Daddy's Home! (Nathaniel)

[nathaniel]

He wasn't really sure how things were going to go now. He put it out there, that he figured she'd be better with Mischa than with him. Well safer was more like it, but did it really matter? As long as she was with Nathaniel she would find herself in trouble whether or not she wanted to be involved, and in turn Zeke would be grabbed into it with them. He didn't want that to happen, but deep down he didn't want to go on with his life without being a part of theirs either. So he'd leave it up to Kevala, which when he thought about it wasn't the best idea. She wasn't the best judge of character, seeing as she fell hard in love with two separate Serans and was even willing to take one of them back multiple times. Maybe she could see something that he couldn't see, or simply didn't want to, but either way he'd sit there staring into nothingness as he waited for her to tell him what she wanted to do.

She had spoken out while their was a pause in his little speech to her, telling him that she wasn't one to keep secrets from those that she... Nathaniel knew how she would have finished that sentence, but if she didn't love him anymore than there was no reason for her to tell him about her ability. And if she did love him, than what was keeping her from just telling him instead of simply hinting that she did at one time? The constant conflicting thoughts were driving him insane, but he kept himself collected both on the in and outside as he lowered he head slightly. Her silence could only mean that everything that he had said was to no avail. She would realize that his words were true. The love that they had for each other had to be in the past, as their was a new love in Kevala's life. He would have to be satisfied with loving Ezekial from a far, and nothing more.

And then, like the hand of God, if he even existed, Nathaniel could feel Kevala's press gently against his jaw, gently pushing it to make him look back into her gorgeous eyes. With their eyes once again locked, Nathaniel waited to hear what she had to say, whether it was good or bad. She told him that she couldn't lie to him about loving Mischa, which made him back away only slightly, but then she finished her sentence. She told him that she was no good for Mischa, and that if they stayed together she would destroy the poor girl. The funny thing was, that was exactly how Nathaniel felt about Kevala being with him, but he was too self-centered to want to simply let her go like Kevala was able to with Mischa. She even didn't care about all of the other women that he had been with, saying that she hadn't exactly been perfect in the past two years either.

She then slowly traced her hand down his neck, scratching him ever so lightly, and continued until she reached his chest in which she stopped. She was now feeling his heart beat, which she would find was relatively calm for the kind of situation that he was in. She would also grab his hand that was on her on the counter and place it on her own heart. He could feel her heart pounding beneath her skin, getting faster and faster with every passing second. He seemed to have some sort of effect on her, something that made it impossible for her to resist being with him. Sure, there was something special about her, something that made her different from all of the other women that he had been with, but unlike Kevala he could control himself. He had trained his body to be calm in any situation, and to only let the adrenaline take its course when it was truly needed.

Their eyes met once again, and this time there was no doubt, no pain, no questioning in his eyes as he stared back into her lustful gaze. And before he could even confirm his thought she spoke the words that he had been waiting to her since he arrived in her house. That no one else could make her heart race or her body tremble like he could, and that was because he was her one true love. A sly smile would spread over his lips as he took in her delectable words. It was like a feast for his emotions, and something that he had never truly felt before. Everything was so overwhelming, to feel love, actual love, for once in his life. If it had been anyone else they probably would have had tears of joy running down their face, but Nathan simply smiled in accomplishment as he had done what he went there to do.

She said that she told him all about herself because he had the right to know, and she didn't care if he shut her out, simply because he wanted to give him the knowledge and the right. He couldn't help but smile even more upon hearing her say those words, a smile much like the one he had on his face right before the two of them first made love. It showed that he was the one in control, and he always got what he truly wanted, and at that time he wanted his family to accept him. Now, what was next now that he had finished what he had came there for? Well, as she began to lick his lips and grip at his chest he could only guess, right before she turned him around and pinned herself against the counter. She tugged on his shirt, making his move his head right down so that they were face to face, their lips only having an inch between them.

She told him that she wanted to see the Nathaniel that she came to love so much, placing her hand on his lower back and digging her nails into his skin through his shirt. It seemed to him that she wanted to recreate the first time they met, and so he decided to play along for awhile. He would move his head back a little, so that she could see his entire face, before slowly blinking and chuckling to himself. "You want the man that you fell in love with, do you?" He'd say, right before pressing his lips against her own and beginning to passionately kiss her. He would wrap his arms around her, on around her left should and the other clasping her ass tightly as he started to slowly rub himself against her. The friction would quickly bring the heat between them to a new level as moved his other hand down to lift her up and guide her legs to wrap around him, moving to kick her neck and chest and she sat gently on the kitchen counter.

After a few more seconds of kissing her neck, he was about to go for the puncture and truly get the blood flowing, but he could hear over the soft moaning and panting the sound of a infant making noises over the monitor. And so, without a warning he stopped what he was doing, gave her one gentle kiss on the lips and began to carry her toward the door to the living room. He would stop right before the door, looking at her with that arrogant look that he had whenever he was about to be a smart ass. "Well, I suppose we should stop this and go check on our son, right dear." He'd say with a couple of humorous laughs following. "Remember, you said that you loved the 'kind' and 'caring' man that hid behind the masks." He would continue to laugh at himself in amusement as he stood there with her in his arms. "So, do you want me to put you down before we go out and check on him, or do you want him to see his parents all hot and heavy with each other? I mean, I'm fine with either way, I'm just thinking about the kids innocence." He would continue to softly laugh as he waited for her to answer him.

