How Memories Draw Upon Us (Jack/Open)

[Ceraphine Davis]

It was late, probably later than she should have been out, and needless to say she honestly did not want to be out. Yet something had woken her from her sleep, a dream, about a time before.....before she had become who she was today. Slowly sitting up in bed as not to disturb David she would bite her lower lip slightly, drawing her knees to her chest as she sat there, trying to shake this feeling that ate its way through her mind. Yet no matter how much she tried, it continued to eat away at her.

Finally, unable to stand it, she had slipped silently out of bed, moving over to the closet and grabbing out a pair of jeans and his jacket, the one which read "Blaze" across the back that she loved so very much. Holding it to her nose she would smile, he had worn it again recently and now his scent was upon it stronger than ever.

Slipping it on over her tank top she had worn to bed, the act of doing such having become a bit more easy so long as it was just the two of them in the house, she would then pull on her jeans and reach down to grab her shoes.

Tip-toeing out of the room, she slowly shut the door and then moved to sit at the dining room table, sliding her feet into those sneakers as she reached for the little pad and pen she kept there in case for some reason she ever had to leave him a note.

David, I had this dream, I don't understand why but I just, I have to go to the school. It is late, so I should be fine. I will be back soon. Sorry, I did not want to wake you.

<3 C.J

She looked at it and smiled, it was the only time these days that she ever had a genuine smile on her face, not that she really knew that. Shaking her head, she would simply place the note in the usual spot he was sure to see if he woke...last thing she needed was for him to wake up and freak if she was not there and there was no note...

------Later That Night----

The school was empty, looming there like some monster buried within her mind. She could not place it, she knew she had gone to school here, she knew of the times she had...but yet, there was something missing. That connection. She could remember things, but sometimes the connections they held in her mind got tangled and lost along the way and it left her with confusion and a bit of uncertainty.

She knew that she had been captain of this school, strong....and that she had walked away....but why and when were lost to her at the moment.

As she made her way around the courtyard, she felt another sense of pulling, like she was being drawn not to this school in general but to one spot......

It took her awhile of wandering about to find it, but there it was.....Slowly she zipped up the front of her jacket and slung the hood back over her head, concealing her features mostly from view due to the size of the jacket she wore. Yeah it didnt take a scientist to figure out who the jacket really belonged to.....the name so boldly printed upon the back and all.

Silent footsteps carried her into the area that seemed to come to mind as the quad, it was nice here, and as she seemed to try and relax, she would let out a breathy little sigh. This had been a good place for her, she could tell that, yet something seemed to be missing.

She simply chalked that up to her lack of connections in her mind and continued to wander about the small area, content with having found the spot she had been so desperately seeking since she woke up earlier that night.

[Jack]

Jack sat there, on the same bench he and Kevala had made up, the bench he and Kevala had spent their lunch times together. The familiar weight of her frame sitting in his lap, the way she looked at him, the way she could make or crush him with simple words.

Cigarette in mouth he sat with his back against the concrete bench. Starring up at the stars in awe and wonder at their power, they were so beautiful tonight, his ear buds in his ear as the song drowned out any noise made by anyone who was still at school this late.

He suddenly felt like he was being watched, he was always being watched these days. She was always watching him, he sighed, he was going insane, the doctor's told him that this was a common side effect for someone who was going through a traumatic experience such as losing a close friend or partner.

They lied to him and told him that it's common, that it happens all the time, that it's okay that many people remind him of the person he's lost. That all that's happening is his brain trying to lessen the pain by tricking him into believing she's still alive.

He didn't believe the doctor at first but then she was there and gone, everyday when he woke up, when he went to sleep, when he went to training. She was there pushing him, yelling at him to keep going and then they came when she was gone, when he was alone. They haunted him, they tormented him, he'd wake up, yelling, sweating, the imagery of her burning to death etched in his brain.

Throwing shit at his hallucinations, alarm clocks, phones, I-pads anything he could get a hold of. And now here they were, no place was he free from them, no place could he ever shake them off. For what does one do when the enemy can always find you? His eyes glanced over the girl who stood there, he didn't recognized her, her face was hidden from him yet she was undoubtedly a girl. These demons of his took on many forms, so he sat up as he looked at her.

"We live a life of fear, we continuously build walls and psychological barriers against potential enemies. Yet what happens where the enemy is on the inside? How does one defeat such fiends? What do you want from me demon? Will I never be rid of you, isn't it bad enough you plague me in my sleep and in my imagination. Must you haunt me in reality as well?"

