Blood, Tears, Goodbye? (Nathaniel)

[Ceraphine Davis]

Dear Agony

.:Death's Doorway:.

Kevala pulled away from the hospital, it had been a fight, once they had gotten Mischa inside, to keep them from dragging her along too. Honestly it was to be expected. She was standing there, the best she could, with a crimson soaked white t-shirt, a pair of blood soaked jeans, and two knives strapped to her thighs

Then of course there was the fact that her hair was wet and sticky with blood, clinging to her flesh and her clothing, her face streaked with the red fluid.....She was a mess, and her usually soft, tan complexion was paling with each passing moment. Yet the demon still ran free, weak, but there none the less, and it drove her on to shove them back and jump back into her car, throwing it into gear.

As she took off she pulled up her shirt, the bullet wound to her left side she had been hiding continued to bleed, every breath harder and harder to drag into her unwilling lungs.......Then looking down she noted the wound to her lower abdomen, the blood soaked through her jeans and now sliding down her thighs and onto the seat of the car...

She wished those were the only two, but she knew the three in her back were not helping matters, she was losing too much blood and in fact she was dying....Her vision clouding every so slightly, but not so much that she could not see where she was going.

As she removed her hand from the wound at her side, she fumbled for the center console, trying to hit the latch to pop it open, though the slippery hands covered in blood made the task harder than it should have been.

Finally managing to do so, she dug around inside for her cell phone, her finger hitting the first button that she could as she brought it to her ear.....

She had dialed Jack....and gotten voicemail.....Slamming the phone shut she growled weakly, not knowing what else to do. His place was too far, and Gabriel had Zeke, she could not go there.....Then the street sign caught her attention....

Fuuuu......

The closest place was Nathaniel's...Luckily it was still daylight out and though she was not even sure if he was there, it was her only option. Besides, a weak, bloody smile curling on her face....At least if she died it would be with the man she loved there....Seemed fitting enough....

Jerking the steering wheel she turned onto the road that led to the club...Not taking her long to get there, thank the gods......

As she pulled in front of the club, she reached for the handle of the door, her fingers slipping and losing their grip a few times before she managed to push the door open and spill out of the car.

The feel of the concrete against her hands and knees as she fell there was nothing compared to the pain she was in. Her body slowly dulling though as she began to go into shock.....Crimson eyes had already begun to fade into their icy color....an odd combination created of the two colors as both the regular Kev and the demon inside prowled about together in one motion.

Pushing herself up, leaving a pool of blood on the sidewalk, she made it to the door...Pushing against it, unsure if it was locked or not, and not really caring, either way, she would get in...Shoving the door open as hard as she could manage she stumbled in...

Her hand pressing tightly to the wound at her side, knowing it was the one that was the most fatal of the five gun shot wounds....Not that the others were not slowly dragging the life from her, but this one had hit her lung, as was clear as she choked out a bit of blood....Feeling it pool in her mouth and than spill from the corners of her lips.....

It took her about four more steps before her knees could not support her weight any longer.....

Weakly her tone finally managed to escape her in a gurgled and weak manner, but it was there none the less.

"N..Nath....Nathan!!!!

Finally managing to scream out the last part, even if it seized up her lungs and caused her to struggle for breath.....Tears filled her eyes as she thought of Zeke....her son....Aiden and Kazumi...She wasn't going to make amends for what she had done wrong...Not going to be able to see her youngest son grow up into the amazing person she knew he had the potential to be.....

As she laid there, staring up at the ceiling, everything began to grow fuzzier....her vision slowly going as she continued to try and apply pressure to the wound on her side.

"Nathaniel......."

This time it was more of a whisper, just something her mind was throwing off as memories and emotions ran wild in her....Her own emotional powers lost in this moment....Tears leaving streaks through the blood as her eyes fell closed, her breathing soft and labored.....forced............