[Ceraphine Davis]

She knew he could control his emotions. He was a Seran, they were the type to always keep things locked away, keep their emotions calm. Something that Gabriel had tried to get through to her. But when she had been able to do so, when she had shown the same lack of emotions that he constantly thrust at her, he had demanded she return to the way she was.

Her emotions were what drove her, what made her who she was, and without them, she was nothing. Her fighting had suffered, her life as well. Unlike the Seran family, who did better without emotions to blind them, she was the opposite......thrived on them......needed them.......and honestly, they needed it to. They needed her passion and her emotional drive sometimes, even if they didnt know it.

She was everything they could not be, and above all else she just accepted it for what it was, them for them.....Never once did she wish to change Gabriel, and she had never thought to change Nathaniel. She had always known that if the Seran men were going to change it would be of their own, natural evolution....Not by the hand of another, at least not by force.

The second she tried to do that, Nathaniel would turn away. In her mind, he needed somebody who took him as he was, flaws and all, and loved him unconditionally.......Not somebody that wanted him to stop being who he was and change to make them happy. Where was the love in that?

Yet she could not help but breath in his scent as he lowered down to her, his words spoken just before his lips pressed against her own. It was a familiar yet lost feeling she had been longing for, for so long. A soft little moan escaping the back of her throat as her eyes slid shut, breathing just a bit heavier as his hand slid over her form.....

Soon enough his grip tightened on her ass, lifting her up as her legs wrapped about his waist, her tongue slipping forth and brushing over his lower lip hungrily. That taste shooting straight into her memory and firing up those old hungered feelings that she had felt two years ago and still felt in this moment and was sure now that she always would.

But then he broke away, his words firing up that fire in her eyes as he shifted to carry her to the doorway....His words just a tease, and though she felt the inside of her growl with its own need she shook her head and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips one last time, head quickly shifting to bite his neck rather roughly before she shifted about and down out of his arms....

A sweet little smile curling onto her lips as she cast her innocent little look up to him. Hey...Just because she had problems controlling her emotions MOST of the time, it didnt mean she was completely incapable.

"Hmm, you are right. Don't know what I was thinking. I am sure that you have so much more to want to do than be with me. Its only been two years...whats a couple more days?"

She then flashed him a teasing and just evil little grin and turned about, her head pushed back over her shoulder as she slowly strolled away from him....her soft, curvaceous hips rocking slowly back and forth with each move she made......

Oh she knew that she COULD in theory be a tease.....but these men were not the normal, so it took a bit more or they never showed it......But she could live with it.

Either way, she made her way back into the living room, eyes falling over Zeke as he played with his blocks, building them up into a tower to destroy them with his little hands. Never anything else....always his hands.....Seran....that was all she could think when she saw him do this.......

Letting out a soft sigh she would bite her lower lip as she waited for Nathaniel to join her, her body sinking onto the couch and curling into the corner created by the arm of such....Her eyes going to his, where ever he chose to position himself, as she simply shifted to a bit more serious question.

"So what now?"

It was three little words, nothing major, and yet it held within them such great uncertainties. It was uncharted area for them both, she knew that...Sure she had relationships but nothing like this....They were not just able to "start out" like most, they had a son, and that had to be taken into consideration. Not to mention she was curious as to what he would want from this point. She had long given up on trying to predict what Gabe would want so she was not about to try and predict Nathaniel. Just a fools game she was not going to play.

Go with the flow, and never back down. It had held her in place this long, she only hoped it would continue to do so.

[nathaniel]

So there they were, standing right by the door to the living room where there son was doing God knows what with his toys and such. Nathaniel had played his cards, telling Kevala that he wanted them to stop what they were doing and check on their son. This was partly a tease on his part, using the words that Kevala had told him when she was vulnerable and making them backfire right when she was about to get exactly what she wanted, but at the same time their was a deeper reasoning for him denying her. He didn't want thing to go down the same road that they had back when he was with Kevala in San Fransisco. All that they had was a relationship built around sex, and if things were going to work this time around he had to make a change. How much of a change there would be was unknown to him, but he would still try.

He knew what the stereotypical serious relationship was like, and he was positive that he wouldn't be able to be the type of boy friend that many women were looking for. He was still going to look at other women, flirt with other women and fuck other women while he was with Kevala and nothing was going to change that. He wasn't exactly sure how she's react if she ever caught him in the act, and he wasn't about to let her catch him. But even though he acted like that, there were still some things that he could do to make things work. He could spend time with Kevala and Ezekial, go to the park and act like they were a normal family. He could be a real father to Ezekial, letting him know the truth about the things that most other adults would lie about to him simply because he was a child. Sure, Kevala would probably beat him for telling their son some of the things he inevitably would, but it that was how he was. No changing that.

