Losing It (Mischa/Open)

[Ceraphine Davis]

T[/size]he sounds of sirens could be heard coming from down below, just outside thw window as ambulances made their leave to help those in need..While others came back, carrying with them the victims of some form of tragedy...

It was a hospital after all, so those sounds were to be expected...Though in all honesty it was not something that Kev thought she would be hearing any time soon since moving here.

But last night had gone all sorts of wrong. She had gone out, the dreams waking her up in a cold sweat and the voices pounding in her mind....It was maddening and no matter whta she tried she could not make them stop....

Then she had felt herself slipping and the only thing she could think was to get out of the house and away from Mischa. She did not think she could live with herself if Sasha came otu and harmed Mischa...in fact she knew that she couldnt....So she had gone for a run, the one thing that usually ended in the voices calming down and ceasing for at least a few hours...But after 4 miles, they were still as strong as ever.....

So left there, barely able to hold onto her own self thought because of the voices which screamed in her mind...She soon found herself outside a bar.....Inside she had been torn..She did not want to drink....she wanted to go home, curl up in bed and wrap her slender arms about Mischa.....But those in her mind had different plans.....

It was then she had entered...heading straight to the bar and ordering up a round of shots....Not paying much attention to the guy at the end of the bar who was checking her out with that hungry look in his eyes....

Several hours later, the voices had calmed down, she could hear herself think...and that was all she needed....getting up and heading outside into the cold night air.....The combinationof such with the alcohol causing her to stumble back into a wall as she laid her head bak .... eyes closing for just a moment...

It was a moment she would soon live to regreat..For suddenly their was a hand in her hair, jerking her slender and small body away from the wall and down into an alley just behind the bar....

Turned out the man at the end of the bar had different ideas about where she was going.....Though he had picked the wrong girl to fuck with....She had fought him off, beating him back as best she could...But not without cost to herself....

Several broken ribs....a busted lip, and bruises about her throat where he had tried to strangle her.....all in the shape of his large hand...In the end he had staggered off... Not wanting any more of what she had to offer.....

Finally alone, Kev had collapsed...her mind splitting in two as the boices struggled to get free....The pain so great it caused her to cry out and fall to her knees in that alley way....

She did not remember much after that.....The entire world going dark.......and though deep down, Kev rested inside the mind of the girl now laid here upon the hospital bed......It was not her.....

No, she had been switching personalities...backa nd forth.....It was upon Sasha's last appearance that the dioctors had ordered her to be restrained to the bed.....Pinningh er there as she growled and tried to get free......Nothing they said able to reach through the darkness to get ahold of the real Kev.....

Though deep down she struggled so desperately to get free.....

[Mischa Badoer]

1:00 AM...
...2:00 AM
3:00 AM...

4:50AM

It was too much now. Kevala would normally come at least around three in the morning. Now it was almost five and there was no sign of her. Mischa got out of bed and slid on some sweatpants and a form fitting tee shirt before getting the twins out of their cribs and into a car seat. They were still tired and basically asleep, so she didn't have to worry about them. Mischa just didn't want to leave the house without informing the nanny, but she didn't want to worry the woman about Kev's absence. Mischa drank a cup of coffee as she drove around looking for her. Why didn't she just call the police? Well, if she did they wouldn't go looking for her because it had yet to be twenty-four hours. Mischa knew Kev better so she also knew there was something wrong.

She also knew where to look.

First she stopped at a nice place. No one was there and it had been closed. And that was the case for all the other bars after. Now she leaned against the door of a grungy looking place as she slid to the ground. Sher buried her face in her balms and her elbows were supported by her knees. She was scared. She didn't know what she would tell the kids if she took the home and their mother wasn't home in the morning. She didn't know what she could tell herself.

She leaned her head against the door, trying to get the fresh air of the morning deep into her lungs before retiring back to the vehicle with the sleeping children. As she got up she thought she heard a whimper. Mischa paused, but after awhile for not hearing it she started for the car again only to hear it once more. She faced the ally as she heard the small noise again. She assumed it was a homeless girl, but for some reason her body kept walking towards the noise. Sh didn't know what she was doing, but she just kept walking.