[nathaniel]

Over the past couple of weeks the hit club Emerald Skies had been closed almost half of the days, which had many people both upset and worried about the future of the club. Sure, when the club was actually open it was packed the entire time, and so it kept its usual income, but so many rumors were being spread about the club and its owner Nathaniel Beauvais. A lot of people believed that he was simply to young and inexperienced to handle such a popular club, and it was starting to get the best of him. The other popular rumor was that he was an avid gambler, and was simply losing all of the money that he was earning at casinos and underground gambling rings. Even though these rumors had spread across town, no one could truly know the complexity that was Nathaniel. He was indeed going through some things that were affecting him mentally, but these were not the type of problems that most people his age were having.

He was having family and woman troubles, and even though this wasn't rare for someone to have these problems nothing could really compare to his own. His relationship with his brother was complicated at best, and things with his girl friend had just gotten to him more than anything. All of this added on top of his fragile state of mind had caused him to basically crack under the overwhelming mental pressure. The bit of sanity that he had left in him had left, leaving in its place a much darker and more vicious Nathaniel than had ever existed before. He wasn't the man that so many had at least thought they knew, but that was only on the inside. It was rare for him to show the darkness that had taken over him, other than the increasing number of victims that he had been capturing to keep his seemingly endless hunger for blood and torture satisfied. But the darkness inside was only growing, and there was no telling how far he would go to feed it.

Even though the club was currently closed, there were always a couple of girls that came in to check up on Nathaniel and tried to keep him from losing it completely. Megan and Brittany were always there for him, like a couple of older sisters looking out for their deranged little brother. At the moment they were simply tending the the club, making sure that everything was clean and set up for when it opened again, and like usual Nathaniel up in his apartment doing God knows what to one of the women that he had come over that day. All that they knew was there was a fifty fifty chance that she would ever even come back down from his apartment, and they could only hope that he could contain himself and just get some of his aggression out on her in bed. The two of them had seen some things that no sane person should never have to witness first hand, and even though they cared for Nathaniel the fear they had for him grew with every passing day.

Megan: I wish Nathan would talk to use about things. I mean, maybe we could even help him get back to his old self.

Brittany: I know what you mean, really I do, but I don't think there's anything more we can do. We'll have to just stick with him and hope that eventually he'll return to the Nathaniel we grew to love.

Megan: I suppose you're right... I just hate to see him like this, to see the things that he's done.

This was as casual of a conversation that the two of them could have as they sat at the bar alone and started taking shots to try and drown the feeling of uselessness that they had when it came to helping Nathaniel with his problems. Both of them were now the heart and soul of the actually running of the club now, since Nathaniel always seemed to be preoccupied with something. It was taking a toll on them, and since the drinks were free they often found themselves passed out in one of the booths of the club until the next morning. This day didn't seem to be any different, as they were starting the chain of events all over again, but neither of them could have ever predicted who would enter the club on this day, or what shape this person was in upon arrival. Everything was going like all of the other days the club was closed until they heard the door to the club being forced open.

When they heard this, both of them looked back toward the entrance and saw Nathaniel's girl friend Kevala drenched in her own blood and barely able to walk anymore. She would attempt to call out for Nathaniel before falling to the ground and softly say his name as her eyes fluttered shut. Megan would quickly get up from her seat, with Brittany following closely behind as they ran over to the severely injured girl that now laid bleeding out on the floor. Brittany would turn her over on her back slowly to get a good look at all of the wounds, while Megan nervously got out her cell phone and was getting ready to call 911 and get someone over to the club as soon as possible. Before she could send the call, however, the ding of the elevator could be heard as the doors opened to reveal Nathaniel. shirtless and drenched in his own sweat with a pair of black jeans and no socks.

"There's no need for that, Megan. We don't want any unnecessary attention, now do we?"

His stare was enough to make her drop the cell phone right there, knocking the back of it off as she nodded, swallowing her fear as he made his way over to Kevala. Brittany and Megan would back away from the two of them, keeping their distance because neither of them could even to begin to imagine what Nathaniel was thinking, let alone what he would do with the nearly dead body of his girlfriend. After about five seconds a staring blankly down at Kevala's body, he would kneel beside her and feel her neck for a pulse. It was faint, and slowly but steadily fading with each passing second, and so he lifted her small body over his right shoulder and made his way over to the elevator. Her wounds quickly left thick red rivers of blood that went down both sides of his body, but he was definitely used to getting his hands dirty, even though this was a little different. As he entered the elevator,he would turn around a look at his girls.