Finally, after about five or so seconds of him laughing at what he had brought up to Kevala, she brought her head up to his and planted one last kiss on his lips right before giving him a quick bite on his neck. This was more than likely just her trying to get him to remember the times they had together, and to make him regret his choice to go and check on their son, but he would simply grin and shake his head at her as she lowered herself back onto the ground in from of him. He knew that she knew he could deny her whenever he wanted, though the only times he would do so would be when he wanted her to learn something. He wondered if she could tell his true reasons for stopping, wondered if she could tell what he was feeling deep down now that he was keeping her own. She would have to get to know more about him the old fashion way, and he knew that she would have her hands full if she truly wanted to learn more.

She spoke out to him, her words having that teasing hint of sarcasm as she smiled up at him. She told him that they went two years without being with each other, so what was another couple days? He would smack her butt as she turned around, walking away from him with a devilish grin and a certain flirty sway to her step. She sure new how to get a guys attention, but unlike all of the other men she had seduced, Nathaniel could completely overlook anything that she did if he wanted to. He could make any woman feel like they were nothing to him like that. In fact, this was one of the things that he resorted to when a call girl started showing feelings for him. It made so many girls run for the hills, never getting back in touch with him again, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He only hoped that Kevala could handle that little quirk of his as well.

He would follow Kevala into the living room, watching her as she went and took a seat in the far corner of the couch. Be would be right behind her, but would sit on the opposite end of the couch, now looking down at his son with a little grin. He watched as Ezekial would build up his building blocks into a tower and knock them down. The child didn't even know that he was already acting like a Seran. Building up something great only to have it destroyed at the peak of its perfection. It had happened to Nathaniel many times in the past, and his hand was involved in the destruction of more than half of the great things he had achieved. He only hoped that things would be different this time around. He already had a few towers slowly building up, with his night club and now his newly brought together family, and he didn't want for them to be destroyed any time soon.

Kevala then asked three simply words of him, though the true question behind those words was far harder to answer than one would think. So what now? He truly didn't know exactly what to do at the moment. There were so many things that they could talk about or do at the moment, and she was leaving it up to him to decide. He would let out a long sigh, stretching his arms about his head, as he moved his body over to the middle of the couch and turned into a laying position. He placed his head on her lap, looking up at Kevala with his captivating emerald eyes before looking back at their son. "Does he even understand who I am?" He'd say, his words far more serious than they had been only moment before hand. "If we're going to keep him safe we need to get Gabriel involved in his life. He needs to know that he has a nephew."

He would now turn his gaze back to Kevala, bringing his right hand up to move some of her hair gently behind her hair, brushing his hand gently against her cheek in the process. He truly didn't care if Gabriel knew about his son, as he wasn't sure how Gabriel felt about himself, but he did want to get in touch with his brother again and this was an easy way to get in touch with him. He would take her right hand and bring it to his mouth, kissing it and then bringing it to lay on his chest with his own right hand. "Maybe we should talk about when you want him to come visit me? I've got a new club in the city, and my apartment is secure enough so that no one will get in without my say so." He was trying to get her to let him take their son every so often during the week. He was the kids father, but he knew that Kevala would still have concerns about leaving Ezekial in his care.

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala sat there, watching every move as Nathaniel moved to take a seat at the opposite end of the couch from her....A gentle brush of her tongue to her lips as she spoke and then waited on his reply.

But first he moved, his body settling in the center of the couch as he moved to lay down, his eyes going up to her own and then down to their son.....His tone much more serious as he spoke, his touch felt against her cheek before he would take up her right hand and kiss it softly, a smile spreading across her lips as she looked down at him with both affection and a bit of worry. She knew he may not like the answer to his question, or anything she was about to say, but she was not about to lie....

As her hand was placed to rest upon his chest, his hand covering it, her free hand came up and gently brushed against his hair, her eyes wandering slightly as she nibbled upon the corner of her lower lip a bit......A nervous habit she had since childhood.....

How could she really answer him without feeling badly? It was impossible....Softly, she sighed, her eyes lowering to find his own once more as she shook her head.....

"There is no need to find him. I already have...I found out he moved here and I wanted so badly to hurt him, but when it came down to it, I could not...Zeke needed somebody from your family in his life...I could not let that part of him remain hidden....."

She returned to biting her lip, eyes averting from his own as she continued to lovingly brush her delicate fingers against his hair, content with the moment, even if the subject matter had taken on a tone she did not enjoy......

"I told him about Zeke....told him it was your son....He demanded to see him...so I brought him here...He has been ever watchful and protective of him ever since...No harm allowed near Zeke less it meet with Gabriel's wrath....."

She then looked to Zeke who was looking at them both and smiling, a curious look in his eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on....what this was all about and who this new man was......

"Zeke....well, he is so young, and Gabriel is the first man in his life who has taken care of him, fed him, loved him....He is confused slightly.....he believes Gabriel is his Father.....But he is a bright boy, he catches on quickly to things children twice his age would miss....So I believe that is what he is doing now.....Learning who you are....."

She finished by casting a nervous glance toward those stunning emerald eyes....She loved the way they looked, the way they looked at her compared to those around her....Despite his need for other women, he never looked at them as he looked at her now......Which was enough for her....Others may not understand that, but she did and that was enough......

