could at least fix the mistake of accidentally stabbing her, even though he was sure the rest of the things that needed fixing may have been far too damaged to ever mend. Physically pain and damage was far easier to heal than emotional and mental damage, and he knew he had caused a lot more of that kind than physical. He had put her through knowing that he was always with other women, making her think that he cared more for himself and the other women than he did her. This was far from the truth, but the old Nathaniel wasn't one to show how he truly felt. Everything he did was his way of protecting himself from being hurt, when in the end it did just that.

After a few moment of holding her in his arms and stroking her hair, he could feel that panic spread through her body as she began to shake uncontrollably. He figured it was just the memories of the things she had gone through entering her mind in her weakened state, but he also knew that she didn't find comfort with him either. It didn't matter what they had before they both changed, she only found comfort in the arms of another. The man whose jacket she had been wearing both times he had seen her. The jacket that he had thrown into the dumpster because of the hatred he felt for it. Was he actually jealous of another man being with the woman he loved? He had been before, even if he wasn't one to admit it. He wanted to be with her, only her, but that couldn't happen.

Her shaking only increased as time went by. He would hold her tighter as he kissed her head. "Its me Kevala... I won't hurt you... I won't leave you all alone... I... I love you..." He knew that his words would not make a difference to her in the state of mind she was currently in, but it made him feel a little better to get them out. He truly cared about her and what she was going through, even if it was too late for him to actually be caring about her. He had his chance to care... He had his chance to love her... All he could do was try and get her to feel better as she recovered from the loss of blood and then he would leave her to go back to the new man in her life. She could feel safe with him. She could escape the darkness when he was around, and even when he wasn't as long as she had some sort of reminder of him.

She tried to struggle out of his embrace, but she was too weak to escape. More tears fell down his face as he realized what she was trying to do. She didn't want to be with him, he knew this, but in her state she needed someone to keep her warm until she was better. Then he noticed that she brought her arm up to her mouth, trying to bite into her own flesh. It took him a few moments for it to register, but then it hit him like a truck. All of those memories rushing into his mind. The nights that they had spent with each other, feeding on each other's blood as their more primal instincts came out. It was something that they both enjoyed, but he knew that there was a part of her that needed that taste. He thought that maybe she had gotten over it since she wasn't with him and she hid it from everyone else, but it seemed like he was wrong.

"Kevala... I... I'm going to bring my arm up for you... Don't be scared... You know I won't judge you for this... My body is yours to do with as you will..." He would slowing bring his arm up to her lips, a deep gash sitting right in front of her mouth. He knew that the scent would drive her crazy, but if she didn't want his blood he wasn't going to force it upon her. He knew that she didn't enjoy his touch, so there was a chance that she only drank certain people's blood. Sure, his was already in her system, and plenty of it, but times change and so did people with the times. He only wanted to help her, to make her feel at least a little more comfortable with him. Maybe it would all be for nothing, but he wouldn't know until he tried. "Its yours if you want it..."

[Ceraphine Davis]

She heard those words, and instead of making her happy like they should have, like they once would have, the broke her heart. Now....now that she was finally starting to get herself together..now that she had let herself try to move on....now that she was around somebody who made her feel safe.....he wanted to say he loved her? Now he wanted to hold her, to care for her?

Why could he not have loved her from the start...? The way she had loved him.....It tore her apart, but she could do nothing to change it. She could not help that she had feelings for another, even if that other had no clue....She could not help that it was him that made her feel safe, that made her feel secure and warm......

No matter how much she may have wanted to change it.... She just couldn't....not right now.

Then he spoke to her again, all the while his own pain assaulting her in deep, heavy waves. She hated hurting him, but a part of her could only think of all the times she had gone home......alone...only to know he was with somebody else. Why did he think she had gone with Jack? Nothing more than somebody to try and fill the emptiness he left inside her....Only later had it turned into more.....when Nathaniel had up and vanished on her.......

Another wave of pain....her body shaking so heavily now that her teeth were chattering. Yes, she knew it was him, and she knew that physically, at least for now, he would not hurt her.....Yet emotionally, she did not know.....God how she wished she could have faith that he would not tear her apart over and over again.

It was just too much for her right now....Though she doubted he would see that.......Then she felt his arm shifting, instinct making her want to flinch away, and yet that scent drawing ever closer, the scent of blood, making her stay put.