"I'm going to be busy for awhile. Don't let anyone else in, or we may have a problem."

With that said the elevator door would close, leaving the two young women to let out a relieved sigh as the two of them went to seal the entrance with a lowering cage. As they did that, Nathaniel would stand in the elevator and place his hand on the scanner, changing it to Seranium to gain access to the second floor where he could work in privacy. As the elevator door finally opened, he would make his way onto the mysterious second floor of the building, passing a number of rooms before turning into one that had a medical bed with straps on it and a heart beat sensor next to it. Placing Kevala on the bed, he would wrap the three straps around her body and place the heart beat sensor on her finger. After this was done he would stand and stare at the line of the heart beat sensor, watching as it slowed down over a couple of seconds until it finally stopped moving at all.

With Kevala laying dead on the table, Nathaniel would start to extract all of the bullets from within her body with surgical tools and placing them on the stand next to the bed. As soon as all of the bullets were removed from her body, Nathaniel would place his hand on her chest, closing his eyes as his body slowly became pale. As his body began to shake and lose energy, Kevala's wounds would all begin to heal back to normal, not even leaving scars behind. As soon as all of her wounds were healed, the heart beat sensor would start to go again, steadily getting stronger and stronger until she was back to the peak of health. After he was finished, Nathaniel would go and wash his hands, grabbing a copy of the school newspaper from the school that Kevala attended and placing it next to her bed. He would unstrap her slowly before taking a seat next to her and slicking his sweaty hair back, his nose beginning to bleed right before he let out a cough, a splatter of blood now on his hands and a slight trickle running down each side of his mouth.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala laid there, her mind drifting in and out of conciousness as she whimpered out. Not so much in pain, seeing as how her body was going slowly numb and what pain was left was nothing she could not handle. No, this was more from the fact she could feel her mind slipping, feel darkness threatening to consume her thoughts and send her to a place she was not entirely ready to go.

Death.......

Sure she wished it on many an occasion and had even attempted to put herself in such a state once....But right now, with her son and the prospect of having an actual family, albeit fucked up, she did not wish to leave just yet.

Her small hand finally coming up to press against the one wound she could reach she felt the blood flow through her fingers in a thick, warm gush....Unable to breath normally anymore she had to struggle for every breath she took. The pain of her one functioning lung burning through her to the point that she felt like it was going to explode.

Just then the sound of voices entered her area of hearing....Two women....Most likely the two that were here on a regular basis....Their fear for her hitting her senses like a bad odor, causing her to shudder despite the lack of life that now consumed her.

However that was nothing, with the faint sound of an elevator, and then the crashing of a phone to the ground beside her, she felt their fear increase tenfold, only making her gag as the sensation seemed to spark her own....the one emotion she was unable to handle very well......

Coughing to try and relieve the sensation now building in her stomach, blood splattered her lips and oozed down from the corners of her mouth. Her hand falling away from the wound as the energy needed to keep it there faded from her body.

She knew he was there, and she knew from the two girls and the way they seemed to back away from her, that something was wrong. Yet in her current state she could not think of what that was, nor did she try...Her main focus right now was to stay alive....

She did not know how long she laid there, every breath, every heart beat harder and heavier....It felt like her heart was tied to a weight that was slowly dragging it under......soon enough it would lose the ability to keep beating......The weight just too much. Eventually, after what seemed like forever to the dying girl, she felt arms lifting her up, her body positioned in such a manner as to be a bit uncomfortable...another whimper slipping forth, though this time weak and fluid sounding from the blood that filled not only her lung but her throat and mouth......

As she heard the sound of his voice, despite her own inability to sense his emotions, she could tell something was off....She just did not know what. Though instantly she got this sinking feeling in the fleeting recesses of her mind.......The feeling that maybe she should not have come here......She should have called Gabriel.....She should have done something other than this......

Yet it took too much energy to think like that, and soon enough her eyes fell closed once more and the struggle to stay awake became too much..........Sleep...Yes that was what she needed....Rest and she would be fine........Or at least that is what her delusional brain told her..............