Finally she would move her hand from his hair and brush it against his cheek...A loving gesture as she struggled for the words....Trying to explain how things currently stood.....

"Just trust me, he will know, tell him, spend time with him...Just be his Father, that he needs...I am sorry that he thinks Gabriel is his Father but, at the time, I did not think I would ever see you again or that if I did you would want him, let alone us.....And Gabriel keeps trying to get it through his head that he is Uncle Gabriel...but Zeke can be stubborn....Like his Dad...."

She flashed him a sheepish little smile, teasing at him as she tried to ease her own personal worry about the whole situation....Yet there was still the matter of his second series of questions to address.......Him keeping Zeke on occasion. The thought of which shot through her mind as she laid her head back on the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling....

"As for keeping him.....Nathaniel, I know you cannot be with just me, I know what you will do in the club and how your need for a womans company can be....I am no fool, and I am fine with it, so long as your heart belongs to me....and so long as I do not have to lay witness to it.......I..If I let him go with you, you cannot do such things, or I cannot promise what will happen if I find out......

I love you...yes, unconditionally, for who you are....The flirting, the way you dismiss them as nothing, the way you look at them with that hungry stare.....I know it should bother me, but it doesn't....perhaps hurts a little to watch when I am right there...But, nothing I cannot learn to adapt to..........But I do not need him to know of it....Not now....Let him have at least some of his childhood before our lives steal it away from him completely?"

She then lifted her head and shifted her gaze back down to him, eyes shimmering with tears as she brushed her tongue over her lips. Yet she did not hold his gaze, instead she turned and wiped her eyes as she sniffled just once, in that instant Zeke letting out a small sound of discomfort.....

Shit...he was getting stronger at reading her emotions....Quickly she put up her wall that she had built for him....No longer wishing for him to feel what she felt inside right now.....

"Just understand that I have my flaws as well, and that I cannot give them up easily...Just as you cannot....But I will work to control them.......for you...."

Could she promise she would never flirt? No, she always would do that.....Could she promise she would not sleep with a man who truly interested her? No, but then it was very rare for that to happen...But she could promise that she would never love anyone but him and that she would remain faithful to him against the random people she chose to hook up with like he did....She did not need it that badly...heh.......But sometimes she could not stop herself, her other half taking over.......

Falling silent she looked back to him with pale blue eyes, nearly white in color as the sadness she locked in showed in the only way her body knew how to handle it.......

[nathaniel]

Nathaniel layed there, the calming movement of Kevala's body moving ever so slightly with every breath and heartbeat making him forget any worries that he had about the future, if only for a moment. He had never wanted to just spend time with someone so badly in his life, without any worry, but even at that moment there was a building tension as his words left his silver tongue. He knew this would not be a comfortable conversation, one way or the other, because of the things that he already knew even before arriving at her house. He knew that Gabriel was in San Diego. He knew that they had been keeping in touch, though the extent in which their meetings went was beyond his knowledge. He simply brought it up because he wanted to know more, needed to know more, about how she felt about Gabriel. They had a history, one far more intense and complicated than their own, and he needed to know that his brother was not a threat to his plans.

So he layed there, listening as Kevala began to explain just about everything that she could, or at least wanted to, about everything that had been going on with Gabriel. She had hunted him down to hurt him, but in the end couldn't because she needed at least one part of their son's family in his life. Nathaniel would close his eyes as Kevala continued to bite her lip nervously. She was far too easy to read in the state she was in, but he knew how easily she let her guard down in front of him so he just closed his eyes so that he could only her the way she spoke her words. It was a courtesy in his opinion, and at the same time a little bit of practice. Sure, you can try to read peoples' intentions and thoughts through their body language, but the person that can sense things through nothing but the tone of their voice was a true master of his craft.

She continued to talk about Gabriel, gently running her fingers through his hair as she did so. He had actually demanded to see his nephew, and when he got the chance he accepted him as family? Nathaniel was surprised to hear this, thinking that Gabriel would do anything to get back at the brother that he seemingly hated. This was going off of the last time that they had ever spoken to each other which left the two of them bruised and bloodied, leaving the scene of the fight without a single word to each other. Now Gabriel was becoming his son's protector? He didn't know what to think, other than that he was maybe trying to gain Kevala and his son's trust to use them against Nathaniel later. He wouldn't put it past Gabriel, after all he was a Seran and they were known for gaining the trust of those that served a purpose to their goals. He'd have to discuss this with Gabriel at a more opportune time.

His eyes remained closed as she told him that Ezekial saw Gabriel as his Father. Even though she said that Gabriel would repeatedly tell him that he was his uncle, Nathaniel's thoughts about his brother continued to swirl like a storm in his mind. He had to know Gabriel's motives in all of this, and fast. Maybe he was simply over thinking things, and Gabriel really did only want to be nothing more than an uncle to his son, but there was always that chance for him to be right about Gabriel. One thing did make him grin, as layed their in silence, and that was that their son was just as stubborn as he was. The boy would go far, as long as he had the right guidance in his life. It would be a confusing upbringing, with a some very different parenting styles and opinions, but he knew that Ezekial would be able to take it. After all, he was a Seran, and his son for that matter.

