Would you Listen?

[Odin Natalis]

Well.. I came up with something..

Im not in the greatest of moods so.. here we go..

comment as you see fit..

-commence shitty sad mode-

TITLE

Would you listen?

I stood on top of a small hill, watching the sun set..

I felt betrayed, everyone was out having a blast, while I was sent back to dwell on what I did..

I got into a fight with a few friends and they beat me up bad.. I didn't know what else to do.. They walked away and told there friends how worthless I was.

I wasn't strong enough to defend myself..

No matter how hard I try, I can't get stronger.

I wanted to go be with them, my friends. But would the listen to why I wanted to be away from them for so long? would they listen and understand?

I looked at the ground, the grass moving in the wind as if they were best friends..

Had I lost everything that I held dear?

I wanted to cry, but that wasn't the answer.

What did I do to deserve such torment? was I to hard? or was I not strong enough..

I wanted my life to go back the way it was, I was always smiling, even when the situation was serious, I want to become myself again.

I sighed and sat down..

my name is...

my name is..

Of no importance. I was useless.

I softly spoke through the words that bonded my lips shut and kept me from speaking my mind.

"if you i spoke, would you listen?" I said.

"if I spoke, would you be silent and let me speak untill I am done, or would you let my tears of pain fall onto the ground."

I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to speak but i didn't want to.

I am not a character..

Life is nothing but a stage, we act, we love and we hate, we live and we die.

I was nothing but a main character in other peoples stories, my own story has yet to be written.

i speak and no words come out..

Am I really such a person?

I want to be heard, the insanity takes hold of me and forces me into talking, leaving me breathless and leaving me to think..

Have I done the right thing?

Had listening to people I can about really something I should do for my life?

I gave it some thought..

Next thing I could recall is spending time alone. Crying about what had happened during a day.

I was..

I am..

Nothing.

Even to this day, I am a slacker, I don't do my work on time.

I can't help it.

I want to change, but I can't, I want to change, but I won't.

I am no one of importance..

i want to be alone, I am alone, i am safe.

But I am not safe from myself. I never will be.. I am useless.

my name.. Is..

Trent..

Would you listen to what I, or anyone else have to say? or would you tell us off.

if you listen, maybe you would understand..
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
...........

Would you listen?

[Reira]

Aww... I like this ;__;... something everyone can connect to

[Odin Natalis]

Thanks, I work on things alot >,<

I find joy in writing.

[Uriel]

hmm the sobering reality is that we all wear masks and I think you're finally realizing that Trent I know yer pain -man hugs-

here when you need me bro.

[Odin Natalis]

Thanks Ryan.. Speaking of which, something new has just occurred to me.

Thought of something new, I hate school.

Well, other than that, im not in the greatest of moods..

What are you doing?

I woke up, startled by the sunlight as it danced in my room awaiting a partner that would never show up.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes and squinted, something was wrong, But what was it?

I looked around my room and it was clean.. I could see the floor.

I got up and went to my desk to check a few sites I was on before heading off to school..

Something startled me, I dont know what it was.

I wanted to just go back to sleep. It was that bad.

I left in the morning and went to school. I was in a bad mood, I didn't want to go but I had to.

A false smile went on my face as I entered the school, I didn't feel the same, was this my insanity taking over?

No.. It was me, I am my own worse fear.

Was I afraid of myself?

No one would ever know.

Does anyone hear the inside?

Do my cries come out of my smile?

If they did, no one was listening. I listen to people and put my things aside, no one should have to listen to me, but a few..

Not everyone should listen..

I want to tell more people, but no one would care.

i went through school laughing empty laughs..

When I got home I wanted to be alone, I was alone but something felt wrong.

I looked at my cell, no messages, no missed calls..

This has been the 3rd week in a row.. even my best friends didn't want me to join them to go see a movie? or even go hang with them?

I walked out of my house with a black coat on and walked down the street and went to a park and hid behind a wall and looked around the corner and saw that they were all playing an laughing..

i was left out.

I watched them and looked down..

I walked away.

I heard my cell ring and listened to someone complain that there bf just dumped them and tried to cheer them up and I did..

She said that I could talk to her when ever I wanted and when I did...

She was "busy" with her bf..

Even a week after when I called, she told me to suck it up and be a man..

I want someone to listen to what I have to say and help me when I need it..

I need someone like that.

Friend, best friend, brother.. I don't care.

