Post by Addie on Mar 23, 2010 18:32:43 GMT -5
Maternal Heart
It had been a week or three since the attack, she didn't really go out much.Addie didn't feel like leaving the house, unless of course she was with someone. There was a lingering fear that seemed to consume her. People could be dangerous, right? Of course they were, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows in the world. She knew it all too well, after all. She was one a bad person too, a long time ago. Back in Japan.It was so silly, her motives at least. Years of changing, becoming someone else,all to be ruined by a single screw up. The confidence and strength she had gathered, seemed to wither away.
People can be so fragile.
Torrin was at school,or out..Or something. Addie didn't even know what day it was,all she knew was the apartment was empty. Although she was worried for the young girl, Addie knew she could handle herself. Torrin was a strong girl, but that didn't stop her maternal heart from worrying. One can not just stop caring, especially for someone so dear to their heart.The brunette stared out the window, unmoving, watching the drifting clouds. The windows were open,allowing the sounds of passing cars and cries and laughter from the children below. The tenth floor help the home of Addie Balfour...Watanabi and Torrin Ackers-Burr, a lovely and warm two bedroom apartment, with a balcony that overlooked a busy street,the pool, and the entrance for the parking lot. So lovely and such a steep drop.Perhaps it was a little too far off the ground.
Getting up slowly, the Japanese- German girl got to her feet and walked to wards the door to the balcony. Cracked open and letting the warm air in. A shaky hand reached for the door knob and pulled it open.Pausing for a moment, only to look through the screen before pushing it open.Slowly but Shirley, the girl made her way to the cement balcony.Leaning on the rail, the girl would sigh and stare down at the people.Mother's leading their young away from the parking lot, the elderly woman lounging in the pool on an inflatable water mattress. Lifeguards off to the side, chattering away about whatever they had seen on the latest episode of Survivor...Or whatever the buzz was to chat about.
Addie didn't know about current trend, fads, and favoured television shows. They didn't really interest her.
Leaning on the rail,Addie enjoyed the sunlight for a little while. She obviously didn't get out much anymore, but it didn't matter all that much,right? There was no reason to go out apart from work, no people that she knew.It was a new place to live, but she was making to attempt to make friends...To find a place where she belonged.It was all to make Torrin happy, to keep her safe and living with all she needed.
With enough time spent indoors, time spent alone. With the news, the newspaper, and television to keep one company.They are bound to realize just how screwed up people can be. Watching the stories about people attacked, the untimely ends of the innocent. Where were the police when everything happened, really. The criminals wander the streets, while people are consumed by paranoia about it all.Where to walk, who is dangerous.Perhaps, it was an exaggeration. Maybe she was crazy, but there was something she couldn't really forget. Addie couldn't let go of the fact, the person who had attacked her was still roaming the streets.Out there, attacking people,left with their freedom. Fears settled in as time progressed,Torrin stayed out later;leaving Addie to worry. The safety of the young girl,was her responsibility.After all, she did promise the Acker-Burr's the look out for their daughter. Even if Torrin had left Germany on bad terms with them, they still cared. They were her parents after all, the distance probably made them worry even more.
Wandering back into the apartment, the brunette looked around,weary blue eyes scanned the living room and kitchen.She hated what she had become,but it was just something she'd get through.Paranoia and fear would go away, she just needed to fight it. Nothing was going to consume her for long. Passing a mirror was really an eye opener for her. Just to see her reflection was enough to tell her that there was something wrong with her. Hair down, not braided,pulled back, or even pinned out of the way. Her clothes were plain, she was even wearing a shirt with a collar;something she hated very much so. Plain looks were not something that Addie really enjoyed, since she always loved standing out.Looking different in a crowd of people.
Standing before the mirror, her pathetic days of hiding out were revealed to her.
Pointed out her shame.
The weakness of her heart and just how fragile she was. After all, there was nothing before that could stop her, not even getting her butt kicked. She used to wear her wounds with a little bit of pride,showing she in a way was able to keep going without a care. One stupid thing and she crumbled, that wasn't like her at all.Shaking her head, Addie reached out for the mirror. Her fingers ran down the glass as she lowered her arm slowly. Turning away, the brunette headed back to her room.There was something bothering her. Lurking indoors wasn't exactly her thing.Upon entering her room, the girl pulled her shirt over her head and stood before the mirror once more.
It was just a scar,surely it wasn't the end of what she worked so hard to achieve. Her friends would probably laugh if they had seen what she had become. She was letting herself down, the people that had helped her grow stronger, and Torrin down. Something she couldn't forgive herself for. Crumbling and letting so much time pass by, for being such an idiot. Bringing a hand up to her shoulder, she'd trace over the scar, from her shoulder down to her waist. Looking at the mirror and laughing, laughing at it all. It was so stupid to think in such a way. Nothing would get done just moping around and dreading. That wasn't Addie's cup of tea.
Things had to change, she wanted to help;or at least push it along. Laughing, the girl sat down at the end of her bed and looked to the ceiling, before laying back. Rubbing her forehead, she'd push her fringe up and laugh a little more. it was funny, oh so hilarious. It couldn't be contained anymore,the laughter as she realized her foolishness and what had to be done. For Torrin, to ease Addie's heart. For everyone who has someone to worry about. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha, how could I not have realized this sooner?" Things needed to change and they would, one day. Until then, Addie wasn't going to crawl into a little shell and let herself change into a spineless person.
That wasn't who she was.