Then came the answer that he had been waiting to hear since he first walked through the front door. He wanted to know how she felt about him taking their son every so often to live with him. As she spoke, he could hear the concern, and the hesitation, in her voice. She told him that she knew what kind of life he lived, with all of the women and everything always being a part of his life, and she told him that if their son was with him there would be no other women in the apartment with him. This was understandable, and he figured that he could go a day or two without getting his fix of female attention. It was for his son after all. Ezekial didn't need to see, or hear for that matter, his father getting it on with some random lady that definitely wasn't his mother. Nobody should have to see that, let alone a child that isn't even two years old.

He felt her shift ever so slightly, causing him to open his eyes again and catch her gaze, her bright blue eyes tearing up slightly as she seemed to be thinking about something that she wasn't telling him. He could only guess it had something to do with him being with someone else, and so he lifted his free hand to wipe any tears that fell down her still flushed cheeks. He then saw her look over at Ezekial, which caused him to turn his gaze over as well. The child sat there, a look of worry plastered on his face as he stared at his mother. The kid was good, that was for sure. Being able to tell how his mother was feeling and reacting so strongly toward it? He was going to be dangerous when he learned how to truly control that ability, and his father would be there to show him how. And so Kevala would once again build up the wall that Nathaniel had broken down, just so her son didn't have to worry about her.

She finally admitted that she too had her flaws that she wouldn't give up, just as he wouldn't give up his own right away. They would both have to work long and hard on becoming better for their son, and for each other. He could see her eyes change color, from her normal blue hue to a pale, almost white color. He had seen this happen to her before, just about whenever they had sex in the past, but her eyes turned red instead. He could only guess that the color change had to do with emotion, and seeing her tear-filled eyes made him guess that white could only mean sadness. Whatever she had to feel sad about, either she wasn't telling him or she already had and he didn't see what the big deal was. He wasn't going to pry, instead letting her deal with her own issues as he brought her hand his lips and kissed it once more.

"I suppose I'm glad to hear that Gabriel is taking such a keen interest in Ezekial...." He would say, his words giving off a hint of judgment as they left his lips. "But until I have a word with my brother, I want you to be careful around him. We may be blood, but the last time we talked we didn't exactly leave each other on good terms." He'd pause to look up at Kevala with complete seriousness. "He's a Seran. There's no telling what we'll do to hurt someone." With that, he would look over at Ezekial, his eye full of worry for him. "If anything happens to our son when he's around, anything at all... I'll kill him." His words seemed to echo through the silence of the room, making even Nathaniel's hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He could kill any of his relatives without a second thought, but did he have the inner strength to deal with the death of his only true family, let alone killing him himself?

"As for Ezekial living with me, you don't have to worry. When I've got him there will be no strange women wondering into the apartment to see his father, that I can promise you. Besides, I think he'd really like the club when its quiet during the morning. I could have all of the lights going around and play some music quietly. He'd enjoy that... I think. Children like colors and blinking lights right?" He'd say, turning to look up at her with a slightly confused look on his face. He didn't know the first thing about children, but he was sure that he could definitely get some of the girls at the club to help him out. "Either way, I'm sure he'll love it." His eyes would shift to look at the ceiling, a stare of intense thought evident in his eyes as he looked at the pale nothingness of the ceiling. "Now, if you don't mind me asking, why were you about to cry just now?" His gaze shooting back to her white eyes as he pointed over to Ezekial with the hand that held her own. "Don't think I didn't noticed."

[Ceraphine Davis]

She sat there, every movement of his eyes taken into account, every little shift of his body. Just like a true Seran he laid there, still and calm, just listening. Most women thought they knew what they were getting into with these men, wanted to love them, and then didn't know how to handle them...Took offense to their little actions such as this.....

Kev? Kev just leaned her head back and rested it against the couch, finishing up her little talk and then listening as he spoke. He took the issue of Gabriel a bit better than expected but then came forth the comment of killing him......Her entire body tensed out of instinct though she reigned in the emotional shock wave she usually sent out when those kind of words were mentioned.....

Releasing her muscles she relaxed once more, easing herself into knowing that Gabriel would not hurt Zeke...Her? He had done so many times and a few times had been with malice....But Zeke, she did not believe so......

Either way she did not interrupt, she just let him continue on with his words, her eyes falling closed as she laid into the back of the couch contently, her fingers which rested over his chest lightly tracing over him, an idle, affectionate gesture as she simply soaked up the comforts of being with somebody who loved her...She had wanted to be with him, just like this, so many times and had turned away from showing it each time.....

As she felt the burning behind her closed eyes she sighed, fuuu she hated locking these blasted things away...It was the whole function of the bracelet, to let them out.....to keep her head clear....keep her from losing it.........

As he finished by telling her that he would restrain himself around other women when he had Zeke and asking about kids liking lights and such she smiled and cast her gaze down to him, nodding softly. Reassuring him that indeed he was right in his assumption.....

Then out of nowhere he asked about the tears she had shed, noting his hand motioning toward their son......She turned her eyes away.....sighing softly......