Needless to say, she was unconscious when he placed her upon the table and strapped her down. Unaware of the monitor hooked to her, or of the fact that he stood there, looming over her as he watched her slowly begin to fade.

It was a peaceful feeling that enveloped her, her body seeming to ease out of any and all pain as her hands went slack beside her....Breathing slowing until the point where her chest no longer rose and fell..........Her heart beating in a dull rhythm until it too stopped........

Death...........

A place she did not want to be, but a place she now found herself in. Ironically the one place she was probably safest......Yet no matter how much she may have later wished she stayed there, it did not last for long.

Soon enough her body was healed, again without her having any sensation of it what so ever.......And then her heart began to slowly beat once more, picking up pace rather quickly until it was again functioning as it had been at the start of her day.......

As she gasped for that first breath upon coming back to life, literally, she would shift about on the table, the straps having been removed by this point and allowing her to struggle with the sensation of all the feeling in her body coming back in such a heated rush.....Every nerve ending in her body seeming to come to life at the same time, her mind racing with thoughts and the dull hum of voices which had been let free due to the trauma she had endured.......

Sure, the physical wounds were gone, her body back to normal in an instant it seemed, but the mental wounds were fresh and deep...things she would have to work hard to overcome.....

Laying there, with the scent of the room hitting her senses, memories started to surface....They were hazey and not very clear, but the one thing that stood out was the fear she had felt...Not only her own, but that of those two girls....

But why had they been so scared?

As her icy hues fluttered open, her head shifting to the side, her gaze falling upon Nathaniel as she heard that cough. Of course her fist instinctive emotion toward him was love......For despite both of their crazy natures and darker sides, she did love him, completely and honestly....

Yet it took but a moment for the memory of the girls' fear to come flooding back....It had been because of him, and even though she felt a bit of worry about the blood she saw on him, the more overwhelming sensation was that something was wrong....Very wrong.....

Shifting once more on the table, she pushed herself up onto her elbow, biting softly onto the bloodied corner of her lip and licking away what was still rather fresh.......

"Nathaniel?....What's the......."

Eyes catching sight of the school newsletter laying there and cutting her off mid-sentence. As her hand came out to retrieve it, almost as though she hoped that it was not real, she felt a sick feeling rising up in her stomach. None of what the damn thing had said was true, and Guy was already warned about pulling that crap again..........But she knew how it had looked......

Pulling the paper to her, she sat up, legs dangling off the edge of the table as she stared down picture of herself that had been first thing most had seen........

Slowly her fingers would curl about the edges of the paper as both anger at the lies and worry over what they had caused began to take hold......

Shaking her head she finally cast her eyes up to him, a dull shade of their once vibrant icy blue.....

"Baby? .... You don't believe this shit do you? I mean, Guy is ....well.....a bit over zealous in his work, he got carried away...I have already dealt with him....."

Setting the paper aside she would let her small hands grip the edges of the table, her dark locks falling around her delicate frame as she continued to look at him with a bit of worry and uncertainty.

"Come on....You know I love you...More than anything...."

Her tone soft, honest and for the life of her innocent. She for once in her miserable life had done nothing wrong, and yet sitting there, faced with god knows what he was thinking, she was surely in more trouble than she had ever been in before.....

It was that knowledge, or lack there of in this case, that kept her planted in her current position, her eyes fixated upon him and her teeth nibbling at her lip in a nervous fashion.......Every second of silence that ticked by only making it all the more worse on her fragile and fractured mind......

[nathaniel]

So there he sat, his body weak and nearly motionless as Kevala's heart began to beat once more after his seemingly Godly act of bringing her back from death. His eyes were now faint, almost dark enough to be lifeless, and his skin was an extremely pale white, covered in even more strenuous sweat than he had when he went downstairs to retrieve her from the floor. If he were anywhere other than in his building people would have thought that he was on the brink of death, which wasn't exactly wrong at all. It took a lot of his energy to bring her back from the death he had needed her to slip into in order to save her life, and the blood that was dripping from his nose and mouth was evidence of this. He had only done this a few other times in his life, but it had never been to keep someone he loved alive. The only time he saved someone from death was to make them wish they had died, and Kevala would soon find out that she was no different.