God it was so familiar.....that smell.....as she felt it at her lips, she heard his words, however distant they may have seemed, just as her let her tongue brush over that wound...That blood sending a jolt down her spine.....Causing her teeth to sink into the flesh around that wound now.....

She could not help it, drinking down that blood she had tasted so many times in long deep drags.....Feeling that pain start to slowly fade away.....Her hand coming up on instinct to hold his arm to her lips.

As a bit of his blood escaped her mouth, trickling down from the corner of her lips to her chin she would whimper softly. She had always hated her addiction, but she could not help it.....She was so hungry right now....and despite all the pain each had caused the other, she had fed from him so many times that it was almost natural for her......

[johndoe]

So there they sat, Nathaniel with his bloody arm in front of his loves mouth, seeing if she would take his blood like she had so many time before. There was so much of his blood coursing through her body that he always knew where she was, but beyond that there was no other reason for him to feed her other than to simply calm her down. She had enjoyed drinking his blood so much in the past, and he knew that he was the one that had brought back her addiction. It was one of the few things that he could give her that most others would not. They judged her, thought she was a freak because of how much she craved it, but Nathaniel was different. He was never one to think less of her for it, in fact he embraced her need for it. He too enjoyed the crimson liquid, and so it brought them that much closer.

After waiting for a couple seconds, the blood dripping down his arm and onto the already blood covered black hoodie, she finally brought it to her mouth. She licked his wound gently, but only for a second, before that urge for his blood took over and she sunk her teeth deep into his flesh. Pain was always something that he seemed to enjoy, whether it was during sex or just in everyday life, and he had both taken and given pain to Kevala in the past. When they made love, it was not your average night of sex. Blood, wine and lust had been their life together, and amongst it all a child was created. This child was the one thing that brought the two back together and showed them that they were meant to be together. Nathaniel still believed this, but things just didn't seem to be going how he believed they should have.

As more and more of his blood went down her throat and began to make its way through her circulatory system, flashes of memories and thoughts seemed to hit him like lightning bolts. They came quickly, but as soon as they arrived they were gone. He wasn't quite sure what to make of all of the things that were now running through his mind, but the more blood Kevala consumed the clearer these memories and thoughts became. The thoughts seemed to be hers, whether current or from the past, they echoed in his mind as if she were actually speaking. David was her only light, the only thing that she felt safe around, and she even had feelings for him? His body would shutter at the words as she continued to drink from his open wound.

It wasn't quite clear as to what was happening, so he could only guess that with the increased amount of blood that was in her system there was an increase in the connection that he had with her. The thoughts and memories would only be temporary, he knew that, but he wondered what new things he could sense from within her once it was all said and done. More thoughts would hit him, these ones now about himself. She was still in love with him, but she was confused with what to do about her feelings for him. She didn't think that he ever cared, and she was scared to be around him because of everything she had gone through in the asylum. Her thoughts seemed to be so conflicting, and the memories of her sleeping with David and himself seemed to mesh together like one in his mind.

As the painful thoughts and memories from Kevala tossed and turned in his own mind, he began remembering things that he never even remembered. A man with the face he currently had, a confrontation, a blinding light and then complete nothing. At first it didn't make any sense to him, but as the seconds passed the picture became clear. And as all of the memories he had lost came back to his mind his entire body began to heat up and shift. His bones started cracking and popping as she continued to drink his blood, his entire body changing before his eyes, but the pain in his face was so strong that his eyes became blurry. Finally, it all seemed to come to a stop, a few more cracks and pops here and there as he finally opened his eyes again. He couldn't see himself, but he knew exactly what had happened.

His body had reverted back to its original form after remembering everything that had happened to get him into the form he was in only moments before. Along with his body, his mind was now once again his own, and he could lock away his feelings from Kevala if he wanted to. He would do this for a few seconds, giving her a hint as to what had happened, before letting his guard down again. She would feel that he was hurt, but at the same time understanding. Pulling his arm away from her mouth, his wounds would close up as quickly as they were made and he would go back to gently holding her in his arms. "I do hope that my blood was satisfactory, though you were never one to complain about it before. If only others could feed you like I can. Than you wouldn't have to even deal with me." A light laugh would escape his lips as he looked down at the back of her head with a smile.

[Ceraphine Davis]

That blood, it hit her so hard, she could always feel his blood as it made its way through her body. She knew it had something to do with his ability, or perhaps something they had shared, and she honestly had been to the point of being addicted to it before she had left when she found out she was pregnant with Ezekial.