"It is a mixture of things I suppose. The fact that for so long I have wanted you, wanted this, and yet....I was too scared.....I have not shown fear since I was raped, right before moving to Long Beach....To have done such, to you, it hurts me inside.....

Then of course, there is the natural female emotion of jealousy, that I can control but that when I lock away my emotions tends to get the better of me. It is just that small nagging worry that perhaps I am not enough...Perhaps some other girl will come along who is prettier or better in some way.....Though I know I will just end up torturing her and ripping her pretty little head off....It is still there......"

She didnt bother to feel the least bit shy about her words...She was fully aware of what she would do....It was something she could not help........

"Also, it is partially my own regret of my own addictions....My own hungers I cannot control at times. I try to gain control, but my emotions wont let me...I have only manged to do so one time, and Gabriel broke down the walls, demanding I show my emotions, saying I was not me without them....Even though he knew why I had done it......

So now, they gain the best of me at times, and though I try to pretend that I am okay, sometimes it is harder than others.....

It is nothing. It is just, me.....The me that came out every time I left your bed......emotions running wild, that need increasing....and my grip on myself slipping......."

She then shook her head, a gentle flick of her tongue to her upper lip as she returned her free hand to brushing lightly against his hair.......

"Besides, things have not been so good for me as of late, my life falling apart, my mind reverting......urges resurfacing.....it is all a bit much....."

She shrugged, it was just a matter of fact to her, nothing more and nothing less......Finally she lifted her head once more, looking down at him with those pale eyes.....Sighing softly as she bit upon her lip......

"I suppose that if you can keep yourself from the women while he is around, then you may see him whenever you wish....I will not stop you....He is as much your son as he is mine...."

She then laid her head back and sighed as she cast a glance up to the ceiling......Mind starting to get worked up, emotions breeding more emotions until that wall around the part of her she kept locked away began to break.....slow steady thoughts invading her mind, thinking of the things that side of her longed for....needed.......the air around her shifting.....No need for any special gift to notice it....it was what it was..........

[nathaniel]

Nathaniel, in his own unique way, wanted to learn as much about the woman that he was starting a whole new relationship with, and so he would cleverly work his way into all of the truths that she hid behind her defenses. He wanted to know why she was feeling the way she was, why her eyes changed colors and simply why she didn't just let everything out like so many other women that he had been with. Sure, she was definitely not like any of those women at all, but when they had been together before she let her emotions come forth way easier than she was at the moment. She had cried before, as he had seen the tears falling down her face, so whatever changed the color of her eyes was something more than just raw emotion. Maybe it had something to do with her ability to feel other people's emotions or something. It could have some sort of effect on her mind and body, causing some sort of overload.

These were all simple assumptions that had come to Nathaniel's mind as he laid contently on Kevala's lap, waiting for her to reply to the many things that he had to say. He was sure that his words about his brother would cause her to yell at him, especially since he told her that he would kill him if he had to. There was no hesitation in his words, which had meant that he could break any ties if the reason behind doing so was good enough. Could he kill her, or even their son, if the need truly arose? Without a doubt, which was something that scared even him. Did Kevala know how far he would go to make the things in his life run smoothly? Probably not completely, but he knew she had an idea, and that was all that she needed. She would worry about Gabriel's safety either way, and there was nothing he could do about it. He just hoped that if the time came to choose sides she would make the right decision.

Her body tensed up as he finished his words, meaning that he had definitely said something that hit a cord with her. What it was could have been anything, but he was sure that she would bring it up in one way or another. And so he just waited for her to regain her composer and respond in whatever way she was going to. She had averted her gaze from him, as he hinted that he had seen the change in her eyes. He was sometimes too good at getting to the core of someone, and the last thing he wanted to do at that moment was break Kevala. He just wanted to figure her out, and that was a part of it. Nothing more... right? Well, anyway, she finally came back into the conversation with a further explanation into the complexity that was Kevala. He laid there, looking at their son play with his blocks, listening to her words as she spoke them.

Her tears were due to a mixture of emotions because she wanted to be with him, but she was too scared in the past. She had not been truly scared since the time she got raped, so for her to run in fear from him must have hurt her after all they had just gone through. He was now being the kind of man that she never thought he would be in a million years, and he could only guess that she hated herself for thinking so lowly of him. She also had a constant nagging jealousy about Nathaniel being with other women, that he would find someone better than her, but if she ever caught him with another woman she would feel her full wrath. A part of Nathaniel wanted to see what that entailed, but he quickly locked that little idea in the deepest part of his mind. It was never smart to play with such powerful emotions so blindly, as things never turned out well.

After the bit about her causing harm to any woman that she caught being with him, he would actually get up and move over to the play pen where Zeke was, picking him up as Kevala continued on with the conversation. She talked about her emotions, and how they were so strong that they were able to take control at times if she let her guard down. She constantly had to fight for control with inner demons that were obviously more powerful than Nathaniel's own. But unlike Kevala, Nathaniel had taken all of the monsters and darkness inside and made it part of who he was. Sure, it caused him and the people around him countless pain and suffering, but at least he never had to worry about losing control... Well at least almost never. He rarely ever slipped up, but when he did he really made a mess of things.