Finally, after a good minute of waiting for her to regain consciousness, Nathaniel would look over at Kevala through the corner of his eye as she took in a long gasp of air. It was probably a strange sensation, being full of bullet holes, dying and then coming back to life fully recovered. He could only imagine the thoughts that were coursing through her head, but none of them really mattered to him. He did, however, wonder how much she was truly conscious for from the time he came down the elevator. If she was actually someone awake she would have felt the girls' emotions, and he knew the fear that they had because of him. If she was able to sense it than she may have been able to figure out that he hadn't really changed since they last were with each other. He craved chaos, and would do anything to bring it to those around him to see how they would react to it. It was a game to him, and he loved adding new players.

Kevala would eventually come to her senses, though she was probably more confused about what happened to herself and Nathaniel than anything. She was somewhere unknown with the man that she loved, but did she truly feel safe around him. Something in her gaze told him that she didn't, but he didn't care how she felt. As a worried look spread over her face, she appeared to want to ask him what happened, but her sentence was cut short as her gaze caught the school newsletter on the table next to her. He knew that she was aware of the words that were written in it by her expression, as she slowly grabbed it and pulled it toward her. As she looked at the paper she began to squeeze tightly on the sides, telling Nathaniel that it bothered her in one way or another. He couldn't tell if she felt terrible about the article, or if she just hated the fact that he had seen it, but it bothered her none the less.

After skimming over the paper for a good minute, she finally turned her gaze back to him, an innocent and worried look in her eyes as she tried to fix the damage that she knew she had caused. She tried to blame all of the words on the author, one of her own Pillars, saying that he was just over zealous and that she had dealt with it. He might have believed her if he hadn't had some of his 'friends' follow her around to get some credit on the story, and from what he got from the man before killing him his girlfriend had been spending plenty of time with this Jack. He had one night stands, and simply didn't care about other women, but to spend so much time with another man after being with him was not something Nathaniel could handle. His darkness and hatred only grew as she told him that she loved him more than anything, his entire body tensing up as the words echoed in the emptiness of the second floor.

As she looked at him, her innocent gaze only making him more and more frustrated as time went by, he let out one more cough of blood onto the floor before wiping the trickles from his nose and mouth. He would turn his full attention to her, his eyes no longer concealing the hatred that he felt in his heart for her, the same intense gaze that had caused those that were closest to him to keep their distance. He would slowly get up from the chair by the medical bed and walk past her, ripping the paper from her hand and throwing it against the wall behind her. His breathing now heavy as his hand sat above one of the surgical knifes, shaking intensely as he looked down at it. He wanted nothing more than to kill her and bring her back again over and over again, but he knew that he didn't have the energy for that. He would kill her in another way, one that he was all too good at doing.

"You really think your soft spoken words and innocent face will keep me from seeing the truth?" Grabbing the blade he would jump on top of her, pin her down by her neck and stab the knife into her pillow, cutting the right side of her face as he did so. His breathing was now even more irratic and heavy as he held her down against the bed. "I never want to her you say you love me again. I've put up with your disappearance, your lies and your stronger love for my brother. I can't put up with anymore of your bullshit!" His face was down by hers, the intensity of his words more than likely sending shivers down her spine. He wanted to get his point across right away. No playing, no suspense, just his brutally honest and hurtful words. He wanted to break her, kill her emotionally since he couldn't bring himself to actually take her life. Even through all of the negative feelings he had for her, there was still that part that wished none of this had happened.

Taking the blade from the pillow, he would slowly get up from the bed and place his feet on the ground, but instead of standing there he collapsed to the ground because he overexerted himself and used up what little physical strength he had left to make his point. He would crawl over to the other side of the small gray room, pushing himself up to a sitting position as he leaned against the wall and stared at her. "I should've just let you die on my floor. Then I wouldn't have to put up with the fact that you're still alive, falling for any man that shows you any sort of attention." He would let out a long, angered sigh as he let his head fall to look down at his own limp body. Every inch of him was shaking, wanting to spill more blood, as Kevala's blood began to dry on his torso. "You really were just some slut that I accidentally got pregnant..."