She turned and looked down the ally. Everything was blue due to the morning shades and she saw the girl sleeping on the pavement. She didn't look properly dressed, and no not because she was homeless, but because she seemed... half naked. Seeing this, Mischa didn't want to leave until she knew the girl was alright. Homeless or not she was still a person. Mischa would approach the girl only to start in a running panic when she saw the blood. When she crouched down to check the pulse she was greeted by a feeling that was worse than seeing death. It was seeing Kevala near that fate.

"Fuck!"

She would try waking her up only to fail. She was beaten bloodied and she could smell the blood and alcohol on her. She needed to bring her to the hospital. She picked her up to the best of her abilities and drug her into the car. Mischa wasn't exactly calm and being quiet so when she slammed the car doors shut the kids woke with a stir and seemed uneasy from the feeling they were getting from Mischa?

"Mommy...?" little Kazumi muttered. Mischa didn't know if she had seen the condition of Kevala in the car or if they were just questioning the uneasiness that seemed to fill the hair. Mischa sniffled and kept driving to the hospital. She didn't look back at the kids 'cause she didn't want to worry them with the visual of her crying.

"We are just going to the hospital...Mommy has a booboo..." she was worried if that was saying too much.

-----------

Mischa sat in the waiting room. They were working on Kevala so Mischa had time to go home and give the kids to the nanny and get a pair of clothes on that didn't have blood on it. She returned and was given the list of all the things that had been to Kev.

It was attempted rape.

Mischa sat with her hands hugging a mug of coffee that a nurse had given her. Her stare was blank as the beverage remained untouched. The doctors then came out, panicked which didn't help Mischa's feelings settle. When she heard why they were panicked... it scared her further more.

Kevala wasn't co-operating...they had to strap her to the bed. They asked about any mental illnesses, but Mischa lied. She was too scared to tell the truth, scared they were going to take her away. Mischa blamed it on the even that had just taken place... said Kevala was just dealing with the shock of it all. Mischa then demanded to see her alone to try and calm her down. It took a lot of convincing but she finally she got in.

Mischa walked into the room and saw the girl writhe on the bed in a manner that anyone with broken bones shouldn't be. Mischa paused at the door, trying not to cringe at the sight of it all... trying to not break into a million little pieces. She took a seat down next to the girl. She caught a glimpse at the eye colour..it was crimson. For at least a few seconds there was green, but no blue...

No Kev.

"Sasha." her voice was calm. She was trying to get the attention of the girl. Hopefully making it where she wasn't focusing on self mutilation. "Sasha..." she said once again in a more stern voice. She was trying to keep a level head. She didn't want her to see her cry... let her know she was winning in the battle with Kev... that and Mischa was trying not to smack the girl... Yeah it was Sasha, but it was Still Kev's body. Now all she could do was try and be civil with the split personality. Seemed like a worthless attempt, but she was going to try anything may it be pathetic or not.

"Why are you doing this?"

[Ceraphine Davis]

C[/size]rimson eyes scanned the room once she was left alone...Tiny hands jerking against the restraints that held her down to the bed. FUCK! She needed out of here and fast....Before somebody........

The sound of her name caught her by surprise.....Usually people asked for that sniveling little bitch Kevala...But this..this was her name......She growled, eyes shifting to look toward the girl who had just entered.....

Ah yes....she knew this one....had caught glimpses of her in the memories she had stolen from Kev when her other half had not been able to stop her...........Mischa.....

She grinned....a twisted and sick little curl of her lips that spoke of nothing but evil and bad things to come...So this one knew who she was.......That only meant that Kev had warned the girl...She must indeed care about her..to go so far as to mention Sasha to her......It was cute really....but in the end it would do no good......

Then the question, those eyes narrowing upon the girl as she studied her.....Only for a moment before laughing softly...

"Why am I doing this? Silly girl..It is because I want control....I want to end the suffering that pathetic little bitch inside me continues to put us through.....She is worthless....weak....all she does is care and worry about those around her...instead of herself...It is sickening......I will see her dead....along with those blasted children she loves so much...Our kind should not be allowed to live......"

She growled once more and then shifted her body, again jerking at the restraints as she turned her eyes away from the girl...No real emotion other than pain and anger to be had from her as she raised her body up off the bed as best she could, only to be stopped and forced to lay back down....Damn restraints! She needed out of here..Needed to kill this stupid body before it did anything else they would live to regret.......

