Post by Ceraphine Davis on Jul 24, 2010 19:23:20 GMT -5
She had gone with them. Only because he said he was the one she had been writing about. The name. “David”. Plus that girl was there, the one who had come to see her. Or at least she thought she had. She could not remember. In fact, not much was remembered about her leaving that place only that soon enough she ended up somebody’s home. From what they had told her, it was David’s, and that in itself held a bit of security in it, and put a little ease into her.
Yet once inside, she had not been so sure about what to do. It was like she knew, yet at the same time, she did not. It was like a distant thought, buried somewhere in the back of her mind, but no matter how hard she tried to reach it, she could not. So she had kept her head down, her hands not wishing to release the bear or the journal. They were all she knew, all she had known in some time.
How long had it been?
In her mind, it was almost as though she had been there her entire life. As though she had never known anything else, yet she knew, deep down that was not the truth, there had been a time where she was normal. Well her version of normal. But how normal could she have been to have ended up in a place like that? She had to have been bad. She had to have done something wrong. Or maybe the way she was now, was the way she had always been, just not as sedated and docile. If that was the case. If she truly was that bad. Had leaving the place been a good idea?
They spoke to her, she was sure, but at the time, she did not hear them, she simply existed there, trapped within her own mind, lost in the thoughts that trudged through her mind. They talked amongst themselves, she was sure of that to, but honestly, she paid no mind. She simply found a spot, away from them, from everything and sat down, curling up as she had grown so used to doing, and remained there, alone in her own silence.
At least for as long as she was allowed to. But soon enough the girl, the one who’s name she knew but could not bring to the forefront of her memory at the moment came over. Always with the soft words, always with the gentle touches, ones Kevala tried so hard not to shy away from. But it was so hard. The normal connections in her mind, that should have there, were lacking and only a few really stayed strong. So, she had to force herself to try and remain calm.
Yet then came the whole, mention of a bath. Something that in truth she feared greatly. It had meant such bad things for her in that place. Such very bad things, and though she felt like she was safe, she was unsure. Eyes constantly lifting to seek out David, making sure he was still there, because in her head, he was safe and if he was there then bad stuff could not happen anymore.
Finally, with much coaxing, she got into the bath, though when the journal and bear had been pried from her hands, to which she had whimpered and tried to get them back, she was put into the shower. She had braced herself, the water at the asylum had always been so cold, everything there was cold and empty. But when a warm spray fell across her pale, bruised flesh, she felt almost relaxed. Yet until she got her things back, she was not going to be very calm at all.
Needless to say the bath had been….a bit tough. Not so much for Kev but perhaps for the girl. Mischa….The name was there, now, be it because she had heard it throughout her time with the two or some part of her memory letting it free, she now could put a name with the face. But either way, yes it had been tough, because she had to assist Kev and the hands touching her had not been very welcome, though she did considerably well considering the way she would have normally reacted to anyone else. Which to them may have been good. To her it was really not that certain if it was or not.
But either way, she finally was done, and had a towel wrapped snuggly about her. Her hair, for once smelling clean and pretty, enough so that she actually lifted a strand to her face and buried her nose against it for a moment. Yet, she wanted her stuff and again had tried to get it, but again Mischa had stopped her. Sure, it was for the sake of getting her dressed, but that was not comforting to Kev. She wanted her things and she was not going to be at ease until she had them.
But she had to wait, and wait she did, whimpering impatiently and biting her lip as she was given the clothes to put on. Some of what she claimed were Kev’s clothes were handed to her, but all that Kev would even consider wearing was the underwear and the small pair of shorts that barely fit. They were almost too big for her given the amount of weight she had lost. Yet the tank top, apparently the one thing she had the most of, was a definite no go. Just looking at it made her feel uncomfortable, so she had pushed it back into Mischa’s hands and shook her head. Still unsure enough not to speak.