People who will listen and will take time to listen are the friends worth keeping..

Near, far.. doesn't matter, as long as I can vent when I can get a hold of them its fine..
--------------------------------

sorry if everything seems so.. well dark.. But i gotta find a place to put all my writings..

plus, people deserve to see work with emotion put into it.

Everyone does.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Hmm....I know what it is like to have darkness spill into your writing.
And I also know what it is like to feel the pain of realizing that everyone wears a mask just as Ryan said......It is a painful truth but one that everyone eventually must learn. *hugs*

I am here if ya need me....

[Odin Natalis]

thanks >.< through out the day im gunna be writing more, I HATE BEING CREATIVE!

>.>

[Odin Natalis]

Im going to speak my mind since it makes me feel empty again... and joyous.

I never understood the people who are around me really are.

Everywhere I look everyone has the same face, its weird.. Everyone i could think about is always so happy, yet they are all the same and my different face.. I just..

I feel left out of everything, I dont know why but I can hardly be myself anymore.

I used to be happy and cheerful myself, but now.. I can't do it.

I don't know how to explain but, so many events... So much to take in.

I sat alone in my room, writing stories but did people really want to read them? or did people just want to read them so they could take time away from something to say they read it..

sometimes I dont understand why I even write.

its kinda funny..

Other than that.. people say that they like it. did they Lie? or tell the truth.

What did people want from me.

I laugh and was laughing alone.

Alone.. no one is around right now so I dont know why I am.

Even when I am with people. My jokes dont phase them anymore like they used to, they usually always make them laugh.

why dont they!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Is everyone really changing while I am staying the same?

why?..

WHY DAMNIT!

I know my problems have no effect on others and that I should be happy with what I have, but all this at once is kinda hard to take all at once and just gets to me, I dont know why I even talk about it, when I could talk to people about there problems..

When I talk to people its.. "Suck it up"

And I do.. I go alone and start to cry internally and keep everything in with a fake smile.

Would anyone else send me to the same fate?

[knightmare13]

Dude, no one knows the pain of creativity other than writers themselves. Despite the praise we get the pain of always dealing with the fact that it will remain there for as long as we live and write.

[Odin Natalis]

Am I really the person you all think i am.. Sometimes I forget myself.

Am I lost? What is going on with me?


I have great friends..

i know they are here for me.

But, do they see who I am? do they see that im a wreck?

Ryan:

Ryan, who everyone knows him as the Seran guy... them fucking Serans...

Anyways..

he is allways around when I need him and gives me sharp advice, always helpful when needed and always reads something that is new.

honestly, even after joining 259, i heard a few things.. Other than that he is a great guy. easy going, funny and all the good stuff.

he always has some sort of plan for everyone and I do enjoy talking to him and such.

i just kinda wish I knew people on this board alot more and that I lived closer so I could talk to them man to man.

Sarah:

Sarah is an awesome gal, shes funny and can relate to what I say..

she is around... ALWAYS...

but she has been a great impact on what I do as a writer and person. She joined after me on 259, shes more of a poster than I am..

She interacts and is more intune with the site than I am..

I am busy with outside things that are around me.

she is always helping with the site talking to people and stuff, shes a great person...

but.... some people arn't as lucky as her to just settle in..


There are others, but these are the only ones that I know are on this board.
----------------------


Well.. that isn't the end..

i dont know why, but I don't feel right here, call me crazy but I want to be here and everything I just feel out matched and out ranked.

Everytime I come on here it makes me feel weird that new comers all being stronger than me..

I deserve it though, I spent time away from Rping, its hard to rp for me now a days..

[Mr. Seran]

Mar 31, 2010 18:48:44 GMT -5 Odin Natalis said:

Ryan, who everyone knows him as the Seran guy... them fucking Serans...

Anyways..

he is allways around when I need him and gives me sharp advice, always helpful when needed and always reads something that is new.

honestly, even after joining 259, i heard a few things.. Other than that he is a great guy. easy going, funny and all the good stuff.

he always has some sort of plan for everyone and I do enjoy talking to him and such.

i just kinda wish I knew people on this board alot more and that I lived closer so I could talk to them man to man.

Lies and Blasphemy

>_>

but in all seriousness dude anytime ya need something feel free to ask it I'm here when you need it. *nods*

Though I still hope you're not leaving us just yet

[Devon]

You know what you need? Porn.

... Stop looking at me like that.