Hissing in pain as she felt the broken ribs throb against the movements she made...Though not letting them stop her as she continued to try and free herself....Crimson eyes with black flecks glancing up only once to make sure of the other girls position in the room. [/i]

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa sat back in the chair. She was collecting herself quite well at the moment. An eerie calm settled upon her. At least she was talking back to her, it was a start. Mischa wanted to talk it through..maybe talk some sense into the third sense...if that made any sense...0_0

Once she was finished talking, Mischa watched as the girl squirmed about trying to get free.

"You want to end the suffering that pathetic little bitch inside you continues to put you through?" she repeated. Making her tone sound as if the girl had said something so unbelievable. "Humph... Last I recall Kevala was happy... If she was happy... why are you so mad? It would appear to me she was doing better than she had a few years back couldn't you agree? And you obviously aren't aware of the fact she has a family that loves her. So... because you are so focused on yourself, you don't see how much other people spend on Kevala. You think she isn't helping herself... but she is. She is keeping up a family that cares deeply for her... Now if she was selfish like how you want her to be... would she have all this? Would she give me another look? No, she would be focused on herself." Mischa crossed her legs. Looking deeply into those crimson eyes.

"The only damage being caused that I see isn't from Kevala... but from you." she shrugged it off as if this wasn't being a big deal. "The way I see it..you should leave. 'Cause in my eyes, if you think that Kevala is in the wrong..you are an idiot." yeah she was pushing it... but it wasn't like the girl wasn't pushing any of Mischa's buttons. The girl just said she wanted to kill herself and Kev as well. Of course that would annoy her to no end. Mischa didn't want some crazy voice putting an end to her fiance's life.

[Ceraphine Davis]

A[/size]s the girl continued to talk on and on and on...Sasha kept her mind on trying to get free..Not really paying much mind to anything the girl had to say...Until of course she called her an idiot and accused her of being the problem....THAT got her attention...and fast...

"I would watch what I say if I were you...Don't forget who it is that is so close to destroying Kevala....To taking hold of her once and for all and being rid of that whiny personality forever...."

She then settled, laughing softly as she shook her head back and forth lightly...Mind running over everything that had occured as of late and the way in which she was slowly getting through....

"Does she tell you of her dreams...Of the ones where she watches me kill her.....of where she surrenders her life to me...Just to keep her precious little Mischa safe?"

It was a set of dreams Kev had never breathed a word of...she kept them locked away, because she knew that if Sasha ever got the chance she would try and hurt Mischa...and for that Kev would surrender her life to save that of the other girl.......

"It is all a matter of breaking her down...and then getting her to agree to just.....disappear into nothingness in exchange for the one she loves......So very close to.....Very very clolse....

With that Sasha turned back to what she was doing, hearing the groan of the restraints against the bed as she used all her strength to try and free herself. [/i]

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa didn't budge when the girl spoke. There was slight pause when she mentioned the dream. She knew Kev had bad dreams, but she assumed they were all around the same. It irked her she was saying this all, because Mischa knew it was the truth... she knew Kevala would let her do that.

"Oh yeah, she told me the dreams. You know what I have to say about that? I will shoot myself in the head before you make Kevala go through you killing me...Or better yet...If you do take hold... I could just as easily lock you up... make sure you live a long life. I will never let you have the gratitude of killing me..or my Kev... or our children."

Mischa leaned in a little closer. "And I will blame this all on you, because in truth... this is all your doing. Kevala would be living a normal life without you pestering her. You are blaming her because you are too ignorant to take full responsibility. List a time she put you through suffering... last night with the attempted rape? You probably think it's her fault for getting you three in that situation..But I'm pretty sure she picked up the bottle to make you shut the fuck up. If you weren't so God damn annoying I'm sure she wouldn't be putting herself into sticky situations."

Mischa slumped back into the chair and stared at the girl. "Do it...Admit defeat."

[Ceraphine Davis]

E[/size]very word that came from the other girl's mouth was enough to make her want to rip somebodies throat out...She hated that girl...she hated this place..this situation......