Jack would run his hands through his hair pulling on it hard as if he were waking himself up, he would spin on the table and leave. As he walked down the hall way he looked out side a window, there stood a shadow, it looked like the same girl but different, somewhat distorted. He was drawn to it and finally he found himself in front of his locker. Laughing to himself. "Even in death you look after me" he hadn't collected his books to do his homework. Jack sighed as he closed his locker, in the metal work of the door he saw Kevala face. Hitting it hard he growled at the demon, "begone!". Then Kevala's eyes moved, pointing toward the roof, there he saw another girl standing on the edge, it was Kevala.

"No!"

Jack ran toward the entrance to the roof, up the stairs the legs he was so proud of pushing himself all the way up to the top. He stood there his chest puffing, his eyes wide and filled with worry. The image of Kevala looked at him, those icy blue eyes turned different colors, her hair changed colors. Before it finally turned to blond. "don't do it!" he pleaded "I win!" the demon would snarl in response, it looked like kevala but it wasn't. As she began to step off the edge, Jack began running for the fake Kevala, the adrenaline taking him to faster speeds then he had ever gone.

When he was within reach he dived for her, sliding along the ground, the rough concrete surface tearing his clothes and ripping his skin off. His hand stretched out for the girl yet when he went to grab her it passed straight through. He had over shot his dive, falling of the edge and to his probable death, his hand launched out grabbing onto the ledge at the last second as he looked down at the empty courtyard of the school.

"KEVALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jack screamed out into the emptiness.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Ceraphine had thought she found some peace, in finding this place, in settling that unnerving feeling she had when she had woken up. She should have just woken up David and talked to him about it, but honestly he did so much for her that she did not want to burden him with such trivial matters. He could not look out for her forever.

So, as that feeling came, she simply followed it, letting it lead her out of the quad and into the courtyard, her feet slowly dragging along as she nibbled upon the lower corner of her lips. With a soft little sigh, she would finally come to a stop, those eyes going up to the sky as she wondered when everything would fit or better yet, if it ever would.

Just then the image of somebody on the roof, seeming to grab at something or somebody that was not there came into her vision, making her head tilt back a bit further.

A flood of confusion, pain, so much pain filled her senses and at the same time, it was familiar......she knew that emotional track, and yet as she tried to place it, she could not.

Bu then came the scream, the pained cry of somebody who had just lost it. The bad part was, the name this man screamed, it was her......the girl who had died in the Asylum the day Ceraphine had been born......It tugged at her heart, something there telling her that this was painful to witness, and yet she could not figure out why.

Through the darkness, lavender eyes continued to watch, the hood of her jacket sliding back slightly as she waited, unsure of what to do.

Instinct told her to go up to where this man was, try and omfort him....yet that fear and panic she got at the thought of being around somebody who was so disturbed, all alone...without David here, terrified her....

Her heart began to race and though she thought the least she could do was call out to him, she found the words lodged in her throat, breathing growing harder and that tightness in her chest.

Another panic attack, and this one had hit out of nowhere. Struggling to catch her breath she raised the jacket to her nose, breathing in the familiar and welcoming scent of David and feeling a flood of peace wash through her.

She wanted to go home, crawl silently back into bed with him and wrap her small body about his. How he managed her annoyance night after night she was not sure, but somehow he did, and that only added to the emotions she held for him. But it was fine, she was sure that he would never even notice she was gone, which was good, the thought of making him worry, if he even did such, bothered her.

Still even as her desire told her to go home, something else tol her to stay put. Those eyes ever watching of the man calling out that name.

OF course she did not respond, but she could feel that the pain in his voice was for that which had been lost.......her......So she stayed, wondering what to do and not about to respond to the calling out of her name.

She did not want anyone to know who she really was, David knew, as did Mischa....and that was it....that was all that needed to know. Kevala did no good in her existence and Ceraphine refused to replay that act in her own life.

Finally she released the jacket from her grip, letting it fall as she watched the man with a single foot extended back just enough to allow her the ease of running home if the need took hold strong enough.

Slowly she moved to take a seat upon one of the stone benches that lined the area, more so sitting upon the table and her feet on the bench than anything else, with her hood drawn, it was hard to see her eyes, but instead simply long flowing black locks that spilled forth from it and and down her chest.

She did not know where this would lead....perhaps he would leave and she would feel more at ease in the silence of being alone with those forgotten memories....

Memories she struggled to piece together as she watched him, wanting desperately to know what connection she had to this guy and why her name pained him so much to shout outward into the silent night air.