[Ceraphine Davis]

She knew by the way she was healed and the way he was looking how badly he had exhausted his energy in trying to save her. Yet she did not get close to him, she said nothing about the manner in which he appeared. Instead she sat there, waiting.......

Then, he rose, his body moving slowly past her, jerking the paper from her hands and throwing it against the wall. Closing her eyes, she lowered her head, knowing well what was coming next. She had known he had a darker side, a side that could easily kill her, and she knew that he had lost whatever emotions kept him tied to her, or at least buried them within his own dark heart and refused to see them.

Drawing in a deep breath, she knew, that in the state she was in, she could possibly TRY and get away, but would she? No...She would simply relax her muscles and allow what was about to happen to occur. A part of her always feeling as though she deserved whatever punishment she got.

Then, just like that, he spoke, his words harsh and cold......

As he threw her back onto the table, his body pinning her there, she looked up at him, her expression saddened and yet calm even as the surgical knife was stabbed into the pillow beside her head, cutting against her face slightly.

She did not move, only her soft breath escaping her and her eyes ever watchful of his own.

Then he began to speak, his tone, those words, the look he had, it was enough to shatter her heart inside, making her close her eyes for a moment as she brushed her tongue across her lips once more.

She let him go on, listening to the hate that dripped from his words, knowing that what he spoke was the truth. Well most of it. She loved him more, no matter what he or anyone else may have thought, including herself. Gabriel was a man she would always care for, but Nathaniel, he was the one she loved completely, even now as he destroyed everything she had left inside herself.

Tears filling her eyes, she did not speak, letting him finish and then collapse to the ground beside the table, her small frame pushing up to sit as she watched him, still refusing to leave as she drew in a deep breath and brushed her fingers over the cut to her face, simply letting her knees be drawn up to her chest as she wrapped her arms about them slowly.

"Do I think you will listen to me? No. I know that look, I know you cannot stand the sight of me right now, and I know that you will destroy me in one way or another tonight....But it is a risk I took when I fell in love with you."

She took another calming breath, reaching out and removing her cuffs and her bracelet from about her wrists, along with the other items she wore that she had specially made for herself. Simply dropping them to the floor before resuming her previous position. Her attention once more turning toward him.

"Even though I know it makes no difference now...I want you to know that I admit I thought I loved Gabriel more, but I have come to see that it is not the case.....My soul and every part of me that I have left to give will always belong to you Nathaniel....."

She shrugged, resting her head on her knees, while she still had the ability to do so, her eyes paling in color as she resigned to the fact that she could have easily been brought back just to be tortured to death......He may have thought her stupid or ignorant, but she was well aware what the man was capable of.....

"I admit that I have done many things wrong in my life. I have in fact spent time with one man, other than yourself, and for that I am sorry. But do not think it was love for it was nothing of the sort.......You choose to be with many who mean nothing, I choose to be with one.....Does not change how little the meaning is in being with them."

She swallowed hard, the last comment from him having really been the one to tear her apart, though she supposed she had always held it in the back of her mind that he thought that way, it was why she had run away in the first place......Why she had been scared to find him when Gabe had suggested it......But given all she had done wrong, all her lies and her stupidity, she could understand.......

"As for me being a slut you knocked up......I suppose you are right........So, how about we get this started huh? I know you hate me right now and nothing I do or say will change that. You kept me alive for a reason.....So, lets have it..."

With that she fell silent, nothing more to say as her eyes faded to a white shade.....All emotions draining from her as she lowered her eyes and waited there for the inevitable. She had always thought that it was her love for Gabriel that would get her killed, but in the end it was the love she felt for Nathaniel that would be her undoing.

She loved him too much to see him suffer through such hatred without the ability to damage the one who caused it. She would have gone to the ends of the earth, through hell and back for him....But such things were lost to him now......All she could do, was let him have the thing he desired most....her pain....her suffering, and her torment. Though it would most likely come across as her weakness, she knew in her heart that this was her strength........She just wished she was enough to get through the madness.......Just once, she wished she could be enough.........