At least she was willing to let him have their son as long as he kept a safe distance from all of the women that either worked at or frequented his night club. When he heard that he turned around so that Ezekial could see his mother, a charming grin on Nathaniel's face as he walked over to the couch and sat down next to Kevala with his son in his lap. Oh, if only they had a camera it would have been the perfect moment to take a family photo. Kevala wrapped up in her emotions, Ezekial worrying about his mother and Nathaniel trying to make everything better again. "We all have our own way of dealing with our darker sides. You chose to keep them locked away until they either escape or you decide its the write time you unleash them, while I've simply let it become a part of me. Don't ever let someone tell you to change how you are, because at this point in your life its impossible."

Did he truly believe the words that came out of his mouth? No, not at all in fact. You could always change if you truly wanted to, but he knew he wasn't going to and he didn't want Kevala to change either. If she changed there was the chance she would leave him for something that better suited how she was, and he wasn't gonna let that happen. "You don't have to hold those emotions in around me. Hatred, sadness, pain, happiness, love, I can handle anything you decide to throw at me. That's what it means to love someone. To be there through the highs and lows." He'd say to Kevala with a reassuring look on his face. Then he would turn his gaze to his son, who still had a couple of blocks in his hands. "As for our son, I'm sure he'll find his own way to deal with whatever darkness enters his life, but he won't have to do it alone." His eyes closed, he would let out a soft sigh. "Not like I did..."

[Ceraphine Davis]

Kevala continued speaking even as Nathaniel stood up and moved over to where Zeke was playing, her eyes following his movements as he lifted up their son and moved to return to his seat beside her, Zeke nestled in his lap.

She honestly could not help but let a little smile touch her lips as she reached out and brushed her soft fingers against Zeke's cheek. Hmm..maybe he really was squishy like Gabriel continued to say. The thought being pushed back though as she sighed and laid her head on the back of the couch, her body turning slightly toward them as Nathaniel began to speak.

So, he did not mind that she stayed as she was? Heh...She wished she could be that confident, but she always had doubt...How could she not? Her life bred nothing but doubts and worry......Yet she said nothing, not yet at least....The talk of his darker side waking up her own in her mind, allowing it to purr and claw at the corners of her thoughts, wanting to come out, wanting to play...Yet she just closed her eyes and lifted her small hand to her temple rubbing softly as she sighed and once more fought it back.......

Then the conversation turned to mention of their son, his life undoubtedly going to be experiencing many dark times...It was something she wished she could protect him from, but between his Mother, Father and Uncle being the biggest influences upon his life.....it was bound to happen.

She knew that, and it scared her, yet she would never let Ezekial know that. No matter what it took she would do what must be done to keep him safe.

All the while Nathaniel was speaking, her mind continued to play over the words he had spoken prior, about Gabriel, the thought of letting somebody harm him something she could not stomach...yet at the same time, Gabriel was powerful, if something should happen, and he was the one to try and kill Nathaniel....Gods...Just the thought of it tore her apart....To love two people so much and to have to choose......It of course was a different form of love, that was clear....but they were the only ones in her life besides her kids that she loved......ever......Sure she had thought she was in love, and that which she had with Mischa was love in a different form......But these two brothers had pretty much consumed all she would ever be able to give to anyone....She had nothing left......

Drawing her thoughts back to the present, she finally listened to his last statement and it brought her to bite her lip again.....A moments pause before she lowered her head slightly, her hair falling down into her face and a few locks over her eye.....When she looked back at him, those now icy hues were soft, and gentle....loving.....

"I hope that you know....you do not have to be alone anymore.....I understand that you have all those people that surround you...that love you in their own way.....They admire you, the lust for you, they want to be like you, to be near you......But I would wager a guess that in the middle of all that, some part of you feels alone, just like when you were growing up......."

It was then she looked down at Zeke, who had grabbed his binky hooked to his shirt and popped it into his mouth, his head resting against Nathaniel's chest as his eyes grew heavy....He was relaxed and happy.....she could feel it and that was good, it was something that made her happy despite any pain that lingered....

Turning her attention toward Nathaniel she then sighed.....

"I could be wrong, I mean, I do not know about your childhood, though I know the feeling of being utterly alone and unwanted. Having people look at you and seeing that fear in their eyes, like you were dangerous, like you were a monster......The ones who were supposed to love you, pushing you away to spite themselves......."

She paused once more, her mind trying to think of how to put into words what she was really trying to say...Not that the previous statements had not been meant.....

"But now.....I know what it is like to look into a set of eyes that see me as something more....That see me, and want me, despite my flaws and imperfections.....I see it everytime I look into his eyes, .....or...yours......It is not like with everyone else....Just seeing the me that I put forth, and not wanting to see what lies beneath.......It is seeing down into me and accepting me......I only hope you know that you have that now....Acceptance for you, your flaws and everything that makes up who you are....No judging, no seeing a monster....Just the man I love, with my whole heart and soul......And your son will see it to....He is a smart boy, just watch.......