But then there was not much that Sasha did not hate...She was the result of all the anger and rage that Kev had kept locked away for so many years as a child....Unable to express it in any other way than to keep it hidden.......Now, there was Sasha and no matter what, the persona could not feel anything but pain and lonliness.....She had never known what happiness was and in truth she despised Kev for it.......

Jerking harder against her restraints she would growl loudly as the girl finished speaking and sat back in the chair....acting as though nothing was really that big of a deal.....It pissed Sasha off yet she could do nothing about it right now......

"I will have her....I will destroy her....and you will never stop me....She does not deserve to be happy...She does not deserve to have peace........I will make sure that she never gets it..."

Then just like that...those crimson eyes faded to hazel.....and instant fear took hold in them....She tried to move..tried to get off this bed...but she couldnt..Why could she not move?

Tears filled her eyes as she struggled to get free...Tried to make sense of it all.....Whimpering softly as paniced eyes scanned the room...Settling upon a girl..one she vaguely knew....but could not place in her current state of panic....

"W....Whats...g..going on?"

Her tone soft and broken as she trembled heavily upon the bed....Her entire form seeming to try and shrink into the bed and hide away from the world......[/i]

[Mischa Badoer]

Mischa's jaw clenched as the girl spoke of what Kevala deserved. Who was she to decide? Who's was it all? Even Kevala didn't or shouldn't know what she deserved. Mischa tried her best to not lose her temper further more towards Sasha, but luckily just in time her eyes shifted. They weren't blue so she was dealing with the other one. Though... from what she was learning, this one wasn't intimidating.

Mischa stood and approached the bed, stroking the cheek of Kevala's body and brushing the hair from her face.

"Shh... Katie? You're in the hospital. Kev was attacked..." she felt sorry for her...For the both of them for having to deal with Sasha. Mischa wanted to comfort them both... and if she did... wouldn't they both fight against Sasha? Couldn't there be a two against one deal? "You're safe...I'm here.."

She didn't know what to expect from this side of her, but so far she wasn't going to bring harm to Kevala... well... she didn't do harm yet. Mischa still had yet to find out why she was here and not her Kevala.

"Why did you come here?" her tone was softer with her than it had been for Sasha.

[Ceraphine Davis]

H[/size]er feet would push against the bed as she tried to scoot away, tried to move in some manner that would put more distance between herself and the girl who now spoke to her.

"I...I dont...know....S..Sasha makes me...and I....I dont want to....."

She would think over the rest of her statement before she let it pass from her lips....her eyes watering over as tears rolled down her face....She knew why she was here....the REAL reason she came to be...But would.........

What was her name.....?

What was her name?

Oh yes...Mischa.......

Would Mischa understand..?

"I....I am all of ....of Kevala's fear....and...and worry that she surpresses....that she hides.......Just as Sasha..is the..darkness and...rage...."

She did not know a better way to explain it all. She honestly did not....already feeling her mind begin to ache as Sasha raged out at the fact she had uttered a single word of this to Mischa....

Wincing as pain overtook her and her entire body began to tremble..........[/i]

[Mischa Badoer]

The way she spoke Sasha's name gave Mischa an annoyed tick in her mind. Well, both Kevala and Katie could agree Sasha was the bigger problem. Mischa felt bad for the two.

"I....I am all of ....of Kevala's fear....and...and worry that she suppresses....that she hides.......Just as Sasha..is the..darkness and...rage...."

Mischa stared at the girl. Man...Kevala must have hidden A LOT! That...and she thought that if you bottled in feelings you just got a tumor...not two extra personalities. Then..Katie/Kev/Saha started trembling in pain.

Now a little panicked Mischa approached the bed and hugged the girl, as well as holding her body as still as she could without inflicting pain on any broken bones or battered areas.

"Shhh calm down..Think of something nice... Like... Think of rainbows."

Rainbows? Best you can think of?!

Mischa scolded herself.

"Or...Or the twins?!" she was hoping the girl would like the twins. Sasha seemed to have beef with the two children. "Or maybe even a life without Sahsa!"

Man... if Mischa met Kev a lot sooner than she had... she would have made that girl express her feelings more... a lot of shit could have been avoided... She just wanted Kevala back >.>

[Ceraphine Davis]

K[/size]atie felt the girl hugging her and honestly it scared her even more...She was not used to human contact...Every time she ever came out, it was to suffer some form of pain that Sasha thought would be funny on the more timid and weak personality....