With that Mischa left the bathroom, which gave Kev the prime chance to snatch up her things again, hugging them close and burying her nose into the bear as she breathed in that familiar scent that she could not place but that seemed to comfort her. Though it was then that she opened her eyes and spotted herself in a mirror. The one thing she had not had the luxury of since before her time being placed in that horrid asylum.
Nearing the glass, she had studied her features in the glass, the way her eyes were so pale they were white, the way her skin was lacking in any color and the dark bruises that were on her jaw and her shoulders. A small shaky hand came forth, slowly tracing the image in the glass as she bit her lip. Was that really her? She thought, in her head, of a girl that looked so different than this, that had been darker of skin and who’s eyes had been bright and shimmering with life…not dull and lifeless.
It was only then that she actually looked at her arms, the bruises, the marks left behind from the straps they had used at night on her wrists, the puncture wounds of the needles. All of it was, unsettling and tears filled her eyes. She became lost in the sight of herself, the way she was, knowing somewhere inside that it was not right. She was not supposed to look this way.
Then the door opened again and she spun around, her back hitting against the sink as she felt her heart race and her breath quicken. Not one to be snuck up on, though honestly that had not been the case, even if it seemed as such in her head. Yet when she saw who it was, she calmed, though it took a moment for her breathing to return to normal.
Then, with more soft words and gentle touches to try and sooth her, another shirt was held out to her. This one much bigger. Mischa explained she had, had to borrow one of David’s shirts and that made Kev a little more inclined to take it. Though, the problem remained……she had to put her stuff down to put it on. For some it would not have been that big a decision, but for her it had been almost torture. Yet in the end, the ideal of wearing a towel had persuaded her into putting down the bear and book and taking the shirt.
Reluctantly she lowered the towel and slipped the shirt on, one that was large enough to extend down to just above her knees. It felt comfortable, and she felt better, even if it was only a little. Grabbing back her things then, she let Mischa brush her hair and other such things, before they finally left the bathroom.
The rest of the evening was pretty much a blur to Kev. She remembered them trying to get her to eat and her not wanting to. The drugs, and the fact the food at the asylum had been so horrible making her inclined to rather starve than put it in her mouth. She also remembered the constant soft touches from Mischa and the constant checking of her eyes to make sure David was still there.
She could not help it. That was the only connection her mind had kept through all she had been through. The words he had spoken, the belief he had in her when everyone else thought she had hurt herself again. It had stuck.
Other than that, her last memory before the real nightmare began was being put to bed…
She had tried to sleep, the ideal of doing such without being first stuck with a needle was nice at best, yet as the darkness settled in, the sounds came. No sounds from the place she was in, but sounds from her mind. The sounds of the place she had been in. The screams, the cries for help. Yet she was still able to try and get some rest, though inside her heart was steadily increasing. With eyes closed she tried to remind herself it was okay, that she had gotten out, that there were no monsters in white going to come and get her. But then, at some point, how long into the night she was not sure, she heard it. The sound of the doors. That iron clang of them being opened, the jingling of keys and that was when the true panic sank in.
She shot up in bed, her breathing heavy and her heart racing as she held to her teddy bear tightly. Not bothering with the journal which she had become used to hiding at night to keep safe. There was nothing but silence……and perhaps that was the most unsettling thing of all. Her lower lip quivering just slightly, she got up, bare feet silently tracking across the floor. Kevala had always been able to be silent when she wanted to be, and right now was one such case, and though she had lost a lot, she had not lost her sense of observation as to her surroundings. She had learned quick where things were, and she used that little skill now.
Slowly creeping through the home, trying not to make noise as she found the door she was looking for and slowly pushed it open. David’s room…..Now it is not clear if he woke before or after she did such, but whatever the case was, she had stood there, biting her lip nervously and hugging that bear as she wiggled her foot nervously back and forth upon the floor, finally daring to speak up.
”C..Can I…I sleep with you? Where…..it..its safe?”
If permitted, her small form would crawl into the bed beside him, at first simply curling up and offering up a meek thank you. Though, it did not take long before she was wiggled up against him, her small form buried against his much larger, warmer one as she hid her face and drew in the scent of him. For some reason, that alone brought her peace and allowed her to relax, finally allowed her to sleep.