It may not mean much to you....heh....I mean, I am just some emotional girl spilling her theories and personal experiences and trying to put together part of a puzzle, based on what little I know and have felt and seen.......That and, the idea may seem laughable......But....I have been wrong on many occassions. Why should this be any different? "

She then let her hand come out to brush over Zeke's hair as he seemed to have woken himself up again, not wanting to miss anything she was sure.....His eyes now cast upward toward his Father, still that curious look on his face......She then lifted her hand to brush softly along Nathaniel's neck, slowly, as she smiled that loving smile toward him......

"As for the darkness I hold back. I do it for him. He has a direct link to my emotions, and all this part of me I hide wants is to kill, to destroy, and to feed off the agony and pain of those that are dying....To feel their regrets and their sadness, their fear.....It is something that sets my blood on fire...Yet something I do not want our some exposed to......

Yet when I am away from here, I change, I let myself mix with it, and it has gotten me rather far as of late....Yet there are some things which I cannot control, and it pains me that I failed Gabriel in that regard. But I am who I am, no matter how much I wish I was better, for Zeke, for you....."

She then shook her head and sighed as she leaned there against the back of the couch, eyes remaining upon him and their son, happy at least, no matter what would come to pass, that Zeke had time with his Father....That his Father knew of him......It was far more than she could have hoped for. Far more indeed.

[Ezekial Seran]

Zeke had been playing destroy the town when he felt the man reach out and lift him up, his little hands clasping a block in each hand as he scrunched his brow together in a bit of a serious "what do you think you are doing?" look....Then as he was settled down atop the man, he could feel Mommy's emotions resonating from her in a soft soothing wave....

.:She got that way around Daddy.....umm...wait....She kept saying Father to this guy.....and Uncle to the other.....But that meant....

What did that mean?:.

His mind working over it as he heard the man speak and then give him a worried, curious look. Hmm...It only set his mind to working more even as he banged his two blocks together and then set one down on the man, using his now free hand to grab his binky and pop it into his mouth......

Picking up the blocks, he began to bang them together again...It seemed innocent enough, but yeah, he was totally wanting to break them to see what they did when they fell apart...

Yeah, he did so love to destroy stuff. Just then a little yawn escaped him from behind the binky in his mouth...Mommy had started clipping the thing to his clothes after Da....Unc....The other guy....lost it that day..

That had been a dark day for Ezekial.....He had been sure his life was over....Crying and crying and feeling like he was so lost....Then the other man had given him a new one...he had not wanted it...and finally after calling Mommy the man had found it....

Then it became the happiest day in Ezekial's life......

His attention wandered over his Mommy, listening to her speak as well. He could tell she was talking about him...worried about something.....

Gabriel.....A name he heard before....Oh yeah..Uncle Gabriel....Thats right....But that didn't make sense, cause the pictures on the picture box had shown that the guy who was Uncle was not the guy who was Daddy........

More and more questions entered the small ones mind...much more than the kids his age should have. Sure, they were always learning, but Ezekial learned at a much faster rate than most. He was a keen observer and as such he learned early to mimic much of what Mommy did.....

He already tried to make those funny shapes she made with the colors on the paper....Those things she called letters.....But he wasn't allowed to eat the colors.....So long as she was watching anyways.....

He also had the ability to understand the words that she spoke sometimes. Like he knew, from the pictures on the picture box that the Daddy was the one that loved the Mommy.....An emotion he only understood slightly....Seeing as how it was the one Mommy was full of every time she held him, and the one he had that matched her own.......

Then, like that, a little light went off in his head. That was it! That feeling that the picture box called love was the one that belonged to just the Mommies and the Daddies.....Which meant that if Mommy loved the guy he was seated upon, and the guy loved Mommy.....and the fact that they kept speaking the words Father, and things like that....It could only mean one thing.....

"Dad-da?"

He dropped the binky from his mouth, letting it fall where it may, knowing it was not going anywhere at the moment since it was hooked to him.....Speaking the words in a questioning manner....He tilted his head to look at the man as he dropped the blocks now....Gah he knew in his head basically what he wanted to ask, but he had yet to figure out how to say the words....

.:Name...Name...What did they call him?:.

Finally his own name came to mind....Okay, that was part of it, now the rest he could say easy enough.....

"Eke Da-da?"

Yup, "Zeke's Daddy?" was the basic sum up of that one, and in his head that is how it had sounded.....Eyes looking into the man's pretty eyes.....Ooooh....But Mommy said he could not touch those....Nobody's....It was sad...Made him wanna pout, but he wondered if the big peoples had even heard him...Or were they too busy talking?

It would not be the first time.....A little glance cast to Mommy, to make sure he was right? Cause if not then he had been right the fist time, and he would then proceed to want to see his Daddy...Though of course, it really didn't matter if the guy was his Daddy or not, he was still gonna want to see him. He missed him!!!

They always had so much fun! He loved staying there!

Oh yeah, his question!! Eyes going back to the man now..Head tilting a bit to the side.....just like Kev did so very often...that curious look burning inside his eyes......Along with the excitement of maybe having figured something out......

( OOC: Cant believe I just posted that much for a baby. XDD )