It was time to go back outside again.[/ul]
It had been a week or three since the attack, she didn't really go out much.Addie didn't feel like leaving the house, unless of course she was with someone. There was a lingering fear that seemed to consume her. People could be dangerous, right? Of course they were, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows in the world. She knew it all too well, after all. She was one a bad person too, a long time ago. Back in Japan.It was so silly, her motives at least. Years of changing, becoming someone else,all to be ruined by a single screw up. The confidence and strength she had gathered, seemed to wither away.
People can be so fragile.
Torrin was at school,or out..Or something. Addie didn't even know what day it was,all she knew was the apartment was empty. Although she was worried for the young girl, Addie knew she could handle herself. Torrin was a strong girl, but that didn't stop her maternal heart from worrying. One can not just stop caring, especially for someone so dear to their heart.The brunette stared out the window, unmoving, watching the drifting clouds. The windows were open,allowing the sounds of passing cars and cries and laughter from the children below. The tenth floor help the home of Addie Balfour...Watanabi and Torrin Ackers-Burr, a lovely and warm two bedroom apartment, with a balcony that overlooked a busy street,the pool, and the entrance for the parking lot. So lovely and such a steep drop.Perhaps it was a little too far off the ground.
Getting up slowly, the Japanese- German girl got to her feet and walked to wards the door to the balcony. Cracked open and letting the warm air in. A shaky hand reached for the door knob and pulled it open.Pausing for a moment, only to look through the screen before pushing it open.Slowly but Shirley, the girl made her way to the cement balcony.Leaning on the rail, the girl would sigh and stare down at the people.Mother's leading their young away from the parking lot, the elderly woman lounging in the pool on an inflatable water mattress. Lifeguards off to the side, chattering away about whatever they had seen on the latest episode of Survivor...Or whatever the buzz was to chat about.
Addie didn't know about current trend, fads, and favoured television shows. They didn't really interest her.
Leaning on the rail,Addie enjoyed the sunlight for a little while. She obviously didn't get out much anymore, but it didn't matter all that much,right? There was no reason to go out apart from work, no people that she knew.It was a new place to live, but she was making to attempt to make friends...To find a place where she belonged.It was all to make Torrin happy, to keep her safe and living with all she needed.
With enough time spent indoors, time spent alone. With the news, the newspaper, and television to keep one company.They are bound to realize just how screwed up people can be. Watching the stories about people attacked, the untimely ends of the innocent. Where were the police when everything happened, really. The criminals wander the streets, while people are consumed by paranoia about it all.Where to walk, who is dangerous.Perhaps, it was an exaggeration. Maybe she was crazy, but there was something she couldn't really forget. Addie couldn't let go of the fact, the person who had attacked her was still roaming the streets.Out there, attacking people,left with their freedom. Fears settled in as time progressed,Torrin stayed out later;leaving Addie to worry. The safety of the young girl,was her responsibility.After all, she did promise the Acker-Burr's the look out for their daughter. Even if Torrin had left Germany on bad terms with them, they still cared. They were her parents after all, the distance probably made them worry even more.
Wandering back into the apartment, the brunette looked around,weary blue eyes scanned the living room and kitchen.She hated what she had become,but it was just something she'd get through.Paranoia and fear would go away, she just needed to fight it. Nothing was going to consume her for long. Passing a mirror was really an eye opener for her. Just to see her reflection was enough to tell her that there was something wrong with her. Hair down, not braided,pulled back, or even pinned out of the way. Her clothes were plain, she was even wearing a shirt with a collar;something she hated very much so. Plain looks were not something that Addie really enjoyed, since she always loved standing out.Looking different in a crowd of people.
Standing before the mirror, her pathetic days of hiding out were revealed to her.
Pointed out her shame.
The weakness of her heart and just how fragile she was. After all, there was nothing before that could stop her, not even getting her butt kicked. She used to wear her wounds with a little bit of pride,showing she in a way was able to keep going without a care. One stupid thing and she crumbled, that wasn't like her at all.Shaking her head, Addie reached out for the mirror. Her fingers ran down the glass as she lowered her arm slowly. Turning away, the brunette headed back to her room.There was something bothering her. Lurking indoors wasn't exactly her thing.Upon entering her room, the girl pulled her shirt over her head and stood before the mirror once more.
It was just a scar,surely it wasn't the end of what she worked so hard to achieve. Her friends would probably laugh if they had seen what she had become. She was letting herself down, the people that had helped her grow stronger, and Torrin down. Something she couldn't forgive herself for. Crumbling and letting so much time pass by, for being such an idiot. Bringing a hand up to her shoulder, she'd trace over the scar, from her shoulder down to her waist. Looking at the mirror and laughing, laughing at it all. It was so stupid to think in such a way. Nothing would get done just moping around and dreading. That wasn't Addie's cup of tea.
Things had to change, she wanted to help;or at least push it along. Laughing, the girl sat down at the end of her bed and looked to the ceiling, before laying back. Rubbing her forehead, she'd push her fringe up and laugh a little more. it was funny, oh so hilarious. It couldn't be contained anymore,the laughter as she realized her foolishness and what had to be done. For Torrin, to ease Addie's heart. For everyone who has someone to worry about. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha, how could I not have realized this sooner?" Things needed to change and they would, one day. Until then, Addie wasn't going to crawl into a little shell and let herself change into a spineless person.
That wasn't who she was.
It was time to go back outside again.[/ul]