For the time being at least….no telling what the rest of the night, or the nights to come might hold……
Yet once inside, she had not been so sure about what to do. It was like she knew, yet at the same time, she did not. It was like a distant thought, buried somewhere in the back of her mind, but no matter how hard she tried to reach it, she could not. So she had kept her head down, her hands not wishing to release the bear or the journal. They were all she knew, all she had known in some time.
How long had it been?
In her mind, it was almost as though she had been there her entire life. As though she had never known anything else, yet she knew, deep down that was not the truth, there had been a time where she was normal. Well her version of normal. But how normal could she have been to have ended up in a place like that? She had to have been bad. She had to have done something wrong. Or maybe the way she was now, was the way she had always been, just not as sedated and docile. If that was the case. If she truly was that bad. Had leaving the place been a good idea?
They spoke to her, she was sure, but at the time, she did not hear them, she simply existed there, trapped within her own mind, lost in the thoughts that trudged through her mind. They talked amongst themselves, she was sure of that to, but honestly, she paid no mind. She simply found a spot, away from them, from everything and sat down, curling up as she had grown so used to doing, and remained there, alone in her own silence.
At least for as long as she was allowed to. But soon enough the girl, the one who’s name she knew but could not bring to the forefront of her memory at the moment came over. Always with the soft words, always with the gentle touches, ones Kevala tried so hard not to shy away from. But it was so hard. The normal connections in her mind, that should have there, were lacking and only a few really stayed strong. So, she had to force herself to try and remain calm.
Yet then came the whole, mention of a bath. Something that in truth she feared greatly. It had meant such bad things for her in that place. Such very bad things, and though she felt like she was safe, she was unsure. Eyes constantly lifting to seek out David, making sure he was still there, because in her head, he was safe and if he was there then bad stuff could not happen anymore.
Finally, with much coaxing, she got into the bath, though when the journal and bear had been pried from her hands, to which she had whimpered and tried to get them back, she was put into the shower. She had braced herself, the water at the asylum had always been so cold, everything there was cold and empty. But when a warm spray fell across her pale, bruised flesh, she felt almost relaxed. Yet until she got her things back, she was not going to be very calm at all.
Needless to say the bath had been….a bit tough. Not so much for Kev but perhaps for the girl. Mischa….The name was there, now, be it because she had heard it throughout her time with the two or some part of her memory letting it free, she now could put a name with the face. But either way, yes it had been tough, because she had to assist Kev and the hands touching her had not been very welcome, though she did considerably well considering the way she would have normally reacted to anyone else. Which to them may have been good. To her it was really not that certain if it was or not.
But either way, she finally was done, and had a towel wrapped snuggly about her. Her hair, for once smelling clean and pretty, enough so that she actually lifted a strand to her face and buried her nose against it for a moment. Yet, she wanted her stuff and again had tried to get it, but again Mischa had stopped her. Sure, it was for the sake of getting her dressed, but that was not comforting to Kev. She wanted her things and she was not going to be at ease until she had them.
But she had to wait, and wait she did, whimpering impatiently and biting her lip as she was given the clothes to put on. Some of what she claimed were Kev’s clothes were handed to her, but all that Kev would even consider wearing was the underwear and the small pair of shorts that barely fit. They were almost too big for her given the amount of weight she had lost. Yet the tank top, apparently the one thing she had the most of, was a definite no go. Just looking at it made her feel uncomfortable, so she had pushed it back into Mischa’s hands and shook her head. Still unsure enough not to speak.
With that Mischa left the bathroom, which gave Kev the prime chance to snatch up her things again, hugging them close and burying her nose into the bear as she breathed in that familiar scent that she could not place but that seemed to comfort her. Though it was then that she opened her eyes and spotted herself in a mirror. The one thing she had not had the luxury of since before her time being placed in that horrid asylum.