But this girl seemed to care...She seemed worried...and the emotions that rolled off of her were enough to give Katie a moment of pause........Finally working up the nerve to speak once more.....

"Y..You love her d..dont you?...

She thought this over...it was not like Katie to get into the middle of the war between Sasha and Kevala...She honestly just tried to stay out of it to avoid the other two being mad at her....But then, she had never really met anyone who truly loved Kev before like Mischa seemed to.........

So softly she would whisper...though in all honestly, the one she was trying to hide her words from, was the one who she could not avoid......Sasha.....

"She will not stop until she has destroyed Kevala....Sasha knows nothing but anger.....rage.....She feeds off our fears......every night she breaks Kevala down....Must convince Kevala to stay strong...not to give up...or you will lose her forever......."

And then just like that, with a cry of pain...Katie was gone....Eyes falling closed as her breathing became heavier and labored.....Small hands gripping the bed beneath her as pain seemed to fill every bit of her body.....Yet when those eyes opened ...they were once more that icy shade that Mischa knew so well.......

Kev looked about the room...eyes falling onto Mischa as she tried to make sense of what was going on and how she got here.....Fear....worry...anger....all this and more seemed to be coming from Mischa and honestly it worried Kev...Her hand trying to come up to brush hair from the girl's face..only to find that she could not........

Her own tears starting to form as realization sank in....

"They.....were here weren't they baby?.....I..I am getting too weak to fight them......"

Her words trailed off as she turned her head, too ashamed to look at the woman she loved right now....Worried the girl would not want her now that she had met the other two......

[Mischa Badoer]

"Y..You love her d..dont you?..."

Mischa nodded...then listened to what she had to say about Sasha. It worried her... and she didn't know what would be enough to pull Kevala out from the situation. What more ambition would there be than her children? It would be most definitely a hard task to defeat a personality. Mischa nodded just to have the girl "leave".

Mischa's eyes looked to the tiled floor as she heard her sweet, yet worried voice.

"They.....were here weren't they baby?.....I..I am getting too weak to fight them......"

Mischa shook her head at what the girl had to say. She didn't look her in the eye for one reason only.

"No... I'm certain we can get through this."

Because she didn't want to lie while looking in her eyes.

Mischa looked up after a moment of staring away from Kevala. Once she did Kev was looking away. Mischa sighed and unhooked the straps around her wrist and ankles. "You..You're gonna have to be in the hospital for a bit. Guess its a good idea... You're safe here... better than what I have at the moment." Mischa felt defeated. She couldn't think of how to save Kev... Especially when Kevala kept sneaking out and getting drunk to the point of some jerk trying to get to her.

"I would like this to be the last time you have to come here." she said in a stern voice. She was snappy.. somewhat annoyed that Kevala got back into her problem. It wasn't the fact that she got back into it... it was the fact Mischa was unable to prevent it. Was Sasha right? Was Mischa too involved in getting doted upon rather than pay attention to Kev's needs?

[Ceraphine Davis]

K[/size]evala felt the restraints being let go and as she heard tale of how she would be here for awhile she shook her head. She had been through worse than this and managed to get up and go home...NOTHING was going to keep her from crawling into bed tonight with Mischa...Not even those fucking voices that plagued her.....

Then as that last statement was uttered...Kev actually shrank back some...The thought of Mischa being mad....no matter at herself or at Kev, was enough to make Kev want to hide.....She would do anything to make it right...She knew that....and she would find a way out of this....even if she sensed the lie that had first slipped past Mischa's lips.....

No...I am going home with you...and I promise you...this will not happen again....I will find another way to make them stop........I promise baby....

Her tone was soft, near a whisper, as she timidly spoke up...It was not like Kev to be timid in any way shape or form...but when it came to the simple thought of pushing Mischa away she caved.....

She was already trying to think of how to keep the voices from coming back..how to keep Sasha at bay....how...if at all possible...she could keep things from getting too out of control...Yes, she fought for her kids...she fought for Mischa...but there was something else...there had to be......

Then it dawned on her....the one thing she wanted more than anything in this world........

"I am going to marry you.....and...I...I want us to have a child together.......