It probably would have happened again, when they were back together, but he had never given her that much of his time. She had understood he was busy with his club, but she could not help but think of all the other times, he could have been with her, in her bed, or in her home just spending time with his family. But she had been foolish to think that she of all people could ever really have a family, could ever reach him in the darkness he surrounded himself by.

He had said he loved her, but he had never let her in. He spent more time with those women, the ones much more beautiful than her, the ones much more appealing in every way. She had no longer been his lustful lover in his eyes, she had changed by giving birth to his son....at least that was how her mind saw it. No longer was she capable of turning his head the way those girls could, and many a night she had sat home, crying in her room and wishing he would just love her....truly love her......

She had done the same, by sleeping with Jack, but it had been one man, and it had been after so many nights of laying awake and knowing that Nathaniel was in his club, eying some girl, flirting and giving her that oh so charming smile.....Thoughts of him taking her, the passion he should have had for Kev lost on some cheap whore he would not even remember the name of, if he even bothered to get it in the first place.

He had been somebody to fill that void, that emptiness that was left by her breaking heart.....She had taken his blood, because the one man who's blood she wanted, hell needed.....was too busy elsewhere to give her a second thought. If he only knew how long she had gone hungry waiting for him, because he was the only one she had ever wanted to feed off of. If she had told him, that honestly, she had pushed herself to a point of near death time and time again just because his blood was the only that could satisfy her, he would have thought her needy, may have pushed her away more.....so she had kept it to herself.....Because she tried so hard to hold onto him in the smallest ways he would allow her to do so.

She hid from him the way she wanted so desperately to act with him, hid away the way that she wore glasses and pig tails sometimes....How she looked so common most nights....Because she was already not enough, even at her best for him.....if he had seen that, he would have turned away from her completely.

All these thoughts flooded her mind, no room for any others, of anything else.....It was him.....flowing through her brain...she knew that feeling.....His blood, not only fed her hunger, but it consumed her being. He really did have hold of her soul, she could feel it every time she drank from him.....but again, never had she been given the chance to show it....to prove to him.....

But even as those thoughts flooded her mind, she felt something in him shift, literally....the sounds his body made, the way it shuddered and moved under against her...She should have stopped, she knew that...But she was so hungry, so very very hungry.......then it happened.......it was like he was literally inside her head. His thoughts, memories....they hit her..making her teeth sink into his flesh all the more as she whimpered, unsure what to do with this feeling....these thoughts, but desperate not to let go. Deep down she just knew it would be the last time she tasted his blood......something was changing in him.......

Yet there they were, thoughts of her, of their son....Thoughts his own hatred of himself, of David......Memories of being with her, of touching her......and then memories of those other women.....nameless faces in instantaneous flashes through her mind.

Without even knowing it, tears began to slide from the corner of her eyes.....dripping onto his arm as she drank, only to feel him finally pull away.

She tried to hold it back, especially after she felt his emotions disappear, blocking her out, and then come back, full of pain and understanding, but a whimper escaped her just the same. She was still hungry but she knew she had to stop.....She knew Nathaniel was back......No need to turn to verify it.

Instead she would lower her head, blood coated lips trembling as she drew her knees to her chest, those thoughts and images her mind had created to go along with them continuing to bounce around her mind.

"W...Why can't you see it Nathaniel? How can a man so smart not see what was always right before his eyes?"

She spoke not only of her love for him, but of the fact that from that first night in Gabriel's home when they had met, it had been only his blood that could truly satisfy her....Why didnt he see how much she needed him?

"I...I am sorry that I was never enough. Never pretty enough, or smart enough, whatever it was they had I did not. I am sorry. I tried so hard. I really did.....I starved myself, for so many many nights...because......only your......"

She shook her head, hiding her tear soaked face and bloodshot lavender eyes from him as she shut up.......No point in telling him how much she needed it.....it would make no matter......Nothing ever had before.....no amount of love or need could reach him and he would possibly just view it as some chemical reaction and some petty form of using him anyways.....he would never see the deeper meaning.....He refused to see deeper into her than that.....

"Thank you Nathaniel...."

It was all she could say......huddling there in that alleyway, no longer trying to pull away from him, or even trembling against him.....Though again, she doubted he would see the deeper meaning behind it.......