Nearing the glass, she had studied her features in the glass, the way her eyes were so pale they were white, the way her skin was lacking in any color and the dark bruises that were on her jaw and her shoulders. A small shaky hand came forth, slowly tracing the image in the glass as she bit her lip. Was that really her? She thought, in her head, of a girl that looked so different than this, that had been darker of skin and who’s eyes had been bright and shimmering with life…not dull and lifeless.
It was only then that she actually looked at her arms, the bruises, the marks left behind from the straps they had used at night on her wrists, the puncture wounds of the needles. All of it was, unsettling and tears filled her eyes. She became lost in the sight of herself, the way she was, knowing somewhere inside that it was not right. She was not supposed to look this way.
Then the door opened again and she spun around, her back hitting against the sink as she felt her heart race and her breath quicken. Not one to be snuck up on, though honestly that had not been the case, even if it seemed as such in her head. Yet when she saw who it was, she calmed, though it took a moment for her breathing to return to normal.
Then, with more soft words and gentle touches to try and sooth her, another shirt was held out to her. This one much bigger. Mischa explained she had, had to borrow one of David’s shirts and that made Kev a little more inclined to take it. Though, the problem remained……she had to put her stuff down to put it on. For some it would not have been that big a decision, but for her it had been almost torture. Yet in the end, the ideal of wearing a towel had persuaded her into putting down the bear and book and taking the shirt.
Reluctantly she lowered the towel and slipped the shirt on, one that was large enough to extend down to just above her knees. It felt comfortable, and she felt better, even if it was only a little. Grabbing back her things then, she let Mischa brush her hair and other such things, before they finally left the bathroom.
The rest of the evening was pretty much a blur to Kev. She remembered them trying to get her to eat and her not wanting to. The drugs, and the fact the food at the asylum had been so horrible making her inclined to rather starve than put it in her mouth. She also remembered the constant soft touches from Mischa and the constant checking of her eyes to make sure David was still there.
She could not help it. That was the only connection her mind had kept through all she had been through. The words he had spoken, the belief he had in her when everyone else thought she had hurt herself again. It had stuck.
Other than that, her last memory before the real nightmare began was being put to bed…
She had tried to sleep, the ideal of doing such without being first stuck with a needle was nice at best, yet as the darkness settled in, the sounds came. No sounds from the place she was in, but sounds from her mind. The sounds of the place she had been in. The screams, the cries for help. Yet she was still able to try and get some rest, though inside her heart was steadily increasing. With eyes closed she tried to remind herself it was okay, that she had gotten out, that there were no monsters in white going to come and get her. But then, at some point, how long into the night she was not sure, she heard it. The sound of the doors. That iron clang of them being opened, the jingling of keys and that was when the true panic sank in.
She shot up in bed, her breathing heavy and her heart racing as she held to her teddy bear tightly. Not bothering with the journal which she had become used to hiding at night to keep safe. There was nothing but silence……and perhaps that was the most unsettling thing of all. Her lower lip quivering just slightly, she got up, bare feet silently tracking across the floor. Kevala had always been able to be silent when she wanted to be, and right now was one such case, and though she had lost a lot, she had not lost her sense of observation as to her surroundings. She had learned quick where things were, and she used that little skill now.
Slowly creeping through the home, trying not to make noise as she found the door she was looking for and slowly pushed it open. David’s room…..Now it is not clear if he woke before or after she did such, but whatever the case was, she had stood there, biting her lip nervously and hugging that bear as she wiggled her foot nervously back and forth upon the floor, finally daring to speak up.
”C..Can I…I sleep with you? Where…..it..its safe?”
If permitted, her small form would crawl into the bed beside him, at first simply curling up and offering up a meek thank you. Though, it did not take long before she was wiggled up against him, her small form buried against his much larger, warmer one as she hid her face and drew in the scent of him. For some reason, that alone brought her peace and allowed her to relax, finally allowed her to sleep.
For the time being at least….no telling what the rest of the night, or the nights to come might hold……