She bit her lower lip rather harshly as she mentioned this and then timidly lowered her eyes.......she wanted their lives to be complete...BOTH of them....no matter if she lost this battle she was fighting or not...she wanted to know that in the end she had everything she could have ever dreamed of and that Mischa had gotten everything from Kev that she could possibly give......

"I know....that is a lot to ask of you...and I understand if that is not what you want....But I love you...and...I want our lives......complete.......

She finally dared to risk a glance up toward the other girl.....still biting her lip...nervous as to what she might think or say at this moment.....

[Mischa Badoer]

"I am going to marry you.....and...I...I want us to have a child together....... I know....that is a lot to ask of you...and I understand if that is not what you want....But I love you...and...I want our lives......complete......."

Kevala was full of surprises. She will come up with the most weird things and the most odd of times. She proposes when getting scolded for selling the furniture...and she asks for children after just being possessed with two personalities that had caused her to get so drunk she had been beaten and nearly raped. Unpredictability was one of the things Mischa loved about Kev, but for some reason this request set something off in Mischa. Not because she was asking for a kid...It was because Kevala was rushing through their life. Nothing wrong was with going too fast... But Mischa thought she was just asking because she thinks she won't be here long. Mischa really didn't want those thoughts.

"Kev... Now is not the time to talk about it." Mischa stood up with a sigh and combed her hair back with her fingers, only to have it fall back in front of her face. "I'm going to ask the doctors if you can come home. Though you will have to be bedridden..." she then turned and left the room. Yeah.. she would want a kid and her asking of course made her think about it while walking down the halls.

Maybe it was a good idea.

Maybe it wasn't.

Mischa found a doctor and after some long convincing she won and she was allowed to get Kevala home. Mischa went out to the car and brought in a back pack that had some of Kev's clothes packed. After all the outfit she had on previously was bloodied and torn...

She came into the room looking at Kevala. "You're allowed to come home." she walked up to the bed and leaned over to give her a small kiss to somewhat apologize. "Sorry for acting so cross... Come on. I will help you get dressed." she said while she would help Kev up and trying so hard not to make the girl feel the pain of the broken bones in her chest. When she would be done getting dressed Mischa would wheel over a chair. "This was something I had to agree on for you to be able to come home... no walking for you for a bit." she said before approaching the girl to get her into the chair.

[Ceraphine Davis]

P[/size]erhaps she was rushing through their life...She knew that...But at the same time, when you were the one who felt like you were losing time...like what life you had was growing shorter and shorter, you tended to rush things.....

But as Mischa snapped at her, Kev actually shrank back into the bed....She was not really used to getting in trouble and actually feeling bad about it...Over the last few years...she had never felt bad for anything she did.......It was how it was and that was it....But every time Mischa got upset...it was torture.....

So as the girl spoke Kev would simply lower her eyes and nod...Not about to say anything else....She was not going to argue...Not here....not now.....

Then Mischa left the room and Kev's eyes shot up, looking about the room for her clothes....She was going home whether those stupid doctor's liked it or not......

But before she could get up, Mischa was back, once more Kev's eyes fell as she shook her head...hearing the apology and simply shrugging....which caused her to wince in pain...

"No..you have every right to be cross....I get that what I have done is wrong and I am sorry for that...I will never be able to say that enough....."

She then rose from the bed...Allowing Mischa to help her, as well as with getting dressed...another thing that really bit Kev in the ass but she allowed because she knew how much it meant to Mischa to be able to do such things....

Not to mention she was not about to push any buttons right now.....Nope....good Kev....nice, sweet, loving, behavin.......


Wait a damn minute.....

A wheelchair?

Those eyes flashed to crimson, as she narrowed her gaze..Okay so she was hurt....she got that....she had fucked up....again..something she understood...But a fucking wheelchair?

COME ON!!!

Growling softly as she felt her hands tremble....Yes, for all her good traits, Kev did have a very child like side of her that was not too fond of being treated like she could not do anything for herself.....

But.....

She knew what would happen if she didn't.....

Grumbling softly to herself she sat down in the chair...her arms crossing over her chest as she brushed her tongue over her lower lip.....

"You do know this wont last long right?"

She was just being honest...besides....not like she couldnt walk or anything....stupid doctors and their stupid orders......